inoculate against anxiety

Clouds and bits of rain shaded our day but not to worry, I had a project in mind to keep me distracted from the dreariness. The tub of flour and jar of yeast got carted out from my pantry… bagels were the experiment today. 

There are 2 main types: Montreal and New York. I stuck with the fluffy NY style as I’d gotten a recipe that Shenna had tried and liked. I thought that next time I’d try the slightly more complicated Montreal style, but honestly, once the cream cheese was smeared on these beauties I was sold. I think they were way better than TIm Hortons, better than most that I’ve had. But I usually like my own cooking - it’s such a miracle in my eyes!

    I can’t wait for tomorrow’s breakfast!

Carm helped with kneading as the dough was too heavy for my machine. Like the cinnamon buns it seemed that it took all day. I’m hoping that the second time I make them will go better. At the boiling point I was zooming around the kitchen and making some mistakes which prompted Carm to make a comment - I thought about it for a minute and realized that the busy times are almost like a dance as you have to be in specific spots at specific times - it takes practice to get good at it!

 

Baking and cooking, making food and eating, has been my COVID-19 medication to inoculate against the worst of the anxiety and worry. Who knew they meant ‘Covid + 19 pounds’. Well, it’s not that bad, but I did feel a bit like I had a life preserver on and was bobbing around in the bathtub today…

Some of our herd in 2004: Dora, Ingvy-frey or was that Petra?, Valena, Rose, and I can’t see the rest. It was a full barn.

Headline tonight:  1,093,724 cases with 63,801 deaths in the US. There are a total of 53,021 (51,597 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 3,180 (2,996 yesterday) deaths to date.

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.”

~Barack Obama

a tiny bit like a pancake

Day 45… I can’t think of anything to say about that. What is there to say except it is not the last. In the first few (40 or so) days I alternated between slightly manic and slightly depressed and often freaked out… now I’m stuck at flat, or what some people would call normal.

Normal is okay but not the greatest. All creativity has drained from my brain, leaving me slightly wordless. My brain is stodge. Books like ‘Secret Garden’ and as it turns out mindless romance ones are about the limit of my intelligence. I hope that it’s temporary. I suppose given what’s going on, flat is a good state to be in (but slightly manic is so much more fun - oh, to wax poetic about the colour of the sky).

We took a quick drive into the city so Carm could do a shop at Costco. The dogs now have lots of liver treats, and we have lots of bananas and flour. 

Tonight I made Greek potatoes along with a tiny bit of sausage, and some asparagus. I saw the recipe for the potatoes on facebook so thought I’d give it a try. Oh boy… so good! The leftovers will make awesome hash browns for breakfast. It seems that I can still cook at ‘flat’ which may or may not be a good thing. Thinking of making some bagels in a few days, and surely we’ll need cinnamon buns on the weekend.

How can it be Wednesday again already?

This is a photo of our property taken in 2003 by my Dad. Our property line is the 3 roads, and then the river to the left of the photo. I can’t see the horses, but they are hidden somewhere. 

Headline tonight:  1,063,351 cases with 61,618 deaths in the US. There are a total of 51,597 (50,026 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,996 (2,859 yesterday) deaths to date.

“She says it has nothing to do with what you look like, or what you have. It has only to do with what you think of, and what you do.”

Frances Hodgson Burnett

first sunburn

Today was a taste of summer. The sun was strong (I got a sunburn) so we invited Jo Ellen and Don over for a social distant driveway visit. It’s easy to stay far apart in the laneway! I think this might actually become a ‘thing’ moving forward.

I had Adia tied up near us but it was a bit hot for her so she was in and out of the house a few times. Spike was stuck inside as he goes crazy when he sees Jo Ellen and I couldn’t imagine having to try to keep him away. 

Chicken and dumplings were on the menu tonight - thankfully I’d done most of the prep before J&D came over, otherwise I’m not sure it would have come together after an afternoon in the sun!

Headline tonight:  1,034,115 cases with 59,112 deaths in the US. There are a total of 50,026 (48,458 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,859 (2,704 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”

Lemony Snicket

live inside that hope

The sun wasn’t shining but even still we had enough get-up-and-go to do a massive spring cleaning. We moved furniture, Carm vacuumed, I washed and dusted, and eventually the place was sparkling like it hasn’t sparkled for a very long time. There are still massive piles of books hither and thither - I don’t think we’ll even clear them out, but at least there isn’t an inch of dog hair, dust, and dirt in every corner. 

