done and dusted

 This afternoon is finally my last treatment so I'll be home free from appointments for 6 months or so… It's funny, but today I am having more mental trouble with the whole experience than anytime so far. It's like I've gotten through it (almost! just 2 more hours to go) so now I am out of doing mode and am now just reacting…

I get to ring the bell today but I'm not sure if I will - I feel like it's been so easy compared to other people that it just seems weird to celebrate - like what am I celebrating? But then I have to remember that it could have gone so much worse which is certainly something worth celebrating!

The hot weather broke a few days ago leaving us with sunshine and cooler temperatures - nice for running around to appointments and shopping, and with appointments these last few days, I'm not spending time outside anyway. And now we are getting heavy rainfall warnings for tomorrow night.

It has been a bit of a relief to not be fasting, so yesterday we treated ourselves to Wendy's frostys after my treatment - it seemed much kinder to my soul than gnawing on a cucumber… speaking of cucumbers, our plants, which were inundating us with the juicy vegetables, have petered out :-( The zucchini has slowed down too 😞 It's only the beginning of August! Hopefully the bit of cooler weather will get the plants flowering again otherwise, a disappointing harvest.

later on in the evening…

Well, it's done and dusted! Mom & Dad showed up as a surprise and so with them and Carm (who was choked up) cheering me on, I did ring it once or twice :-) I will admit to feeling a bit choked up myself and nearly broke down crying - it's like a huge stress was removed. And maybe there was a bit of reality of what could have been (and if I'm honest, what still could be). It's left me feeling deflated and exhausted, mentally, more than physically. 

Today's treatment was a super dose targeting the surgical site - it went on and on and on… they reminded me that the burn will start to get bad in the next two weeks so I'm not out of the woods yet, but maybe it won't be too bad.

So now summer can start!

Awesome!

“it's over!”

“Mom & Dad showing up at the hospital”