buckets of zucchini

 Hold the boat! There are still a few smaller zucchini on the kitchen counter, but after trying to organize the freezer downstairs to corral all the packages of roasted zucchini that I've made over the summer… It seems that I've spent a lot of time over the last few months as there are at least 24 packages! No wonder everything was cascading to the floor every time we opened the door! So back to my original point… I'll maybe make zucchini cake tomorrow ;-)

Meanwhile, the freezer became even more disorganized and now I have to spend a couple of hours doing something about it… when I have the energy!

It took me until Friday to recover from the previous weekend excitement of bringing the trailer home, although getting flu & covid vaccines probably slowed down my recovery… even still, I don't feel fully energized yet, but that's really my new normal… 

I'm trying to figure out how to recover, sometimes getting it right, but other times pushing so hard that I crash. Somehow I have to walk the line between not enough and too much. It's not a straight line - it fluctuates based on how much I did the day before and how well I slept. It's a real learning experiment! I've been mostly taking it in stride without too much angst, but occasionally my bipolar brain misbehaves, letting frustration and despair take over my brain for a few hours… I'm always relieved to get through them on the right side of the grass…

It's been several years since my last psychiatrist retired and generally I'm okay but there are times it would be good to have someone to commiserate with who can guide me through the thinking needed to get past the tricky bits. I have been getting help through the CFS Health facebook pages as well as the videos that they put out - sometimes a video comes out at just the right time! Mindset is the most important yet trickiest part of recovery!

Online forums can be a mire of misery which seems to just drag people lower and lower, so I'm pretty careful with what I join. 

But on the plus side, I saw my doctor last week - he agreed that we'd try out a drug that might help with PEM, but I'll start it after we get back from our trip. He also suggested watching some of ‘the Physics Girl’ on YouTube about her illness - she has had cfs for a few years but is on the path to recovery. It's good to have my doctor on my side as I know some people are not so lucky with their doctors. He admitted that he doesn't know a lot about it which I totally appreciate, especially as he seems interested in learning more 😀 

I'm so grateful that I never became as ill as some people get! I partially credit that to my doctor, who at my second appointment said that it could be cfs and that I should stop exercising… up to that point I'd been pressing through - and that's what he said to do in the first appointment! … it also encouraged me to do some research on recovery - I think that without that change, I would have continued to get worse, but now I'm at least stable and even perhaps a bit better!

I'm getting pretty excited about our trip! In a week I might already have a sunburn!

Suitcases are laid out on the spare room bed all packed and ready to close as soon as I add the hanging clothes (will wait until Saturday!). I spent AT LEAST AN HOUR this morning searching for the two waterproof phone bags that we got last year but alas… I swear I looked everywhere twice and then Carm looked as well… finally, frustrated and needing to sit down for a minute I wracked my brain, I had a vague memory of sending them back, and sure enough - I checked amazon and yes, they were returned! Dooh!

The problem with these types of searches is that it reveals the depths of disorganization and chaos in the nooks and crannies of my house! I have a few jobs for the winter…

Today it's raining on and off, but the previous few days have been spectacular! Carm has been busy outside getting the last of everything settled for the winter - I hang out on the bench near the garden and throw kibble for the dogs to search for in the long grass while he does the heavy work. They love this game and have gotten much more skilled at tracking down the nuggets.

I feel so useless!

This afternoon Carm headed off on a trek to the other side of the city to get a new golf club! His last game of the year is coming up on Friday - I think he said it will be round #50!

Awesome!

“suitcases almost packed”

“in one week I'll be sitting by the ocean!”

“so many beautiful October days”

“Adia & Lupa recovered from their dental”

viletta tucked in for winter

 The sun is blazing again today, much like yesterday when we brought the trailer home. We spent Saturday night at the trailer - a last bonus hurrah before the long long winter… It was a cold night, but it warmed up quickly Sunday morning, making our getaway uneventful (and not soaking wet like it would have been last week!). The drive home was uneventful with very little traffic and as a bonus Carm got the trailer into the laneway in one shot! 

