Glorious sunshine lit an impossibly blue sky today and departed leaving an orange stain on the horizon before darkness fell. It seemed that the day was a smidgen longer but that might have been my (forced) optimism.
I think my bipolar brain has gotten stuck in grief and denial. My meds protect against this aberrant behaviour but they aren’t a match for these stronger emotions. I’m not sure how to nudge my brain into acting like a normal person… perhaps upping some meds or maybe just riding it out. I’m scared that riding it out might just give my brain enough time to get sick again, but I’m reluctant to increase my official meds as the side effects are miserable.
Touch wood… Adia didn’t destroy anything today.
I did get onto the treadmill today for a few minutes which I count as a huge win :-) And we are having real food for supper!
New restrictions announced today… gatherings limited to 5. Omicron is ripping through the population causing an increased stress on the hospitals… again.
Awesome!
“outside in the glorious sun”
“watching a tv show on my tablet while walking on the treadmill”
“my amazing new headphones - they are the jam!”
“Dogs lives are short, too short, but you know that going in. You know the pain is coming, you're going to lose a dog, and there's going to be great anguish, so you live fully in the moment with her, never fail to share her joy or delight in her innocence, because you can't support the illusion that a dog can be your lifelong companion. There's such beauty in the hard honesty of that, in accepting and giving love while always aware that it comes with an unbearable price. Maybe loving dogs is a way we do penance for all the other illusions we allow ourselves and the mistakes we make because of those illusions.”
― Dean Koontz
No comments:
Post a Comment