school days

The snow blustered around me as I gripped Adia’s leash. Up and down the laneway we walked, waiting for her to puke up some ancient food/dog treats that she’d uncovered. Oh, it was our fault - we’d put it outside on the ground for the squirrels not thinking about her laser focused nose. To say she is food-driven would be a massive understatement.

Late this morning I caught her eating up the last crumbs so rushed her inside to grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide - 3 tablespoons for a dog her size - which is said to induce vomiting. This seemed like our best chance of avoiding hours of diarrhea. Unfortunately, either because the stuff was old, or maybe she’s one of the rare dogs it doesn’t work on, there was no vomit. She may also have gotten it early this morning when I let them out for their business…

So, we wait. I’ve cancelled my manicure appointment (way overdue), as I don’t want to take a chance of an accident while I’m gone. And to tell you the truth, all this thinking about puking has made me feel a little queasy.

Last night was Adia’s last class of Basic Good Manners I - it was fun with a bit of agility at the end. I’m not sure she’d be stellar - she sort of shut down on me after going over the jump several times - but it was fun, and maybe if we mixed it up and had better treats than kibble she’d start to like it. Later in the summer we’ll sign up for a class. After the rally-o class. And the BGM II class that starts next week.

Carm had to snowblow again - it’s been a weekly event for a few weeks!

These endless days of cloud and snow are starting to get to me. Flashes of rage pound themselves against Carm for the smallest infraction. Immense pleasure violently seesaws with gloom. I’m doing a pretty good job at fighting it, but I can feel the tendrils move within me. Looking back at what I wrote a few weeks ago, I can’t help but laugh - the words were obviously written by someone in the middle of mood states. It’s funny, no matter what I’m feeling, if I’m normal, hypo-manic, or depressed, I feel that I’m going to be stuck there forever. When I’m feeling good I feel confident that I’ll never feel bad again and that by the gift of extreme intelligence I’ve somehow worked it all out!

With Trudie & Leo gone for so long, and Jo Ellen & Don stuck at home, there aren’t enough dinner parties to keep me occupied. The whole burden has fallen on Pat’s shoulders. Thank goodness for the training I’m doing with Adia - that activity is rewarding and is what’s keeping me sane this winter. 

8:30 pm - no sign of stomach upsets for Adia… this is the dog who couldn’t eat a tiny piece of dried liver without immediate diarrhea…

“I am terrified by this dark thing

That sleeps in me;

All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.”

~Sylvia Plath