weep and fret

I’m taking a break from my writing assignment - it is mostly done, just needs some spit and polish. Since I’ve been living and breathing it for hours I have to take a little break away so that I can see its flaws. This was a hard one. Between brain fog, and total lacek of creativity, I struggled. It took me ages to figure out where I wanted the story to go - it took me ages more to get it there.

Friday night the world was shocked by what happened in Paris. My hearts go out to those people affected by all the violence this past week. CNN ran it constantly so we watched (what seemed like) hours of coverage before I escaped to the bedroom. I couldn't take it anymore. Some people can watch the news while still staying remote. Not me. I can't stop myself from being in the car crash, or bombing, or other attack. I think about what I would do and how terrifying it would be. I live it. Unfortunately "un living it" is harder to do…

Saturday we moved Carm’s mom’s furniture into her room at the retirement home she's moving into. She started with a two week trial and loved it, so she's staying. We fit quite a bit of furniture into her studio apartment - it looks very homey. We are all thrilled to see her happy and not as lonely as she was. She’s thriving in the more social atmosphere. She's got early/mid stages of Alzheimer's but since she's been there we've seen a marked improvement. Perhaps some of her memory problems were caused by loneliness and isolation.

After we finished getting her home set up, Crystal Lodge invited us to stay for the lunch. Well. I'd be pretty happy to be served up meals everyday like the one we got yesterday. No wonder everyone in the place is always smiling!

It was 4pm when we got home and I was exhausted. My brain was totally fried. A sleepless night and all the activity had done me in. I wanted to be surrounded by ponies and rainbows. We watched 'Unfinished Song' (aka 'Marions song') which was a good movie, but more heavy rainfall than rainbows.

I'm trying not to think about it, but when I look out the window at what can only be a November sky (no other month has quite that shade of grey) it is hard not to be pulled down. A little bit of sunshine PLEASE!

"November is usually such a disagreeable month...as if the year had suddenly found out that she was growing old and could do nothing but weep and fret over it.”   ~L.M. Montgomery