In the good old days we would have immediately setup plans for someone to come for dinner. Alas, it was just Carm and I that sat down for tonights meal of roasted vegetables with a side of chicken.

  This is like the little robin in ‘Secret Garden’.

I even found the time to make a big batch of bone broth for the dogs breakfasts. I made enough broth for tomorrow night’s ‘chicken and dumplings’.

All that excitement has me lolling on the sofa after supper with my eyes barely staying open. 

Trudie & Leo social distancing

Headline tonight:  USA topped one million cases. 1,009,040 cases with 56,677 deaths in the US. There are a total of 48,458 (46,895 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,704 (2,560 yesterday) deaths to date.

“The very least you can do in your life is figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.”

~Barbara Kingsolver

sound in body and serene of mind

It’s cloudy again today, but that doesn’t matter as yesterday we got a tantalizing taste of summer! The mercury hit 15C which meant some time outside in short sleeves.

We are nearing the end of the dog’s bedtime snack: raw chicken hearts, so we phoned up Cote Poultry to order a 10kg box. They also had an 18kg box of miscellaneous chicken pieces available so we picked that up too. As it turns out there was no misc about it - it was fully legs with back attached which is not one of our favorite cuts. We packaged it up in bags of 2 so either they get used in soups and stews or the dogs get a scrumptious treat. We won’t bother with that again…

On the way home we stopped at Mom and Dad’s for a front porch visit - it was great to see the three of them - Graham hit it on the head when he said “don’t go, we haven’t seen anyone for ages’! Sadly that bothersome chicken cut our visit short.

Late in the afternoon Trudie & Leo came by for a laneway visit. I put the chairs out an hour before they got there so the sun would have time to do its work and we each brought our own wine and glasses, so it was a safe visit from a distance.

It was so nice to see someone other than Carm! Today is the 6 week mark… horrors.

Last night we watched ‘Contagian’, which, if I had seen a month ago would have freaked me out tremendously, but even with 6 weeks under my  belt it did raise my anxiety levels a fair amount. 

Today is my dear niece Nissa’s birthday which is why I’m sharing photos of her. She was an adorable baby (as all babies are, but she was especially cute).

Tonight we got together with Kirsten (and family), and Olaf for another zoom gathering. It’s a bit chaotic with so many people but fun none-the-less and the best we can hope for these days.

Headline tonight:  987,160 cases, with 55,413 deaths in the US. There are a total of 46,895 (43,888 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,560 (2,147 yesterday) deaths to date.

“For the man sound in body and serene of mind there is no such thing as bad weather; every day has its beauty, and storms which whip the blood do but make it pulse more vigorously.” ~George Gissing

the changing seasons

A dusting of flour coated every surface in the kitchen as I whirled from a yeasty task to a sugary one. Like so many, cooking and baking gives me a sense of being in control and accomplishment. Oh sure, I could be doing a deep spring cleaning but I just don’t have the motivation. Sunshine (not today) and sugar seem to propel me forward as we complete our 40th day. 

I’ve never been one much for baking - I believe the last time I made cookies before Covid was 5 or even 6 years ago. Today I made my 4th batch - peanut butter again. I think once the cookies are gone I might do another burnt sugar cake, but only one sweet at a time. We have a mid afternoon break (break from what one might wonder) with a cookie and coffee or tea. It beaks the endless day up. 

I say endless, but somehow time is going by quickly. I’m shocked to find out that today is already Friday again. On Sunday we’ll hit our 6 week mark. How is that possible? Is time going quickly for you too?

The flour flew again as I took another go at the Artisan bread that I made a week or so ago. I skipped adding oil to the bowl and just followed the exact instructions - it was very sticky coming out of the bowl but I managed to get it formed into 2 loaves. I did replace one cup of regular flour with whole wheat. The end result was great! I had a piece with my soup and another smeared with maple syrup butter - oh yeah baby!

I can’t believe how much flour I’ve gone through! We’ll both have to start wearing flour sacks with all this crazy eating :-)

In all this time I’ve hardly done any training with Adia - I could have taught her all sorts of tricks but the umpf has been siphoned from my get go. I’ve read that this is an actual thing.

Our hair is getting long. I wonder if we’ll try giving each other haircuts? Perhaps I’ll find I like wearing hats after that. I think there will be a lot of people with shaved heads going forward. The real question is: do we have a few drinks before or after?

