we are the cosmos made conscious

Like oversized mushrooms brought out by light showers, a passel of tents have sprouted all over the campground. Hundreds of them. Everywhere. Boys crowd the roads and congregate around the bathrooms like small well-behaved hooligans. Yes, it is the annual Boy Scout Jamboree which has attracted boys of all ages from all over Ontario, Quebec, and even New York State. We talked to one family who were from near West Point, a 6 hour drive away.

Walking the dogs has been a bit like dodgeball with Adia straining at the leash, tail wagging wildly, trying to get to every passer-by.

I have not been offered help to cross the road.

Sadly, it is raining on and off. No big deal for us, but I think a big downer for those excited kids trying to enjoy a weekend of camping.

Last night we cuddled in the camper and watched Brian Cox’s Planets series about Saturn. Interesting. He fires up the imagination and turns science into magic. After that I watched David Attenbourgh’s program about Birds of Paradise. Another fascinating piece of film narrated by someone passionate.

We got the dogs out for a short walk this morning (not counting the 6:30 am outing of course), skirting acres of mud puddles. It wasn’t long enough for Adia, but Spike was a trooper and keen for most of the trek. They need to go out again (its almost 4pm) but the rain is keeping us inside. Oh, the walking… all our normal walk places are covered in tents so we are venturing out on more muddy roads. (just in from taking Adia out - the roads are slick mud but if I take the exact right route I can mostly keep on grass)

We sat here, in the rain, tummies rumbling, and decided on a trip to the village for lunch: a greasy, yucky, McDonalds lunch. Yuck. It was good at the time, but by the time we got back to camp I was almost ready to puke. Why am I such a slow learner?

I hadn’t prepared Adia with Trazadone ahead of time but popped one into her anyway (disguised in a chicken heart of course), moved the wire crate into the bedroom, and left her with a filled Kong. The app on my tablet was recording… we were gone 50 minutes and during that time there was less than a minute of howling. A bit more whimpering, but I don’t think it would have been heard outside the camper. And who did most of the howling… Mr. Naughty! Poor little guy has taken the loss of his sisters pretty hard as he never would have made a peep before.

“The rain is falling all around,

It falls on field and tree,

It rains on the umbrellas here,

And on the ships at sea.” 

~Robert Louis Stevenson

“We are the cosmos made conscious and life is the means by which the universe understands itself.”

~Brian Cox

never dance in a puddle

It’s raining, it’s pouring… but we are cuddled up in the camper, entertained by CNN’s coverage of the Trump/Whistleblower fiasco. Some music would be a lovely change.

I’ll let Adia tell you about the past few days:

Hi. It’s me, Adia. I’ve been having lots of fun. We got into the truck the other day and ended up back at the house home. It was great cause I could run around to stretch my legs. Being on a leash all the time is hard, but it’s not too bad as I can snack on the goose poop all over the place. Laura gets mad at me - she just doesn’t know how yummy those poops are.

The night we were at the house was school night. The teacher said that I was a superstar and I know she is right. I’m so smart. She gave Laura a piece of paper with words to say that I had passed the class. Maybe I’ll do another one to show everyone that I’m even smarter.

The next day I got to run around some more and then we got in the truck again and came back to our camper home. I like this home a lot even though I have to be tied to a rope when I’m outside. There is so much to smell and see. There are some small animals that dart around and run up trees. Laura says they are called squirrels and I’ll tell you, I’d like to catch one. I bet if I was free I’d be able to run fast enough to get one. There are also the geese that poop and leave snacks. They aren’t that interesting. Laura says that I might like to do some coursing next year.

Laura sometimes swears a bit when she steps on one of my bones. She says they should be bright orange so they show up on the floor. I don’t see what the big deal is, can’t she just smell where they are?

I wish it wasn’t raining so that we could go for a long walk. I like doing that. Laura lets me sniff around quite a bit, and then sometimes gets me to walk beside her. When we pass people they are always saying how beautiful I am. I think they are right. They like to pet me and talk about how shiny and nice my fur is. Carm says that in the days coming up it will be boy scout weekend and that there will hundreds and maybe even thousands of boys in the campground. I hope they all want to pet me.

