After a sleepless night this morning I started gathering photos and memories to write a memorial post but I can’t yet. I wish it weren’t true and that he wasn’t gone - it seems unbelievable at times - but then I walk into a room and he isn’t looking at me with bright eyes and pricked ears and the truth socks me in the gut.
What is it about crying? What is the evolutionary benefit of having red swollen eyes and a nose full of snot?
When we got home yesterday Carm got busy with the shovel to craft Spike’s final resting spot. It was a miracle of sorts that the ground wasn’t frozen. After that we basically tore the house apart, moving furniture to the basement, collecting dog beds, moving crates, rolling up scatter rugs. So much stuff for a little dog. It was something to do and cleared the house of reminders. Well, not really but at least we aren’t in the midst of a palliative care home.
A saviour in the form of my lovely sister, Kirsten, darkened our doorway last night, overnight bag in hand. We cried, we laughed, we remembered pets' current and pets' past. She helped ease the grief for a little while.
I did get a nice treat today: new and awesome headphones! While waiting for the delivery I felt quite certain that I couldn’t listen to music today but somehow the headphones are on my head with Michael Buble singing Christmas carols.
As some sort of blessing, the sun was out strongly today and the temps were above freezing.
Spike wasn’t perfect by any means and was way too serious in his approach to life (I blame myself for that). He was often standoffish except with Jo Ellen and Mom who were his two favourite people aside from us. He was reactive to other dogs. He never destroyed anything including his stuffed toys. He was quiet and well behaved and was generally a good companion. He loved to learn new tricks and even more, he loved showing off his tricks. He was an ambassador for dogs helping people overcome their fear of dogs. He brought my socks to me every day for years. He was a hunter. He was a poser as evidenced in the multitude of photos you’ll see over the next few days. He was not simply a dog.
He was a beloved part of our small family, I wouldn’t say he was a surrogate child but he was definitely more than ‘just a dog’. There will be a gaping whole where he once stood.
Awesome!
“sunny day”
“Kirsten”
“Adia checking me out when I’m crying”
“buying a cookie press and finding out it was half price”
Our hearts are with you both. So sorry to hear about Spike. From what I just read, when I retire I am considering to get a nice dog like Spike. Thank you for posting this.
ReplyDeleteLaura, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I remember Spike and how much you and Carm cared for and loved him. You were always talking about him and no question he was part of your family. It is so hard to say goodbye and so I hope you and Carm are able to reflect on all the good memories he brought into your lives during this tough time.
ReplyDeleteOur sympathies in the loss of your dearest Spike. He was the cutest, smartiest, bossiest, gentleman ever. He ruled the roost and everyone loved him. I know you are both devastated at the loss. He is memorialized in my book Out Of The Ashes We Rise where you tell the story of taking him to work with you as a mental health aide. The photo that accompanies the story really shows him at his best. He can also be seen in a video on the Client Advisory Council of Champlain's website showing off one of his famous tricks - fetching your socks to your exclaiming "Spike my feet are cold". He was a champ and will be remembered and loved forever.
ReplyDeleteSincerely, Cathey and Steve
We read your eulogy for Spike and it brought tears to our eyes.
ReplyDeleteWe did not know Spike, but the love you had for him and he for you is obvious. David said he has had many dogs during his life and yet he remembers each one as though they were alive yesterday. You never forget them. Our sympaties are with you.