reflections

 It is a glorious day! The sun is sparkling on pillows of freshly fallen snow. I couldn’t imagine a prettier scene to grace a Christmas card. Stepping outside I imagined myself walking around in an unshaken snow globe and with a slip on the ice the globe tilted!

Carm wielded the heavy snowblower up and down the laneway while I had the lesser job of shovelling the back deck. In the summer I had some thoughts of how we could rebuild the deck, making it bigger… somehow that fantasy has turned into a potential nightmare when I think how much longer it would take to clear it of snow. But do we have to shovel it? Why do we keep it clear? It’s not like we are hanging out back there!

Like a lot of people, the New Year is a time to reflect on what was and what is to come. I started by reading old blog posts from the turn of each year since 2010 to jog my memory of where I have been mentally thru the last decade. The progression has been slow but upward. Last year I wrote that I was better than I’d ever been… I will say the same this year only even more betterer! Aside from the handful of pills I take everyday it would be easy to believe that I’m not bipolar at all. 

Of course it’s easy to say this sitting in a sun spot after time outside in a wonderland and having had 2 cookies and a coffee with eggnog. 

The pandemic has certainly been a challenge for wellness. It’s been exactly the sort of thing that would have sent me into a tailspin and likely a long depression. Well, I had my days (as you know having had to endure the lament), but not as many as I would have expected. I worked hard at keeping myself out of the doldrums, and with more creativity, than I ever have and it paid off. 

So while it’s been a challenge there is lots of positive that’s come from covid. The main thing of course is that I’ve learned more coping strategies. I’ve also developed a better relationship with my brother which is awesome. And thanks to the bubble idea we had a fantastic camp at Kirsten’s this fall.

I won’t detail the bad as I’m sure you know all too well…

"There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.”

~Alexandre Dumas