Adia

As you can see, Adia has adjusted well to camping. She’s been great, but we’ve been missing Bella and Kabira, perhaps more than when we are at home. They loved camping and going for walks - the two of them would march side by side, steps in sync, a perfect pair. Yes, I miss them.

Spike has been perky for the walks in the early morning, but after that he toodles along at a snail's pace. It might be his new anti-pull harness, or just that he stiffens up as the day wears on. I’ve been reading about CBD oil for dogs and wonder if I should get some for him.

We haven’t done another proper howling test since I wrote about the last one - that will maybe come next week. Or maybe this weekend because there will be so much boy scout noise that a bit of howling will hardly make a dent. Oh the horrors!

Pat has been camping not far from us so we’ve been doing a bit of socializing with her. I wonder how she is managing with this rain though!

“Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first).”

~John D. Rhodes

friends and family

So much fun has been had since I last wrote that I barely know where to start. 

Friends E & L arrived friday afternoon in time for supper. They set up camp across the road from us, really just a hop skip and a jump away. We sat around outside until everyone was starving for supper. Instant pot to the rescue - saute sausage, add sauce & dried pasta, shut lid and a few minutes later, voila! We sat and laughed well into the night - it seemed like there was so much to share with each other. 

Saturday morning we enjoyed our coffees in the sun and then Carm and E went off on a quest for breakfast and being manly men, to get some meat for supper. L and I kept the home fires burning - toast was good enough for us. Plus I wasn’t ready to leave Adia alone in the camper with so many weekend campers around.

Once the men were back we went our separate ways, walking dogs, relaxing, and waiting for Pat and Olaf and Freya to arrive.

What a party Saturday night! Gosh, it was a blast. We ate supper squished around a rickety old picnic table and then had a roaring campfire. I’m pretty sure we were a noisy bunch but I figured I’m so quiet the rest of the time I’ve earned some noise minutes ;-)

It was though, perhaps a bit too much fun for me… I tried to keep up with little brother Olaf (who is a giant of a man compared to me), and paid for it for in spades. I will never try to be the cool older sister… no, not me! I’m not cool… I’m old and decrepit and a little bit pathetic. Yesterday I could barely get out of bed to entertain our lunch guests. Mom and Dad arrived at 11 on the dot - I dragged myself out of bed for a bit and I’m ashamed to say I didn’t last for long. Thankfully Mom brought lunch so I didn’t have to do much…

What a weekend! I hope to do a slightly less alcoholic reenactment soon!

Through all of this the dogs were great and Adia got right into the fun. We sure lucked out with her. She’s taken to camping like she was born to camp.

You’ll have to excuse all the blurry photos, most were done without a flash and my little underwater camera is not the greatest at night shots.

“It was like a Russian party, Arkady thought. People got drunk, recklessly confessed their love, spilled their festering dislike, had hysterics, marched out, were dragged back in and revived with brandy. It wasn't a French salon.”

~Martin Cruz Smith

clouds overhead

My brain was a kaleidoscope of sensations today. Peaceful easy feeling fought with acute anxiety for space in my head. I think PEF won out, but only by a hair. Sometimes the anxiety mixed with PEF at the same time which is a weird feeling that flips between good and bad faster than a lightbulb flicks on and off.

I survived and I think the PEF did too. How could it not win out with a sky so blue and a sun so yellow? 

Carm was playing golf, so I took the two miscreants out for an early walk and then pulled the covers over my head for another hour, until I was woken up by Adia wildly ringing the bells. Did she have to go outside… well, it turns out NO. Was she hungry… well, it turns out YES. Little tinker but we still listen to the bell until I know she’s not about to have a bout of runny diahrea.

So, breakfast, coffee and then house cleaning. I got into every nook and cranny with the vacuum followed closely behind by a wet cloth. Every surface was swiped, including the floors. It was much overdue… what was the motivation? Company!!!

