beautiful winter day

After a day spent somnolent on the sofa, today I bustled around the house cleaning and prepping for supper. Cathey and Jim are coming tonight - we don’t see them often so like everything to be nice :-)  Carm did the manly task of vacuuming and washing the floor, while I did the easy stuff, like cutting onions and making bread.

With the bulk of the tasks out of the way, I strapped on my snowshoes and ventured into the glorious day. No clouds to mar the sky and enough wind to make my eyes tear. Were they tearing from the wind, or could it have been from appreciation of the intense beauty that surrounded me?

I stopped a few times to take photos, while Adia ran around happy to stretch her legs. 

Yesterday I didn’t venture outside at all, not because the weather was bad, but because I’d forgotten to take my meds the night before so I felt sick and drugged all day. Gosh, what a dummy!

Carm has discovered SnapSeed and is having fun fixing up photos from our Mediterrean trip. I’ve been addicted for a few weeks!

“Inside myself is a place where I live all alone

and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up.”

~Pearl S. Buck

the wonder of earth

The wind whipped at my face while I struggled to keep my hood from flying off my head. Snowflakes, and I hesitate to call them flakes as that is so benign, drove onto my cheeks making them burn with cold. The driving snow illuminated the path of the wind - who has seen the wind - I’ve seen where it was and where it is. I hunkered down into the warmth of my jacket and rejoiced. I could imagine that beneath the monotone world, spring was gathering her strength. The white shroud covering the earth was only a palate cleanser between courses and soon the lid would be removed to reveal a green earth.

It seems that one is never more alive than when Nature is hurling her fury - could it be a vestigial memory of how close death is when Nature shows her strength?

My snowshoes were great, keeping me somewhat on top of the layers of snow, while Adia struggled through the drifts. Her exercitions will hopefully tire her out for the day!

Carm was the real hero of the day, man-handling the giant orange snowblower up and down the laneway, braving the most ferocious part of the day. I stayed inside warm, but didn’t lie around eating bonbons… in fact chocolate was far from my mind… slicing a cow heart into tiny pieces is not a joyous task. The veins, or are they arteries, swirl around looking like parasites. Ugh. So gross.

My blog post for last year came up in my facebook feed. It was the day past Kabira’s birthday and  I was talking about how close she and Bella were: “Losing one of them doesn’t even bear thinking about as I think the other wouldn’t be far behind.”  I’m glad I didn’t know at the time how true my words were and that only 16 days would separate their departure from us to wed the rich soil of the earth. (let’s not go there any longer- I suddenly feel a prickling in my eyes and a ache in my chest).

Also in that post was mention of Spike being depressed with the long winter. He’s actually doing well this year, perhaps horsing around with Adia is keeping him engaged. Or maybe the little training sessions are helping. He’s not spending as much time in the bedroom by himself so he must be feeling better.

With the storm raging on I am motivated to make some Baked Potato Soup for supper. A rich bowl of potatoes gilded with cream and bacon will take the winter chill away.

“I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in the kindness of human beings. I am so absorbed in the wonder of earth and the life upon it that I cannot think of heaven and angels.”

~Pearl S. Buck

we made it

Shhhh… don’t tell Spike - Adia got to go to Grandma’s house yesterday to have a visit with her uncle Graham. We’d gone to town for a PetSmart practice (more about that later) and since we were in the neighborhood dropped in to see Graham.

As soon as we got into the house I did a bit of ‘puppy proofing’ - so many things that a waggy tail could knock over! She sniffed and sniffed and then settled down at my feet for a relax. We stayed in the kitchen so she didn’t spread her hair onto any furniture - next time I’ll bring her mat so she has something familiar to lie on.

Now onto PetSmart… I suppose I wasn’t in the greatest mood and also didn’t have a clear plan in my head, so it wasn’t great. Note to self: have a plan. I found myself comparing her to Spike back in the day. He was much easier to train, or so I seem to remember. I forget how much effort it was to get him to not react to other dogs, so I’m not being fair. The old adage of ‘train the dog in front of you’ stands true (bashing myself over the head with this). 

I think one of the differences between them is that Adia’s puppy life was more sheltered than Spike’s. He’d seen many different places by the time he was Adia’s age. She’s not had that advantage, so everything new is something to be sniffed and explored, and is so much more interesting than I am. I guess I’ve answered my own question on how to move forward - work on getting attention, but also expose her, and let her explore, more environments. Socialize.

Adia might be a more curious dog than Spike, perhaps because of her upbringing, or maybe it’s just her nature. Goodness knows, her nose is into everything!

I didn’t get out on my snowshoes yesterday, even though it was a beautiful day. We were out for much of the day (excuse 1), and my arm was super sore (excuse 2). I was expecting a little soreness after my vaccination, but gosh! I was a gimp.

I spent much of my day staring out the window waiting for the storm to start. Would school be cancelled or would the storm hold off long enough for safe travel? The storm did hold off and school was not cancelled… the roads going into the city were good. Coming home not so much, but Carm took his time and got us home safely. A big sigh of ‘we made it’ escaped my lips when we turned into the laneway.

