trudging

 We are finally, sort of, out of the winter drought… sure we've had lots of cloud but they have been barren of moisture. Of course it's great to have dry roads for weeks at a time, but the earth needs to drink! Fields and creeks need the melt water to quench the thirsty earth to prepare for sprouting seeds. We got about 10cm overnight - Carm was out with the snowblower before 11am - it's one of those jobs that are better done than waiting to be done!

We have been having bits of sun over the last several days, which of course is lovely, but somehow it's not been enough.

Today is another busy day prepping for a family lunch on Saturday to celebrate Dad's birthday… burnt sugar cake and another batch of gravy is on the to-do list today… not as ambitious a day as yesterday when I cooked a turkey, made ‘stuffing balls’ and gravy, and finally because I had some lemons to use up, a jar of preserved lemons! Wednesday I made Norwegian cardamom buns :-) 😀 

The preserved lemons will take 3 weeks to become usable but then! So many opportunities to add a blast of flavour :-)  Hopefully… goodness knows every recipe is not awesome and I have already spilled it twice.

One of the things I made yesterday was ‘stuffing balls’, which are basically balls of stuffing (ha ha!). I followed the recipe pretty much exactly - if I make them again I'll make a few changes: not so much pepper (way way less!) and smaller bread cubes from just regular sliced bread instead of using 3 fancy french loaves with chewy crusts. 

I'd saved this recipe ages ago so figured it would be an easy addition to a lunch with Christmas dinner overtones. They are a bit dry, and the bread cubes are too big, and the pepper is too strong. Hopefully heating them up with some gravy will save them. And on that note, I dug out the carcass from the last turkey to make broth - I'll make a giant pot of gravy today to drown them in!

Unfortunately every checkmark on my to-do list has been a herculean effort… I've got a heavy black dog dragging me down so everything is hard and it takes all my will power to accomplish each tiny step - I really just want to go back to bed with the covers over my head (I've succumbed a few times). It's been ages since I've been stuck in this awful place for so long, maybe even years. My emergency meds take the edge off, leaving me slightly stunned and a bit less miserable so I plod on… I just want it to end.

I suppose it's not all bad though - I have managed to walk a few hours with Kirsten! Oh, and we left the pets with Pat and stayed a night with Kirsten on Monday :-)  We had an in-person walk, a stand around supper of nibbles, and then watched ‘Barbie’! Lots of discussion about what the movie was trying to say and how it said it… we all agreed that at the very least the movie has started important conversations about equality.

My saviour is music! I'm playing all my favourites 😀 

We did toy with the idea of a cruise with friends but decided there were still too many unknowns to commit… I want to wait till Mom sees her doctors for her scan results (Thursday), and then I have a followup test for something mid March… and Christina has never stayed here so we felt that an 11 day first trial was too much! What if she finds Lupa a PITA! And honestly, I feel so crap that I can't even imagine going somewhere.

Awesome!

“fresh snow”

“visit with Kirsten”

“Lupa snuggled up against me”

“some rays of sunshine!”

“singing along to favourite songs”

“I feel good today… if I say it often enough will it come true?”

“an afternoon bubble bath with the sun streaming in and reflecting off the water”