Spike, Adia and I went for an amble, and then with Spike safely locked inside, Adia and I marched for at least ½ hour. 

Then, with a snowball fight in my brain, I fired up some music and crammed myself into the little spot of shade that we have. Oh yeah. Nice.

Grace was also outside, enjoying every moment. She loves camping and part of that is because of her time outside.

You may recall that I went shoe shopping a few weeks ago and brought 2 pairs home to trial. Well, I picked my favorite and sent the reject back to the store. I trialed it some more, reluctant to make a firm decision, but finally, with a gulp, I stepped outside. So far so good. I wore them to the store. Good. I decided to break them in while camping and they have been so great that I’m thinking of buying another pair. I consider them well broken in so they are put aside for Europe. It is a sort of pedi miracle!

I sat (I don’t think sat is the right word cause I more or less flowed into my chair in a languid sprawl) outside till Carm was back. I lay my head back and watched the clouds pass overhead. The sole of a foot stomped past a giant bird, tail trailing in a magnificent swish. A rat nibbled on a fluffy niblet. It is a special sort of day that reveals so much in the sky.

Another short walk, sprawl, a longer walk, and here I am, in the camper writing this on my tablet.

“The first flash of color always excites me as much as the first frail, courageous bloom of spring. This is, in a sense, my season--sometimes warm and, when the wind blows an alert, sometimes cold. But there is a clarity about September. On clear days, the sun seems brighter, the sky more blue, the white clouds take on marvelous shapes; the moon is a wonderful apparition, rising gold, cooling to silver; and the stars are so big. The September storms--the hurricane warnings far away, the sudden gales, the downpour of rain that we have so badly needed here for so long--are exhilarating, and there's a promise that what September starts, October will carry on, catching the torch flung into her hand.”

~Faith Baldwin

sunshine

It is an absolutely wonderful day today. The sky is blue with not a cloud to be seen, the air is stirred by a gentle wind, and the sun is warm. My birthday week has almost always been ‘Indian Summer’ (am I allowed to say that?) and I have my parents to thank for their good timing.

The day started early, but this time it was Spike desperately needing out. I dragged Carm out of bed to help as it is hard to walk both dogs together: each of Adia’s steps is equal to 4 of Spikes pottering waddles. Getting business done is tricky. We bundled into jackets and headed into the picture perfect morning. The sun was rising over the trees across the lagoon, reflecting in the water. I couldn’t have painted a lovelier scene. 

Back at camp I fed the dogs and gave Adia a trazadone, an anti-anxiety drug … we were planning on breakfast in Morrisburg, and I had a plan to hopefully reduce the frantic howling that accompanied our last outing. I set up the app that I have on my tablet which records sounds - I was hoping to record the dogs while we were gone. 

I took Adia for a long walk to prep her for her time alone… when it was time to go we carried Adia’s crate into the bedroom and with Spike in the bedroom too she wouldn’t be alone. She got a Kong to take the edge off and I closed the blinds to create a dimly lit den. Away we went.

I should mention that there are no campers near us, in fact the campground is basically deserted so we knew we wouldn’t be bothering anyone even if the dogs put on an opera.

Breakfast, pet store, Giant Tiger, and finally Canadian Tire. An hour and a half later and we were back… no howling when I got out of the truck. A bit of whining when I opened the camper door. Stop the recording and see what happened. For the first 3 or 4 minutes there was some whining and mild howling and then silence. In fact I wondered if the app had stopped working but then, in the last 30 seconds was Spike crying and me talking to them and turning off ‘Parrot’. It wasn’t perfect but I consider it a success as I imagine that the initial noise will fade as they get used to being left.

My next conundrum is: do I try the Trazadone again and keep the crate? do I try the Trazadone and have her loose in the bedroom with Spike? Do I drop the Trazadone and keep the crate? I think I’ll do the trazadone and drop the crate a few times, with ‘Parrot’ recording of course.