Headline tonight:  923,612 cases, with 52,092 deaths in the US. There are a total of 43,888 (2,302 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,? (2,147 yesterday) deaths to date.

“To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring.“

~George Santayana

vacationing muse

It was bright and sunny and we had somewhere to go today! In winter coats… but still, it was sunny and glorious.

Carm wore his mask and disinfected his hands and I stayed in the car so we probably survived our winey outing. 

My muse must be on vacation as I have absolutely nothing to say… or perhaps it’s the mindless pap that I’ve been reading today has liquified my brain. I’ve got 3 books on the go, well, really 2 as I haven’t started ‘Secret Garden’ yet. One of them is a collection of essays by Joan Didion who was a political essayist in the 60s and 70s, and the other a really lame romance novel that seems to remove any intelligence that I might have had. 

A photo of new life seemed like an uplifting photo to include. This is Petra taking her first drink of Viktoria’s life giving milk. I can’t remember the year. Petra was born in the middle of the night, like many foals, with both Deirdre and myself in attendance. Probably Carm too.

Headline tonight:  Calgary stampede cancelled. Ontario extends state of emergency till May 6th. 878,779 cases, with 49,751 deaths in the US. There are a total of 42,110 (40,190 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 2,147 (1,974 yesterday) deaths to date.

“And they both began to laugh over nothing as children will when they are happy together. And they laughed so that in the end they were making as much noise as if they had been two ordinary healthy natural ten-year-old creatures—instead of a hard, little, unloving girl and a sickly boy who believed that he was going to die.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

kind thoughts

When I let the dogs out this morning I was saddened to see more than a dusting of snow on the ground - I had to double check the calendar that it was in fact April… near the end of April. The sun had strength though and quickly melted the white reminder of winter as soon as the shade disappeared.

The day passed much like all the rest… mostly good with the odd bit of anxiety. It’s tricky to know what is causing what though as this is one of my hard time of year periods - looking back in my notes I can see that April and May are usually struggles… so I suppose it’s not too surprising that I have fragile moments.

Another experiment in the instant pot tonight. Deconstructed cabbage rolls were spooned into bowls. It doesn’t look like much, but Carm gave it 5/5 stars so I guess it will be a redo. Good thing we liked it though as we have enough leftovers for 2 more nights! 

Headline tonight:  848,735 cases, with 47,663 deaths in the US. There are a total of 40,190 (38,422 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,974 (1,834 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Perhaps you can feel if you can’t hear,” was her fancy. “Perhaps kind thoughts reach people somehow, even through windows and doors and walls. Perhaps you feel a little warm and comforted, and don’t know why, when I am standing here in the cold and hoping you will get well and happy again.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

grey sleeting sky

I rolled over and pulled the covers over my head when I saw the grey sleeting sky from the little window. There didn’t seem to be anything worth getting up for - I wasn’t feeling depressed or even discouraged, just lacked motivation. I did eventually end up getting up and pottered around the house before settling in with a cheesy romance ‘novel’ (I hesitate to endow it with such a lofty term).

Last night Carm rummaged through the wine cellar looking for the treasured bottle of Pinot Noir that I had hefted home from NZ in 2013. He dusted it off and pulled the cork. Oh my. It was probably the best wine I’ve ever had. So smooth and velvety. We savoured it while visiting with Kirsten’s family and Olaf on Zoom. The evening flew by and the ambrosia disappeared quickly.

The weather was a mashup today - the sun shone for a few minutes this morning? afternoon? so we dashed out with the hell hound. After being out for a while we glanced behind us and saw black clouds bearing down on us, so we dashed inside just as a wild wind pelted ice pellets at us. The sun and clouds played across the sky all day.

Headline tonight:  817,187 cases, with 45,229 deaths in the US. There are a total of 38,422 (36,670 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,834 (1,680 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Sometimes since I've been in the garden I've looked up through the trees at the sky and I have had a strange feeling of being happy as if something was pushing and drawing in my chest and making me breathe fast. Magic is always pushing and drawing and making things out of nothing. Everything is made out of magic, leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes and squirrels and people. So it must be all around us. In this garden - in all the places.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

keep our thoughts in the sunshine

I’ve been blessed with 4 nieces on my side of the family, the oldest of which is Shenna, whose birthday it is today. I had been looking forward to spending her first birthday back in Canada with her, but alas, the universe has other plans.

