around the field we went

Pink still coloured the sky when we got up this morning - we were awake early and were blessed with a SUNNY DAY! Hurrah. I could feel the energy from the sun coursing through my veins, waking up my muscles and invigorating my brain. I know I've lamented about the lack of sunshine this winter so any little ray is celebrated and cherished.

It is bloody cold!

A snowy laneway was on Carm's mind so he guzzled down a cup of coffee and then bundled up for his heroic efforts in getting the snow tamed. I think overall we had at least 20cm and probably closer to 25cm fall yesterday and overnight. If I were just a tiny bit more energetic I'd dig out my snowshoes 😀, however I just got off the treadmill after walking close to 6 miles. It was 'walk with June' day today and we had lots to catch up on, including our travel plans! It's time to start making reservations for museums etc - I'll get on that right way.

The dogs had their nail appointment this morning so we braved the snow covered roads - there is a thick layer of white ice everywhere - well, Carm says it wasn't ice, but I say it was! We bundled the dogs up in winter coats for the outing and pre-heated the car. Brrrr…

Oh! I figured out what the 'f' meant in my log… it is short for 'field' which means I walked around the hay field with the dogs - I must have been pretty inactive if I thought that was worth noting! But the proof is there - I was a slug that year. I took a look back in my records and my blog and saw that I was having lots of issues which turned out to be a slight overdose of lithium. Once that was sorted my energy was back. Ridiculous to realize that it took me months to get to the bottom of it!

Awesome!

"beautiful snow covered trees against a clear blue sky"

"yogurt and fruit after fasting"

"a bite of habitant split pea soup"

"a sunspot on the sofa"

half as long

The snow is falling, obliterating the bits of ground that had been exposed by the few above freezing days. Carm is outside tackling what's been dropped in the first half of the storm, trying to get ahead of the game. Breaking it into two efforts will be easier on the snowblower… and the man operating it! He gets his exercise doing productive things while I'm relying on the treadmill to get my blood flowing. When we built the new back deck, we stopped shoveling it which is a nice break for me but I could probably use the extra exercise!

Hallmark was my distraction on the treadmill today. I'm feeling much stronger every day and managed the whole 90 minute walk at 5% incline! Lots of sweat and my legs are like rubber! Thankfully, there's nothing like a predictable love story to distract me… now the question is 'what do I distract myself with for the rest of the day'. I really have to stay off of social media as the news is getting out of hand and scarier by the hour. I just can't take it today…

Yesterday we travelled into the city for dentist appointments. I needed to have a crown re-glued on and we both had cleanings scheduled. My stress level for sitting in the dentist chair has reduced to almost nothing since changing to Dr. Racicot. I don't know if you remember, but I had a lot of trauma with the dentist in the village - she was a butcher who left me crying in the chair the last time I saw her… Dr. Racicot however is gentle and professional. He explains everything that he's doing and has the touch to take the discomfort away. I'd recommend him to anyone who stresses about dentist visits!

We were lucky with the weather too! It was above freezing with a little bit of rain thrown in which meant the roads were bare although wet. We took the opportunity to hit up Costco on our way home so don't have to go out for anything for a few days - luckily as the roads are snow covered today.

Cato and Bailey have settled in well but are clearly missing Ruth and John. There's been lots of worry about Ruth as her recovery is not going well… she had to have an extra emergency surgery yesterday and has been massively struggling since. We don't know much about what is going on, but what little news we have gotten isn't positive. 

Last night while I was in bed with Ruth on my mind, I heard Bailey give a long and weird cry which to be honest, scared the sh?& out of me. I was beside myself with worry about Ruth and he seemed to be as well. I started thinking about energy and connections, envisioning a strand of energy connecting us to our loved ones… it seems that sometimes we know things without having been told, not in words perhaps, but a feeling and I wondered if his connection to Ruth was unstable causing him to cry out his loss.

So I sit here watching the snow come down, listening to the drone of the snowblower hoping that today will be a better day…

I read something the other day and I wish I had saved it - it was about knowing when the last time something happens, like the last time Trudie & Leo were here, or we had supper with them at their house - I didn't know that those things would never happen again and wish that I had given those times my full attention and appreciation. If ever there was a lesson on remembering to live in the moment to experience those 'last times', even when you can't know that it would be the last time…  

It's been 15 years (fifteen YEARS) since we retired but I still need to get my database fix on a regular basis. Yesterday I lamented that my android database product isn't as functional as the old data dictionary/repository that was my domain… I put a certain amount of effort in making sure documentation was consistent and up to date which sometimes meant exporting, data massaging, then importing back in place… my MobiDB software isn't great at this although I can sort of fudge it for some things. I was putting together a 'roll-up' table of several years of exercise & mood data and realized that for a few years I entered a '0' in the field when I didn't do anything, but really, for reporting and analysis reasons (omg - is this another sort of mental illness?), it would be better to be a null value. There was no way to do a bulk update, so I edited several hundred entries BY HAND. Yes, this is my insanity! But now I have nice clean data :-) Mostly…

When I enter my exercise field, I use codes like: 60 t, 5 b, 20 r - which means 60 minutes on the treadmill, 5 minutes on the bike, and 20 minutes with resistance exercises… clear as day right (ha ha)... in one of the years I'd also used an 'f'. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS! And there are no clues from any of the other fields in the recordDooh! Any guesses?