It was a busy weekend and I'm suffering for it today… but I know I'll get through it if I take it easy and get lots of rest today. My brain is addled and my body is protesting, but my mood is good! Christina came for a visit this morning which really brightened up my day. 

Carm is still getting rounds of golf a few times a week! 

Welp… that's about all I can manage today. My brain is not operating at a very high level! 

Awesome!

“viletta safely in the laneway for the winter”

“perfect back in to the laneway”

“sunny day”

two turkeys

 The sound of raindrops lulled me into a comfortable doze… I'd been awake since 5am but stayed snuggled under the covers for a few hours, dozing in and out of a weird half awake, half dream state with spikes of anxiety about the day. Lupa was pressed against my side, a nice little lump of heat. Finally at around 8am, Kirsten rolled by with the garbage bin which set off a flurry of barking. It was time to get up!

We had plans to bring the trailer home today, but after looking at the weather for today and going forward, we decided to come home without the trailer and bring it home another day. There's a night at zero or possibly just below zero on the weekend so maybe we'll get it then. The days till the first snowfall are rapidly passing and with our trip looming on the horizon, we'd like to get it settled and winterized.

There are a few big jobs to get done before we leave, but we can get a head start on some of them before the trailer comes home so at least we won't be behind the 8 ball! (is that even a saying and what exactly does it mean?).

The house was… shall we say, cold… when we got home so after unpacking, Carm set a fire which has taken the chill out of the air. I'm still bundled up in fluffy pyjamas topped with my special quilt. Lupa is glued to my side but her heat isn't radiating far!

We arrived at Kirsten's on Friday afternoon, ready for a full weekend of celebrations. Friday night Kirsten and Shawn came over for supper (just a simple chili with beans, cauliflower, tofu, all drowned in Franks Red Hot sauce. Next up, Saturday: Thanksgiving dinner with Kirsten's family (obviously since we were there!), Mom & Dad, Olaf & Steph, Ted & Marion (the magicians), Shenna’s friend Emma, and of course Shenna & Nissa's ‘young men’! 

It was a feast as usual! Kirsten managed the whole thing with me contributing what I could make ahead of time… the stuffing balls were a big hit again - they are 100% worth the effort! We ate cardamom buns for days, and I froze half a cake. Mom brought turnip and a few cakes, including her most amazing carrot cake.

I was a bit of help on the day, but I was carefully managing my energy… as it was, I failed! and suffered on Sunday… Sitting in a giant armchair in the kitchen as everyone swirled around getting the last minute things done was not the greatest. I felt so useless… it would have been really awful, but Kirsten kept me in the loop, asking for advice which made me feel included. After we ate, I had to remove myself from the festivities and crashed on the sofa. I could hear the festivities going on in the next room which left me feeling both left out and included! But really, I was just grateful to have somewhere to put my head down!

I suffered on Sunday, but not as badly as I could have. I tried to take lots of rest breaks (well, I say tried, but honestly I had to!), between visiting everyone. Mom, Dad, Olaf, Steph left mid afternoon… Juliette & Erik came not long after so we had a second thanksgiving with leftovers, and a tray of focaccia with a spread with goats cheese, caramelised onion & figs. 

Sunday afternoon Carm drove home as he had golf on Monday, while I stayed back for another night in the viletta! Must get every last night in! He came back Monday afternoon, by which time I felt pretty much fully recovered from Saturday. This morning I felt great again, although when we got home I crashed on the sofa for the rest of the day… 

Over the weekend, Kirsten and I walked the dogs several times a day, had them in the field a few times, and drank scads of coffee while we visited. It was a great weekend for both siblings and puppy cousins!

Awesome!

“two perfect turkeys”

“dogs running in the field”

“family gatherings”

“Olaf's new blue hotsauce”

“getting safely home after driving for an hour in the pouring rain”