Once back from our outing and we got Grace outside, we went for another walk, this time a bit longer. Spike labours but Adia could walk for hours. It’s quiet here with very few campers which leaves large grassy areas open for squirrels and geese. Our spot is on the edge of an area with lanes lined with towering pines and cushioned with fallen needles. There is a hush. Peaceful easy feeling washes over me, calming the anxiety that built up by leaving the dogs alone.

Back at camp I dug out my speaker and sat outside with music. Bliss. Take another short walk, this time with just Adia, to look out over the water to the St. Lawrence. Too mucky to let her in the water. Back to my music. Oh yeah!

I’ll do a bit of time travel to get back to Tuesday. We went home in the afternoon for Adia’s school. She did great as usual but there are a few things we can work on - walking on leash without being distracted is a challenge. We are in the right place to practice this! I’ve started using two commands: let’s go, for a loose leash walk; and go sniff for less structure.  Her stay is great and continues to improve (which you can see in the photos).

Carm golfed Wednesday morning and I took Adia to get her nails clipped, and then back to the shop with Spike to try on a harness. He now has a no pull harness with a comfortable breast plate. What he really needs though is a stroller :-(

We stopped at the vets to weight Adia and she topped the scale at 31.9kg - just over 70lbs.

Have I mentioned how beautiful it is today?

“I cannot endure to waste anything so precious as autumnal sunshine by staying in the house."

~Nathaniel Hawthorne

with mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come

That peaceful easy feeling has descended on me again - a welcome change from the anxiety ridden mood I’ve been in lately. Yes, the first day of camping always seems to generate PEF. I don’t know if it is the change of scenery, the adult beverage taken out in the sun, or the release of all the stress of getting ready, but gosh darn it never seems to fail. 😊

It’s Adia’s first camping trip and she’s doing pretty well. It took her awhile to get used to being tied up - something scared her so she spooked and broke the cable tie clip, which scared her more… a sturdy rope and better clip and some treats and time settled her down. I can’t say she loves that aspect, but I’m certain she’ll get used to it. 

She loved walking around the park. So many smells and sights - it was a lot for a young dog to take in, but through it all (as long as I was paying attention) she walked on the leash beautifully. Last night we took her somewhere she could run a bit and visited the same spot as the sun rose over the misty St. Lawrence for a few minutes of crazy dog zoomies. She had a good time!

Oh, and best of all, she used the bell this morning! I started teaching her this last week and was amazed how quickly she figured it out. Well, I brought them with me and hung them in the bedroom. I showed them to her twice and wasn’t holding out much hope… but ring-a-ling-a-ling this morning! What a memory.

There is a bit of a crash landing though… she howls when we are gone, which gets Spike barking and howling as well. We have to figure out a way around this or our camping trip will be abbreviated… any quick working ideas? Bella, Kabira, and Spike, never made a peep in all our years camping - I know because I always asked the campers around us. They were such good dogs… I miss them.

Oh, and going to the bathroom in a strange place - it’s happening, but it takes ages. I’ve been walking and walking trying to get her to go, but gosh, it takes a lot of steps! (7600 today already and it’s only 1pm).

Spike is managing okay but he isn’t up for the hour long brisk walks that we used to take. I guess his age (11 ½) has caught up with him. So sad to see as he loved his walks. He just potters along with his weird shuffling amble. It’s nearly impossible for me to walk them alone - Spike lags and Adia drags - not a good combination.

I’m wondering if I might fire up some sparklers tonight - I don’t have 57 but maybe one or two big ones would do the trick :-) It’s funny - when I look in the mirror, I don’t see a 57 year old woman, I don’t feel 57 either. Perhaps the calendar is playing a cruel trick on me.

Life is pretty good though - I feel happy and content - blessed -  even when I’m not, if that makes any sense at all.

“With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.”

~William Shakespeare

“The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.”

~Arthur C. Clarke

smart-y pants

We had to take the brown car into town today to get a special superman coating that deflects flying rocks, so, even though I was feeling lazy, I packed Adia into the truck for an outing. 

