the failing of my mind

Sunday was one of those cuddle up on the couch to read and watch movies sort of day. The sky was grey, colouring everything with a murky gloom. I was feeling okay… until sometime in the afternoon… clonk… I think it happened in the tub with Leonard Cohen singing ‘Suzanne’. Maybe it was the gloom. Maybe it was the fact that I’m back in reality and have to get in the mood for cooking. Or maybe it was the failing of my mind.

I’ve had a few conversations with myself since, pep talks if you will. A litany of ‘I can do this’ is reverberating in my head. It might be working. Cooking seems like a possibility (easy stuff anyway), and company seems like a must do.

We struck out across the township today, partially to get me out, and also for some practical reasons. Monday is seniors day at the hair salon, so we both got shorn. Pasta sauce was on sale at a far away town and we thought lunch out might be nice. Got the sauce but lunch was a partial fail as out of the corner of my eye I saw KFC, which isn’t exactly lunch out but more an extravagant fail of crispy fat.

It helped… a bit. There is no sun in the forecast until Thursday so I’ll have to hang on until then.

“And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water

And he spent a long time watching from his lonely wooden tower

And when he knew for certain only drowning men could see him

He said all men will be sailors then until the sea shall free them

But he himself was broken, long before the sky would open

Forsaken, almost human, he sank beneath your wisdom like a stone”

~Leonard Cohen, Suzanne