Friday, August 7, 2020

blood bath

 I was standing at the kitchen counter preparing some chocolate chip cookies for the oven when I heard the front door being flung open and Carm crying out “I need your help, something bad has happened…”. My stomach did a flip. When I turned around I was shocked to see his whole face streaming with blood. My stomach dropped and I took a big breath . I would have liked to freak out at that point, but what good would that do, so I collected my emotions and got him to the sink so I could wash away the blood and take stock.

He’s got a big (1-2 in) gash just back from his forehead in his hair which may or may not need stitches. The heavy bleeding stopped quickly and since it’s not gaping we figured he’d be okay. 


And how did this misadventure happen? Cutting the grass under the apple trees. I think a heavy hat and eye protection will be used in the future.


Can you believe it’s Friday again? I’ve said this every Friday for 20 weeks now. A bit repetitive but I’m always so shocked that another week has gone by so quickly. Time has not stopped, even though it would be great if it did.


CBC put out a survey asking people how they’ve managed during the pandemic; after giving it some thought I chose the smiley face icon as I feel that for the most part I’ve managed quite well. I read an essay by Rick Steves (the travel guy) about how it felt to be stuck at home and how he’s embraced the opportunity to learn new skills and visit local sites, and I suppose that’s what I’ve done (to a lesser degree).


We had our first bacon & tomato sandwiches tonight, thanks to a bag of tomatoes from Trudie. We’d been there for a distant visit this afternoon and she told me her recipe for garlic sauce… I gave it a whirl when we got home but it was an epic fail. First I used a fragrant olive oil that overpowers the flavour, then it wouldn’t whip up so I ended up throwing in an egg white which is my go-to sauce recipe. It may end up in the compost heap. But the tomatoes were good, and who can complain about bacon!



 Headline tonight: 5,094,759 cases with 164,075 deaths in the US. There are a total of 118,984 (118,514 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 8,970 (8,966 yesterday) deaths today.



“A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.”

Leo Tolstoy

Thursday, August 6, 2020

dig a whole hole

Today was a better day although an early morning wake up left me feeling a bit bleary for much of the day. We were expecting a service person from Shaw, our satellite tv company, as we’ve been having trouble with our signal - you might recall that we ‘trimmed’ and ‘felled’ a few trees a few weeks ago. Alas, we’ll have to move the dish away from the house.


We took a trip into the village to pick up some supplies for installing a new post - apparently the lumber yard was barren, so even if we wanted to update our deck we’d be SOL. Once home the digging started. I stood around batting my eyes, offering water and generally being a pain. Adia rocketed around, tiring before Carm.



Before he fell to the ground in exhaustion - the ground is seriously hard and just about pure clay so it’s pretty hard work to extract each handful - ‘we’ stopped for a rest and a swim. The water was barely 24C so refreshed rather quickly. It felt wonderful!



The rest did its job and refreshed Carm enough to have another round with the shovel. Six more inches of heavy clay was removed before he stopped for supper. 


Spike’s jumping around like he did when he was young, except he misses and crashes to the floor, he tried getting on the futon again and once there jumped around and basically fell off. It’s heartbreaking. Now he’s cuddled up to Adia with his head resting on her side. 



 Headline tonight: 5,028,027 cases with 162,708 deaths in the US. There are a total of 118,514 (118,187 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 8,966 (8,962 yesterday) deaths today.



“All happiness depends on courage and work.”

~Honoré de Balzac

Wednesday, August 5, 2020

selfish

A bit more rain this morning. The hayfield is gloriously green and (sadly), the lawn has grown and will need to be cut soon. Carm had a long break this summer from the heinous chore but alas… 


The power came back last night just before midnight. I felt slightly guilty for a moment that everyone around us was in the dark while we just carried on with our lives as if nothing had happened.


caught in the act


Last week at Costco I’d purchased 2 t-shirts that were made of recycled plastic and after a trial wear decided that I liked them enough to get another two… so… we braved the crowds (and there were crowds). I found the tops (no longer on sale) and looked at a few other things before I was driven off by pushy women coming into my space. We had some groceries to pick up as well.


Once home it was clear that the weather would be suitable for laneway visits so I tossed a message off to Pat and a phone call to Trudie. I only had a short period of time to prep for tonight's supper (Creamy Mushroom Pasta which was da bomb) before I had to dash out to get the chairs arranged. Pat got there first and we had a good hour or more to catch up before Trudie & Leo arrived. It’s nice to feel a slight bit of normality.



I took advantage of sitting in one spot for a while to practice Adia with her ‘mat’ command. She did well although I did reinforce periodically with tiny pieces of hotdog or chicken heart. 


Just before I turned the lights off last night I read an article that referenced Dr. Tam and her assertions that we could be under restrictions for a few years. The next article talked about Doug Ford’s thoughts that our social circles will stay at 10 into next year. I would be a liar if I said I felt blessed with good fortune at that point. I was UPSET… I felt dejected, ripped off, angry, defeated, sad all at the same time. I thought about all the plans I had for Adia this year, all the classes I wanted to take with her, the competitions I wanted us to enter. I thought about how I wanted her to become a therapy dog and we’d go into retirement homes.


That is all kaput. Not even on the back burner, but kaput. I’ve felt no purpose for a few years and this was something that I could glom onto so it was such a disappointment to have my hopes crushed. As the clock ticked towards midnight I was selfish and only thought of myself. Carm reminded me how good I have it - how horrible it could be - but I didn’t care. 


I lay in bed for ages thinking about all this, eventually burning through the bad thoughts, getting back to the point where I again feel thankful for my good fortune. (to be honest though there’s a little bit of me that’s still feeling ripped off).


Am I wrong to forget about my luck every now and again? How do you keep your positive outlook when things seem bleak? I thank my lucky stars that I have an illness that has forced me to learn how to manage my thoughts and feelings and that I’m not rudderless like so many others.



 Headline tonight: 4,973,317 cases with 161,581 deaths in the US. There are a total of 118,187 (117,792 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 8,962 (8,958 yesterday) deaths today.



“Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.”

~Daniel Goleman