After we dropped the car off we headed to the nearby PetSmart. I wasn’t sure how she’d do - this was her first foray into such a mind blowing environment, but as usual, she was a champion. Her nose was on high alert as we traversed the aisles laden with dog food and treats. Such a distraction! I was able to get her attention for microseconds, but they quickly grew to seconds - not sure that we got to a minute though! She got lots of pets from the sales staff and loved every moment. She is definitely a people dog. 

Hurrah for food driven dogs. I had a pouch full of kibble that was doled out generously. It really helps her to focus on me and calm her mind down. At the end we were able to walk down most of a row without sniffing. More work is required, but it is not a hopeless case :-)

We made a few more quick stops without getting her out of the car, and then we were at Grandma’s house (shhhh…. don’t tell Spike we were there without him!). Adia’s nose was going full bore again, but she quickly settled and had a mostly loose leash walk. She’s pretty strong when she puts her mind but luckily a little piece of kibble keeps most of her attention.

One thing we have to do more work on is getting her attention back with a strong distraction. Should I use her name or a little noise to refocus her? Camping will give lots more opportunity to practice.

Oh, and what is she doing now? She’s dead to the world in the bedroom! Such an exciting outing.

We picked up the cargo barrier for the car from Purolator this afternoon. We are anxious to try it out in the car! What a hullabaloo getting it here. Purolator would deliver with the construction but FedEx had no problem…

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

~Viktor E. Frankl

reawakening

Last night we attended Carm’s mom’s mass. As usual, it was mostly in Italian so it left me with plenty of time to think and daydream. Probably 98% of the people speak very little to no Italian, leaving just a few people to understand the sermon - I find this odd. 

The mass meant that we missed Adia’s school last night - I wonder what she missed? How far behind is she going to fall?. We are at a slight disadvantage in that we have to drive to the village to get distractions - her heel down the laneway is almost perfect, but take it on the road and it all falls apart. I’ve been too lazy to take her elsewhere to practice.

I’ve fallen down on a few things like ‘give me your attention when I say your name’… 

Part of the delay in car rides is that the barrier that we ordered for the brown car is not being delivered, probably because the ^&*% dump trucks working on the bridge are completely blocking our laneway and actually, the whole road to get to our place. It is a royal pita as we are on our third day with the gate open waiting for deliveries. Gate open = dogs on leash :-(

I’ve been so lazy and anxious these days. I think it is normal light change mood blip so I’m not getting too worried, but gosh it’s a pain. Hopefully I’ll snap out of it when we go camping next week.

Pat came for supper on Sunday night so that we could have a small celebration of her birthday! I made ribs that we had gotten from Costco - they were the meatiest ribs that I’ve ever had. As usual the instant pot came to the rescue (cut into individual ribs, dry rub, 1 can beer, ribs on end on rack, 20 min, then NR, brown under broiler for 5 minutes).

A few days ago Spike perked up and started spending less time in the bedroom staring at the ceiling and more time with us. He is more animated and seems less depressed. He’s been spending time outside following Adia around (when she’s not going full speed), and seems to be wanting to make friends and not just tolerate her. He often runs over to be included when I get out the clicker. They’ve even laid down on the futon nearly touching - this is a big deal for him! Our fingers are crossed that he is finally recovering from the rocky summer: losing both his ‘sisters’ and a big dental surgery was hard. 

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

~Helen Keller

on the wall

We had an exciting few days and then a few quiet, hibernate, ones. Thursday we picked up the paintings of Bella and Kabira from Frank (message me for his website). I surprised myself and didn’t cry, perhaps because I was distracted by all the stuff in the store. It took us a few days, but now they are hung in the livingroom. They are the same size as Spikes so I’ll be rotating them to the spot of honor. I’m so pleased with them.

We also picked up something else that I won’t tell you about. Let’s just say that it’s brown and very big.