“The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration. ”

~Pearl S. Buck

glory days

The ‘big dummy’ got it this morning! The action of pawing at the bowl to stepping on it with 2 feet was a giant leap as if a light went on in her brain. Or maybe I figured out my timing of the click and added a few carefully timed jackpots. Not such a dummy after all!

I spent a bit of time with Spike this morning teaching the same trick. He got to the point of consistently pawing at it in a fraction of the time of Adia, even though he does seem a bit senile. I cut the play short before he got bored - we’ll see how it goes tomorrow.

I’ve had the prescription in my purse for months… finally today I dug it out and went to Shoppers Drug Mart for a jab of Shingrix. My arm is slightly achy but I’ll survive!

It seems repetitive, but today is another glorious day! It was well above freezing with a strong sun to melt the snow. It could be the end of March instead of February. Glory days.

“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”

~Pearl S. Buck

declutter

Another glorious day with full on sun accompanied by the tinkle of water in the downspouts.

Oh wait!

Okay, I’m back… I just had to chase Adia out of the house. She and Spike were going berserk ricocheting around the house. It wasn’t just her - Spike was egging her on. Anyway I went out with her and she went crazy running through the snow. There is nothing that has as much energy as a young ridgeback!

before the trouble

The snowshoes got used again this morning, but I didn’t drag them out this afternoon as Carm was out, so I was using the opportunity to play some music. I don’t know why, but when he leaves the house I get all sorts of energy and putter around getting things done. He must be some sort of energy drain on me! 

All the little fake evergreen trees are packed away, along with the pretty Christmas balls. Still to go: garlands - but I like to have Carm here for that as there is a lot of climbing chairs. Usually I leave it all a little later in the winter, but the false spring these last few days has tricked me. Plus I’m feeling a little claustrophobic from all the ‘stuff’ and want to pare down a bit. Declutter is not a word that often passes my lips so I must act quickly! 

If I were especially energetic, I’d dig out some cream fabric and make curtains for the cupboards that are stuffing places… not so though. (inspired by this thought I dug out an old lace curtain from the camper and draped it over the junk - it may be a slight improvement… or perhaps not.

To be fair to myself, this open cupboard is full of important stuff: Grace’s travel cage - closeby the door in case of emergency; bin of stuff to go into the camper; bin of chargers and other electronic bits that live at home but have to migrate to the camper when we travel. All stuff that needs to be at hand (or so I tell myself).

I’ve been trying to teach Adia to put her two front feet on a box using just operant conditioning with no prompts or lures. The almond milk box is getting pretty beat up - I fear for the contents - but she’s starting to get it. She gives up quickly though and offers her default behaviour which is to lie down. She’s not the quick study that Spike was, but I have to remember that she’s new to this game and not call her a ‘big dummy’ so often 😃🤣 

Spike sometimes tries to participate but all he can seem to do is stand in front of me and stamp his feet back and forth like he is on the verge of dementia. He looks so bright and eager, well almost, his eyes have a cloudiness in them that was never there, but his ears are pricked and he looks alert. He remembers half the game. I have to remind myself to remember that it’s been years since he played it. It seems like it was just the other day...

“I may never be happy, but tonight I am content. Nothing more than an empty house, the warm hazy weariness from a day spent setting strawberry runners in the sun, a glass of cool sweet milk, and a shallow dish of blueberries bathed in cream. When one is so tired at the end of a day one must sleep, and at the next dawn there are more strawberry runners to set, and so one goes on living, near the earth. At times like this I'd call myself a fool to ask for more...”

~Sylvia Plath

snowshoes

It is a glorious day with a soft blue sky and enough wind to remind me that it’s still winter. The snow has a crispy kind of crust that comes from melting in the sun. Mid morning, and again mid afternoon, I strapped on my NEW snowshoes and did a short tramp. I’ll admit to being shockingly out of shape from the somnolent winter. No treadmill and deep snow has kept me from exerting myself. But, I got out there for a few minutes and reveled in the sun.

The new snowshoes are the modern kind with sleek metal rims and awesome bindings that take seconds rather than frustrating minutes to get on. I love them. 

As is usual with technology, the transfer from my old phone to the new one was not without pain. All my apps and data migrated with ease, but when it came time to test Google Play Music… none of my playlists were seen, including the one that I’d created in the cloud on my old phone. I used CXFile explorer and could see that the files were all there and looked to be non-corrupted, so, out of desperation, I downloaded the music player I once used to double check and yes, playlists were all there and working fine.

I couldn’t find anything online to help with my problem so I guess I’ll go back to using the old app and skip Google. The old ‘you can’t get there from here’ scenario.

Last night we had a great dinner with Trudie and Leo. Of course I had to try out the camera on my new phone:

Adia was good again, and I suspect the shock she received from Pat is the reason. She mostly stayed away from the table when we ate, and only came over to the sofa area once or twice. The rest of the time she was in her crate or the bedroom. Talk about a strong aversive reinforcement!