So instead of spending time with her physically, I’ve gone through some of my photos and pulled out a few of the best. My quest has revealed that I’m missing 3 years worth of my photos so I’ll have to go searching for them - a good isolation day pursuit (although hardly an idle pleasure!). It’s also shown that as is often the case, I have more photos of her than any of my other nieces...

It’s a bright sunny day with little wind, thank goodness, as the mercury is hovering around the freezing mark. 

I’m feeling that the shut-down must surely be coming to an end… I feel antsy for company but find the allure of going out is fading. I’ve always been a homebody and I’m afraid this has been reinforced so I might have a challenge once life is ‘back to normal’ (whenever or whatever that is).

And now for Shenna:

    On my 40th birthday

    At the Royal Winter Fair

   She got decorated in my painting phase

     Shenna’s first horse ride

I had many pleasures today, although I had to look hard at times. It was fun going through my photos and remembering so many pleasurable times - that was one of the easy ones. In the afternoon I was floating in a sea of vanilla bubble bath with sun in my eyes and the water reflecting on the walls, Gordon Lightfoot was strumming on his guitar. A moment to embrace. Sadly my playlist randomly selected several derge songs after that, starting with Leonard Cohen’s Tower of Song… it went downhill from there! Walking around outside was a pleasure today - I even went out without a coat for a while - so nice! 

I’ve included quotes by Frances Hodgson Burnett many times before, but somehow her wisdom seems particularly apt for these difficult days. Let’s all keep our thoughts in the sunshine.

Headline tonight:  19 dead in worst mass shooting in Canada’s history. 791,625 cases, with 42,458 deaths in the US. There are a total of 36,670 (35,056 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,680 (1,587 yesterday) deaths to date.

“One of the new things people began to find out in the last century was that thoughts—just mere thoughts—are as powerful as electric batteries—as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. To let a sad thought or a bad one get into your mind is as dangerous as letting a scarlet fever germ get into your body. If you let it stay there after it has got in you may never get over it as long as you live... surprising things can happen to any one who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place.

"Where you tend a rose, my lad, A thistle cannot grow.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

cinnabon charades

It is a grey rainy day (sense a trend)? The skies have been crying raindrops all day, perhaps in an effort to bring forth life from the mucky earth. Sun would be more appropriate, but who am I to say.

After last week’s cinnamon bun failure I set myself to the task of trying another recipe. I picked a more promising one, starting with the use of yeast. Every step seemed to take forever, possibly due to my old yeast. Anyway, the timer beeped at me several times as I stepped through the recipe. Finally the time came to put them in the oven and soon the smell of baking bread flavoured with copious amounts of cinnamon stirred our appetites. 

     Cinnabon look out!

A final beep of the timer informed me that it was baked and ready to be slathered with icing. A few minutes later and I was serving hot buns onto plates. Sticky fingers, wide smiles and empty plates soon followed.

Bellies full, I started on prep for supper. Beef bourguignon with yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and carrots. Whew! That’s a lot of eating for one day - no wonder time is going so fast...

Which is worse? Photos of food or ancient pictures of me as a child?

How are you feeling about the US starting to open up the restrictions? I have mixed feelings - on one hand I’d love to see life get back to normal, but I think that is unrealistic and expect some sorts of restrictions for the next year. Hopefully we’ll be able to ease isolation but what is that going to look like? No groups bigger than 10? A free for all? Restrictions for over 70 and other vulnerable people? I don’t feel that I’ll be running out to the stores right away. Hopefully I’ll cautiously visit with other people that I feel are being responsible. I imagine that physical distancing guidelines will still be in effect so maybe there won’t be any candlelight dinners.  

Headline tonight:  763,579 cases, with 40,524 deaths in the US. There are a total of 35,056 (33,218 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,587 (1,469 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Much more surprising things can happen to anyone who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable, determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

all worn out

I haven’t missed a day of posting for weeks and weeks - today was going to be the first as I don’t really have anything to say - I think I’m all worn out from yesterday’s overwrought emotional outburst. It’s really not sustainable… Today has been a regular day with a sleep-in, coffee, walk outside, cooking, and ages of comedy videos on youtube. I’ve become a slight stand-up junkie as it seems a bit of laughter in my day is exactly what I need.

another random photo from the ‘slides’ directory. Ancient history!

