all good things come to an end

 Friday… The clock ticks loudly on the back wall of the camper, each tick bringing us closer to the end of our season at Kirsten’s. The rain stopped yesterday leaving a day + for the ground to harden up before we try to get the beast out of its deep trench. We’ve done some initial prep - Grace’s outdoor cage is in the shed, carpets are swept and rolled… everything else has to wait until we are almost ready to hitch and roll out of here.

The last few days have been a trial for me… Monday night I dropped my lithium down again, this time to ¼ of what I was originally on. I’m not sure if it was that or something else but my mood spiralled into an abyss of doom. Only by force of will did I get out of bed although I did spend a ‘certain’ amount of time reading trashy novels in bed... I tried my usual tricks but nothing worked - I felt mentally sick, almost like I couldn’t go on.

While my brain is acting up it is hard for me to remember that the bad feelings will pass - it seems that I’ll be miserable forever and that seems too hard to bear… This morning when I opened my eyes I knew it was going to be a better day. The sun was (is) shining and it’s quite warm at 14C. I didn’t have an overwhelming sense of doom. It is going to be okay.

As I got into the truck for the drive here I felt the edge of ‘peaceful easy feeling’ slipping in to fill the dark spot.

Saturday… Home. For the winter. 8 long months. But it’s best not to focus on the sadness but to look forward to a winter of cosy candlelight suppers and gathering with friends around a flickering fire.

First though! Our cruise is coming up in a month so it’s time to try on clothes to see what still fits (maybe everything as I’ve lost 12 pounds this year!). Maybe I’ll squeeze in a shopping trip with Kirsten for some new threads.

Awesome!

“the bright yellow tree on the edge of the lawn - it’s like a stand of sunshine even on a rainy day”

“the drive down to the trailer was full of colour”

“the other tree at the end of the laneway that practically glows”

“Carm getting the trailer into the laneway perfectly!”