melting brain

 It's another scorcher! I think it's the hottest day yet and here I am, freshly out of the pool and clean from my outdoor shower. I had a good workout today - I felt stronger than I have for a while…  I'm in bliss! Peaceful easy feeling washes over me whenever I take a moment to be grateful for life. It's hard to be unhappy these days!

Yesterday was our 36th anniversary! We went out for supper with Julie & Peter, Ken & Francine, just to the Works for burgers. Somehow the Keg seemed like too big of a slab of meat. Julie & Peter got married on the same day we did, all those years ago! 

Looking back over those 36 years, it seems like it's been a very gentle rollercoaster ride and as the years pass, it just keeps getting better and smoother. Every obstacle that we've faced together has strengthened our relationship - I feel lucky to go through life with someone who has my back and is there when I need him most. He never fails to show up on my dark days. 

I think the heat is melting my brain and making me maudlin! 

I just recently discovered k.d. lang and I feel like I've missed out on her beautiful voice all these years! I saw a youtube video of an opera singer watching her sing ‘Hallelujah’ for the first time - he was blown away and went over some of the highlights and how they show such tremendous talent. I believe Leonard Cohen said that she sung it best!

okay… it's f'n hot out today! I'm sweating already and am not sure if I'll be able to spend the afternoon outside 😱  Maybe I need to get the fan out. The crazy thing is my body does not like the heat and I can start feeling sick pretty fast if I can't get cool. I've always been like that but some of my medications made it worse, however,  I love the heat and there are only a few things that feel more awesome than getting hot and cooling down in the pool… summers would suck pretty hard for me without it. A lake or ocean would be nice too :-)

So while I'm ‘suffering’ in the heat, Carm is suffering in the dentist chair - which is downtown in the city, so not only does he have to endure a filling, he also has to battle horrendous traffic to get there and home.

Humidex is 41 at 1:30pm… forecast to be 43 by 3pm when we take the dogs to get their nails trimmed. Yikes - two dogs in a hot car…

Oh, I have to ask you a favour… a few months ago I got a tub of creatine to add to my morning protein shake… it's supposed to be good for muscle growth, and a bunch of other good things, however! Some brief research revealed that it triggers hypomania for some people… am I one of those people? At the time I wasn't ready to risk it since I was going through so much on the tamoxifen. Well, the other day I did some more research, this time going beyond the one study. There are lots (it seems) of people that have no trouble at all, some felt just a tiny boost in mood and energy, although there were a few people that did trigger a stronger response… so… I'm giving it a try but will be on the lookout for mood changes. If you notice that my writing seems a little ‘out there’, please let me know! (I know I'm blathering on more than usual, but I only started taking it yesterday so there would be no effect yet - the people who it affected, didn't start to see changes for 2 weeks… so it’s just my normal spectrum).

I'm not too worried as I've got a strong habit of checking in with myself… but sometimes I am too paranoid and freak out at the smallest change… and surely having some days with more energy would be considered normal? I've spent so many years in a bit of a daze and struggle with energy most days, mostly triggered by my meds… I'll take it day by day and rely heavily on Carm to be a bellwether.

… past supper time… the deck has been ‘put to bed’ for the next few days - there's lots of rain in the forecast tomorrow and if I'm honest, a little break from the sun is a good thing! I'll spend the morning getting Lupa trimmed up and the afternoon with my parents 😀 

Awesome!

“36 good years”

“sweat”

“stretching out on my deck chair, feeling like a cat in a sunspot”

“peaceful easy feeling”

“burgers with friends”

“my little corner of paradise”