Headline tonight:  736,790 cases, with 38,920 deaths in the US. There are a total of 33,218 (31,927 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,469 (1,310 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Riches can all be lost, but that happiness in your own heart can only be veiled, and it will bring you happiness again, as long as you live.”

Anne Frank

the beauty that still remains

I was still thinking about Anne Frank when I woke up this morning. I don’t know why I’m wired this way but tragic stories affect me deeply, too deeply really and often it’s hard to shake the feeling. This morning was no different… I should say, now is no different.

I looked through the ‘good reads’ site of her quotes, there were lots of good ones but I settled on the one at the end of this post. She wrote with so much maturity for a 15 year old - it seems impossible for one so young… her words are ones to live by.

Segue to the trouble I was having with Google Photos - my mood took a decided downturn as frustration and anger mounted. Carm helped me debug - part of the debugging was removing all local versions of my photos - I almost lost it at that point - it is partially working now but I haven’t tried editing a photo from our network storage and storing it on the cloud yet. 

I slouched around the house some more, doing the odd thing but generally too discombobulated to do much. I felt fragile. And angry with myself for being so emotional. ‘Get a grip!’. I don’t know about you, but I feel afraid for our future. My future. The world’s future.  I don’t want my life to change… Thoughts on how the USA, who used to be a big brother in the world, has fallen down with its leadership, leaving room for China or Russia to step into the void. What if they become too powerful and impose themselves on our lives? What’s going to happen with the Ebola outbreak in Africa without Obama to intervene like he did last time? Is this all a prelude to climate change? Are we going to be really fucked? 

Sometimes I think too much.

Cue some uplifting music: 

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

My, oh, my, what a wonderful day

Plenty of sunshine headin' my way

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder

It's the truth, it's "actch’ll"

Everything is "satisfactch'll"

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

Disney to the rescue!

It’s cold and windy with clouds zooming past the sun. Not a bad day, but not great either.

Is it wrong for me to wish covid-19 on all those protesters in the states? Not to mention their leader as he maliciously encourages people to protest the stay at home orders. Watching the news often ratchets up my anxiety levels.

Headline tonight:  709,201 cases, with 37,135 deaths in the US. There are a total of 31,927 (3,106 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,310 (1,191 yesterday) deaths to date.

“'I’m filled with joy. I think of going into hiding, my health and my whole being as das Gute; Peter's love (which is still so new and fragile and which neither of us dares to say aloud), the future, happiness and love as das Liebe; the world, nature and the tremendous beauty of everything, all that splendor, as das Schöne.

At such moments I don't think about all the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. This is where Mother and I differ greatly. Her advice in the face of melancholy is: "Think about all the suffering in the world and be thankful you're not part of it." My advice is: "Go outside, to the country, enjoy the sun and all nature has to offer. Go outside and try to recapture the happiness within yourself; think of all the beauty in yourself and in everything around you and be happy."

I don't think Mother's advice can be right, because what are you supposed to do if you become part of the suffering? You'd be completely lost. On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance. A person who's happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery!

~Anne Frank

tap into the past

It almost felt like the good old days when we loaded into the car and took off down the road. Flurries, almost a small blizzard, almost turned us back, but like the adventurers we were, we kept going.

First: a curb-side drop off at Mom and Dad’s. I had a mask for them, as well as a tub of disinfecting wipes. We visited from 10 feet away - I had to quelsh the urge to run over and hug them. I’m not a big hugger, but the desire was strong. It was almost harder to see them in person than talk on the phone - it felt unnatural to be so far away.

    Mom and Dad

Next was a curb-side pickup at Canadian Tire to get the kitchen faucets that we’d ordered. Both kitchen sink taps are acting up and it’s just a matter of time before they fully fubar so we want to be prepared. Once the restrictions are off we’ll get a plumber in to install them along with a few other bits of work. Our current taps were installed when we built the house in 1994 so they’ve done a good service.

Our route home took us past FreshCo and since that part of the grocery list was getting longer Carm donned his protective gear and entered the dragon’s lair. I felt terrible sending him in to do battle with an invisible enemy while I sat useless in the car. Also, the problem with sending him alone, with just a paper list, is that I am never certain what he’ll get… or how much… 

I put down macaroni on the list, which to me is the little elbow pasta and nothing else. Well, to him, an Italian, it means any short pasta so he bought tons of rigatoni and rotini. Seriously… tons. And no macaroni! I want to make my Mom’s Hungarian Goulash from my childhood - comfort food at its best. I think the rotini will substitute just fine. Note to self: ask Mom for the recipe.