Shoe shopping - the horrors - has left me with 2 pairs to trial in the house for a few days. The sales guy recommended that I wear them at home for a bit to see which pair is the most comfortable. They are both ugly as sin, and assuming they don’t hurt my feet, would be perfect for Europe (which is coming up in 2 months). I did one mile on the treadmill with the big clunky pair with some success. 

We’ve been eating piles of toasted tomato sandwiches (and note to self - get some bacon out of the freezer for tonight).

I spoke too soon about Adia’s guts… a probiotic arrived this afternoon that we’ll try… fingers crossed. Oh!!! And I started teaching her to ring the bells to go outside two days ago and today she rang three times! Twice for good reason, once to get outside to see what Carm was doing.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

~Charles R. Swindol

camping trial

The long weekend wasn’t a big event for us. Years ago we stopped camping on the long weekends - too much chaos from all the people and dogs. Plus it seemed right to leave the sites for people who can’t camp during the week.

Saturday we did pack up the dogs to visit Pat at Riverside, the campground we’ll be at in 2 weeks. It was a bit of a training event for Adia and as always she was great. The two dogs travelled well in the backseat of the truck. She is just like Kabira, lying down as soon as the truck starts moving. At one point she and Spike were both asleep against each other.

Jo Ellen and Don came by one night with their new little bundle: a 1 year old red toy poodle. She was with a family with a bunch of young kids and they couldn’t manage her. She’s cute as a button and I think once she settles in, she'll give them a run for their money! She’s lucky to have ended up in such a great home.

Trudie & Leo were here for a visit last night - as usual we had spirited discussions about everything under the sun. Adia is a little much when there are guests - she has trouble calming down and jumps on and off the futon, never settling for more than a minute or two. She did spend some time in her crate, which is good practice too.

Bella and Kabira’s paintings are done! We just have to figure out a time to pick them up and then they’ll be hung in the living room. It will be bittersweet to see their faces in the house again.

I’ve been trudging on. I have no energy for anything and feel somewhat wiped out by all the events of the summer. I think it is only Adia’s joyous presence that is keeping me out of depression. I’m doing all my ‘things to do’ and I suppose it is helping. No, not ‘I suppose’ - it IS working and I AM feeling good. 

Hi, it’s Adia. I’ve been too busy with my bones and running with my blue squeaky toy to say much. Laura has been trying to teach me lots of things and I think I must be pretty smart to learn all these pointless tricks. But Laura seems happy so I try my best but sometimes it seems stupid and I don’t want to do it. I’ve been going to school a few times. It’s fun with all the dogs, but some of them are annoying as all they do is whine and fuss. I’m much better than that and don’t see the point of worrying. It was interesting to see all kinds of dogs that look different from me (they aren’t as beautiful as I am though).

Laura has been feeding me lots of good things. Sometimes they upset my tummy but I’m getting more used to eating everything. It’s worth it - those chicken hearts are tasty. I could eat lots of them but Laura only lets me have a few.

A few days ago we went in the truck to a strange place. Laura said it was a campground and that it would be our home in a few weeks. I’ve very excited about that! We saw Pat and lots of other people. I was pretty excited and wanted to smell all the grass and trees and everything. Soon I was used to things and walked with Laura like a good dog. We even saw some other dogs that looked interesting. When the people had their lunch in a funny tent Spike and I had to be tied outside. I thought that was unfair but soon there were people walking on the road which was fun to watch. There were even people on funny machines that didn’t scare me. Laura said I was very good.

Today we went to what Laura calls the village. There were so many cars and some big trucks that let out a huge hiss that scares me. Laura helped me feel less afraid and soon I wasn’t jumping when those trucks made the loud noises. Laura says we have to come here more which is fine with me cause I get lots of treats. She helps me feel less scared and I know so many tricks that it makes me feel better when I do them. Some are so easy, like looking at Laura in the eyes, I almost can’t believe that I get a treat for doing that. Maybe I’m tricking her into doing these things. I also got my nails clipped in a little store which I didn’t like at all. The mean lady said that I did well though.

I better go now and sleep because Laura says that tonight is a school night.

Adia