gnarly yoyo

After another restless night stressing about groceries I decided to put my mind at ease by going through the fridge and pantry to make up a list of what meals I can make… as it turns out we may not have to leave the house ever again ;-o

Did this put my mind at ease? Well, sort of... I’m afraid my bipolar brain is not fully cooperating with me and is spinning me into an anxious hoarding mindset. I’m fighting it off and looking at my list when I feel most stressed, but like a gnarly yoyo it keeps returning. I’ve got to get control of the string! The crazy thing is that I’m not particularly worried about getting it myself, and in fact the possibility seems quite remote, but my brain is unpredictable in its response to stress.

I wasn’t just worried about people food… oh no, that would be too simple. I started worrying that the pet stores would close and that we’d run out of dog food. Luckily we have a little boutique grooming/dog food store in the village. They have very few clients as they have reduced the grooming so we felt it was worth the risk, and better now before more people get ill. It was good to get out for a few minutes. I guess we could always get grocery store food but we like to feed them a higher quality meal.

The first part of the day was glorious with a shocking blue sky with clouds on the distant horizon. First thing in the morning I stepped outside into ‘normal’. The distinct chirp of the cardinal distracted me from the outside world for a little while. Alas, those clouds eventually obliterated the sun from our view. We did get Adia out for some running (think maniac) which has left her in a calmer state. As the snow recedes (and the mud advances), it will get easier to wear her out.

Yesterday I started putting together some of the tricks I’d taught Adia the other day. So far we have a spin to the front right of me, pass through my right leg and curl around through my left leg, spin to the left of me and then finish in front. It’s a complicated maneuver but she’s getting it down. I think next I’ll add regular weave through my legs as I walk. 

Tonight would have been school night :-(

I saw the cutest little rescue miniature poodle on facebook last night. Oh gosh, I wanted to bring him home. I had to remind myself that I have my hands full with the whirling dervish and don’t need another poodle to groom. Spring is traditionally the time when I go squirrelly for a new pet - MUST KEEP STRONG!

For a fun little diversion I took a look at some old photos. These two are Torge, the first when he is being born, the second one an hour or two later. I feel blessed to have such wonderful memories.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”

~haruki murakami