Anyone want to come over for corned beef and cabbage? I have a stack of corned beef in the freezer that is threatening to topple over! Considering I’ve only made it 3 times in my life we are well provisioned! Do you have any good recipes for corned beef and pasta?

     great grandparents on my Dad’s side

    with my great grandmother on my Mom’s side. I think I have a faint memory of this visit.

No cooking for me tonight aside from some asparagus in the actifry, instead we had cheese fondue to use up the other loaf of bread I baked yesterday. Easy peasy.

Headline tonight: More deaths in Canada so far than were forecast.  676,339 cases, with 34,552 deaths in the US. There are a total of 29,929 (28,379 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,191 (1,010 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Of course there must be lots of Magic in the world," he said wisely one day, "but people don't know what it is like or how to make it. Perhaps the beginning is just to say nice things are going to happen until you make them happen. I am going to try and experiment.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett

pretty in pink

A bit of snow dusted the grass this morning when I let the dogs out, but the sun was shining! Oh hurrah, how I love a blue sky. Maybe that’s why blue features heavily in my life. 

Pink used to be my colour, but I o’d on it years ago. The whole house was painted pink, every single wall. I loved the calm feeling it gave me. On a sunny day the great room felt like it was bathed in the light from a perfect summer sunrise. Almost everything else was pink as well: towels, dishes, pillows, sheets… everything. Our house could have featured in a mocking facebook post. People must have thought I was nuts! And I was! I loved it for almost 20 years and then suddenly, like a switch was flipped, I hated it. Most of the pink has vanished.

I made 2 new recipes today: Wild Rice soup with mushrooms & chicken and Artisan bread. The soup was a mashup of a few different recipes and turned out pretty well with a lovely wild rice flavour (well, duh). I should have thickened it with a roux. Next time. I wasn’t sure what the bread would be like as it is a no-knead recipe and I don’t have enough different breads under my belt to guess. I followed the instructions carefully and was pleased that it turned out so well with a chewy texture. It was an easy 5/5 and will be a favorite going forward. One packet of precious yeast yielded 2 smallish loaves.

Headline tonight: Over one thousand deaths in Canada.  643,508 cases, with 28,506 deaths in the US. There are a total of 28,379 (26,897 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,010 (898 yesterday) deaths to date.

“One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands out and throws one's head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one's heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun--which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone's eyes.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett,

rolling on the floor

The trees howled last night as the wind lashed them in fury. At times I wondered if the whole house would be shaken from its foundation. Thankfully when I woke up this morning it was still well seated and there wasn’t a yellow brick road leading up to the door.

Carm was up super early as he was playing the role of big game hunter today. It is grocery day and this is the week for Costco. Armed with sanitizing gel, hand wipes and a mask, he ventured into the city. The list was long and unfortunately he wasn’t able to get everything - no diced tomatoes (I’m using a few cans a week making soup!), or pasta, could be found. Maybe the grocery store will have some next week.

He also stopped at a hardware parts store for a curb-side pickup of replacement fridge door shelves. The other day I opened the door to a crash as one shelf broke into smithereens. These days our fridge is pretty full so we need the space!

Do you find that as the days of isolation go on the urgency has diminished? I’m not sure if it’s that social distancing has become normalized, or if I have the feeling that it has to end soon, there aren’t that many deaths. We are still being careful, nothing has changed there, but it feels less serious. (on a note, Carm just said it’s a bad day for Canada with 118 deaths so far). Scratch that thought.

And now for something completely different… I must have been in the mood for laughing. I watched a few sets of stand-up comedy this afternoon and at times I was laughing so hard the tears were running down my face and I had to run to the loo! It felt good, although there were moments when I was almost out of control and wondered if the laughter was really just sobbing in disguise. Seriously though. There was some pretty funny stuff!

And just to have a photo in my post: me with the gardening great grandparents.

Headline tonight: Over 2 million known cases worldwide.  611,156 cases, with 25,924 deaths in the US. There are a total of 26,897 (25,680 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 898 (780 yesterday) deaths to date.

“Whatever comes," she said, "cannot alter one thing. If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.”

~Frances Hodgson Burnett