it's time that we began to laugh

How are you doing? I’ve been okay for the last few days until this morning when I watched NY Governor Andrew Coumo’s press conference - he talked about the steps they are taking to ramp up the medical system, how important social distancing and staying home is, and other issues. He spoke for almost an hour. I was okay. He was measured and calm, not minimizing the facts but not creating panic either. 

Then I watched Trudeau’s speech. He was the same as Coumo, measured and calm.  Half way through Trudeau’s speech I’d reached the saturation point that I didn’t know I had. Reality knocked at the door, no, it kicked the door in. My bubble burst. I felt overwhelmed again. 

When outside reality gets to be too much, it is time to turn off the TV and make some bread. First I went outside - it’s bright, sunny, and cool with a bit of wind. I walked around the house, watching the dogs play around and immediately felt calmer. Once back in the house I got busy cleaning up my baking cart arranging the different types of flour, stacking the yeast packets, and then making bread. Earthy things that keep me in the present and help to rebuild the bubble. I could enjoy the miracle of flour, water, yeast and salt coming together to make a stretchy dough. I could revel in the sensation of kneading the elastic creation.

There is a certain kind of satisfaction in the knowledge that there are 2 lovely loaves of bread baking in the oven.

Often when I make bread, I seperate some little balls of dough to flatten and grill once they’ve risen. Slathered with butter and honey, they are a sweet indulgence.

It is distressing to know that nobody knows how long this will go on. It might be months. 

I have to remind my brain to not think about the things we cannot do, like seeing family and friends. I have to remember that I am my thoughts and that if I dwell my mental health will suffer.

“Now so long, Marianne

It’s time that we began to laugh

And cry and cry and laugh about it all again”
~Leonard Cohen

In Montreal at 8pm tonight people are encouraged to go to their windows and balconies to sing Leonard Cohen songs. I am so bummed that I’m not there to add my (horrible) voice. I love Leonard and the idea of everyone singing at once brings chills down my back. Hopefully someone will post a recording on Facebook.

“Adversity is like a strong wind. I don't mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.”

~Arthur Golden