buckets of zucchini

 Hold the boat! There are still a few smaller zucchini on the kitchen counter, but after trying to organize the freezer downstairs to corral all the packages of roasted zucchini that I've made over the summer… It seems that I've spent a lot of time over the last few months as there are at least 24 packages! No wonder everything was cascading to the floor every time we opened the door! So back to my original point… I'll maybe make zucchini cake tomorrow ;-)

Meanwhile, the freezer became even more disorganized and now I have to spend a couple of hours doing something about it… when I have the energy!

It took me until Friday to recover from the previous weekend excitement of bringing the trailer home, although getting flu & covid vaccines probably slowed down my recovery… even still, I don't feel fully energized yet, but that's really my new normal… 

I'm trying to figure out how to recover, sometimes getting it right, but other times pushing so hard that I crash. Somehow I have to walk the line between not enough and too much. It's not a straight line - it fluctuates based on how much I did the day before and how well I slept. It's a real learning experiment! I've been mostly taking it in stride without too much angst, but occasionally my bipolar brain misbehaves, letting frustration and despair take over my brain for a few hours… I'm always relieved to get through them on the right side of the grass…

It's been several years since my last psychiatrist retired and generally I'm okay but there are times it would be good to have someone to commiserate with who can guide me through the thinking needed to get past the tricky bits. I have been getting help through the CFS Health facebook pages as well as the videos that they put out - sometimes a video comes out at just the right time! Mindset is the most important yet trickiest part of recovery!

Online forums can be a mire of misery which seems to just drag people lower and lower, so I'm pretty careful with what I join. 

But on the plus side, I saw my doctor last week - he agreed that we'd try out a drug that might help with PEM, but I'll start it after we get back from our trip. He also suggested watching some of ‘the Physics Girl’ on YouTube about her illness - she has had cfs for a few years but is on the path to recovery. It's good to have my doctor on my side as I know some people are not so lucky with their doctors. He admitted that he doesn't know a lot about it which I totally appreciate, especially as he seems interested in learning more 😀 

I'm so grateful that I never became as ill as some people get! I partially credit that to my doctor, who at my second appointment said that it could be cfs and that I should stop exercising… up to that point I'd been pressing through - and that's what he said to do in the first appointment! … it also encouraged me to do some research on recovery - I think that without that change, I would have continued to get worse, but now I'm at least stable and even perhaps a bit better!

I'm getting pretty excited about our trip! In a week I might already have a sunburn!

Suitcases are laid out on the spare room bed all packed and ready to close as soon as I add the hanging clothes (will wait until Saturday!). I spent AT LEAST AN HOUR this morning searching for the two waterproof phone bags that we got last year but alas… I swear I looked everywhere twice and then Carm looked as well… finally, frustrated and needing to sit down for a minute I wracked my brain, I had a vague memory of sending them back, and sure enough - I checked amazon and yes, they were returned! Dooh!

The problem with these types of searches is that it reveals the depths of disorganization and chaos in the nooks and crannies of my house! I have a few jobs for the winter…

Today it's raining on and off, but the previous few days have been spectacular! Carm has been busy outside getting the last of everything settled for the winter - I hang out on the bench near the garden and throw kibble for the dogs to search for in the long grass while he does the heavy work. They love this game and have gotten much more skilled at tracking down the nuggets.

I feel so useless!

This afternoon Carm headed off on a trek to the other side of the city to get a new golf club! His last game of the year is coming up on Friday - I think he said it will be round #50!

Awesome!

“suitcases almost packed”

“in one week I'll be sitting by the ocean!”

“so many beautiful October days”

“Adia & Lupa recovered from their dental”