I just realized that I've been retired half as long as I worked!!! What sort of madness is that and how the heck could so much time have gone by?

Awesome!

"pretty snowfall"

"movies on the treadmill"

"no snowstorm when we had to drive into the city"

"hot tea on a snowy afternoon"

"nulls instead of zeros"

halfway thru january

Here we are, almost at the halfway point of January… the weather has been all over the place with some sort of precipitation most days - today it's raining a bit. Carm has snowblowed 5 times (at least) so far in 2026! We've had bitter cold and a balmy 7C. There has been very little sun. Last November and December I counted 4 measly days where I wrote 'sun' in my log! Boo hiss and it's not much better so far in 2026.

They've been perfect days for hibernation! I find that winter is best when expectations are low and travel is limited. Pre covid we used to entertain at least once a week and often more than that but we got out of the habit during all the lockdowns and we've never gotten back on track. These days it's more like once or twice a month! Our regular visits were with Trudie & Leo, but now they've moved 25 minutes away (they were next door), and Trudie is having health issues that make it difficult for them to come out. Now that she can't do any stairs at all it's likely that they've been here for the last time.

It hits hard when written out like that…

I was 'chatting' with a friend and she asked me about how I got through my grief when Spike passed. I guess Time would be the biggest factor but certainly getting a crazy puppy that didn't give me a moment's rest certainly played a part! Spike passed on the 11th of December and by January 19th we had Lupa… I realized that I was slipping into a darker mood, which in retrospect was partially due to it being winter, but I was too scared to take a chance on something worse so I started my search for a puppy. 

Lupa was a challenge on so many levels, partially due to my expectations that she'd be like Spike - she wasn't AT ALL like him! She was a destructive whirling dervish! He died with his puppy stuffed toys in good condition. So that was depressing and made me miss him even more, but as the first month passed, she wriggled (chewed & bit is more accurate) her way into my heart and eased my sadness a bit. And then there is the balm of time passing.

I have hundreds, perhaps thousands, of photos of Spike so of course they come up in my memories often. At first they'd make me feel a bit sad, but now I smile with fond memories. The end was inevitable - after all dogs only live 10-16 years - his last year or two was fraught with worry as dementia slowly overcame his mind. It was heartbreaking watching him walk circles in the living room at night as he was so confused. I was heartsick watching him fail physically. There was so much angst wondering when was the right time to help him on his way… how demented did he have to be? How would I know? So in the end, his passing was a blessing - he was finally at peace, as was I.

I was so lucky to have him. All of our pets are special but some touch our hearts more deeply. I was reading some old blog posts about him the other day and laughed at his shenanigans. Oh how he loved getting my socks! He loved 'find it' where I'd take a visitor's sock and hide it somewhere in the house - Spike would run off sniffing until he found the missing item - he never failed and was so proud! And there was the time he picked up this little bag that I used for training him and dropped it at Carm's feet - it was his way of reminding us that we'd forgotten to give them breakfast!

It's still the depths of winter, but as the sun is slowly but surely lengthening the day, my energy is also slowly coming back. I don't feel in as dark a place as I did a few weeks ago. I still find that my strength is limited - I can do the treadmill but I'm not left with tons of energy left over. But! I've walked 50miles/80km so far this year!!! And I haven't missed a day yet! But getting downstairs to do some weights still seems impossible…

My motivation for anything else is pretty low still… A good indication of mood and energy is my food log - when there's lots of easy suppers I know that I'm struggling, but lately I've been actually cooking! Tonight we had a curried butternut squash soup (leftover from NYE - in the freezer of course!), and I boiled then smashed & roasted some baby potatoes with a bit of parm. They were actually pretty good and I'll make them again :-)

I'm hoping that motivation gears up even more as I have great plans of going through the junk in the basement but only got as far as picking up an empty box before I was overwhelmed… maybe next week… There are a few things that I could easily grab to take to the thrift store so maybe that's where I'll start.

Awesome!

"cooked cabbage"

"little grey dog curled against my legs"

"watching Lupa stick her head into the deep snow as she tried to track some creature"

"the sun when it does break through the clouds"

"clear roads"

"a good haircut"