Fourteen! years ago we were downsizing our herd of Fjord horses, or maybe I should say zero sizing. It was a gut-wrenching process feeling the sands of my dreams slipping away, but reality sometimes gets in the way of dreams. 

We had four foals that were less than a year old to find homes for. You can’t tell from the photo as they were at that furry, awkward stage, but they were good quality horses. Fiorgyn, the one in the photo, went to a lady in the US who, when Fiorgyn was old enough, bred her to a nice stallion. She had a lovely colt that was shipped to New Zealand to be a stud.

“How we need that security. How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into.”

~Sylvia Plath

when time stands still

There is no better way to make time slowdown than to expect a delivery of something you are somewhat excited to receive. At 9:30am I checked the FedEx site to see that my new phone was out for delivery, which put a kibosh on our other plans for the day. With fingers crossed for the parcel to arrive soon I sat down to wait. And wait, and wait…

Finally at 3pm, when I had almost given up, the truck rumbled down the laneway and soon I had the red rectangular box in my paws. Make that two red boxes… bluetooth headphones were in the 2nd box.

The giant glossy electronics were almost lost in the pile of packaging (did I really need such a big phone?) - and the packaging - way over the top - how fancy do they have to make it? Once unearthed, it was quickly plugged in for a fast charge before I make it my own.

It’s got a ‘fast charger’, but it seemed to take forever (I’m not a patient person) - finally it was ready so after getting Carm to insert my old sim, I fired it up and got started. Yee Haw!

After a quick phone call to make sure that function works (it is a phone after all!), I initiated the camera. Nice. These are straight from the lens, except for a resize. It’s got 3 cameras so it will surely do the trick for me :-)  Oh yeah, a new gadget to play with! If there is anything that will flip my mood it’s that.

somebody needs their nails trimmed!

Adia’s class last night was good. It was mostly a review of what everyone had already learned - all the other dogs had a few months since their last class. Some of our review was spectacular, while some showed a giant hole in my training. I’ve got to practice and practice a focus sound, and ‘leave it’ should be better too.

I almost forgot! We were up early to make our fall camping reservations :-)  Summer is on the horizon.

“I felt dumb and subdued. Every time I tried to concentrate, my mind glided off, like a skater, into a large empty space, and pirouetted there, absently.”

~Sylvia Plath

funny how time slips away

It’s a banner day! Spike turned 12 today - no fanfare or special meal, in fact it’s his least favorite day of the week - Adia’s school night when he is left alone for a few hours. I think I’ll dig out something from the freezer to cheer him up when we get home. As if raw chicken hearts for a bedtime snack isn’t enough!

I might need a special treat too as the years are going by too quickly and if he’s 12 today, tomorrow he’ll be 16...

It seems impossible that almost 12 years have passed since we got him. He was a little puff of fur on my lap driving home from Dawn’s, but it didn’t take long for him to grow to be an oversized miniature poodle. I had hoped for a lap dog, but he was too big for that, aside from the fact that he rarely likes to cuddle. He more than made up for it with his love of learning new things. He was always keen to learn a new trick or skill.

He can be a bit of a son-of-a-bitch with other dogs. He loves camping and going for walks. His favorite thing to do in the morning is to run and get my socks. Strangely, he likes to have his picture taken and will pose when the camera comes out. 

I know you aren’t supposed to have favorites, but this little guy is the dog of my heart.

Speaking of other dogs, tonight is Adia’s first class of Basic Manners II where we’ll do more off-leash work and other skills that will help her to get ready to be a therapy dog. Carm’s been helping me practice ‘on by’... but it is still a work in progress. Walking past something interesting without a big sniff is a challenge for her!

We had a lovely supper at Trudie & Leo’s the other night - another chance to give Adia some freedom in the house. She did well, but I can’t remember if a few things were displaced during or after our absence. 

All these doggie distractions have been good, although to be honest, it hasn’t been enough and I’ve been struggling. I’m not sure if it is the changing light or what… but I know from history that it will pass.

a bit later… I realize that I’ve been spending too much time thinking about how bad I feel and not enough thinking about the things I’m excited about. I learned a long time ago that you are what  you think, so get with the program Laura and smarten up!

“I have taken a pill to kill

The thin

Papery feeling.”

~Sylvia Plath

shocking

It’s a glorious day today: bright sun in an impossibly blue sky, little to no wind, just cold enough to keep the snow from melting, although a bit cold on my butt wearing fur lined leggings.

Adia managed 3 hours loose in the house on Sunday. With Spike’s unruffled demeanor calming her, we could see her relaxing on the futon, although she also paced around the room looking out of windows. But she was reasonably calm and not on the verge of eating the sofa (we think!). She’s turning into an adult dog right in front of our eyes. Very pleased.

It will be another Adia centric post… Friday was busy with an appointment for Adia’s rabies jabs, and a discussion with the vet about tick solutions. Note to self: never go on the internet to investigate these meds… it’s a scary place.

Later in the day I had my postponed manicure. We got home in time for me to get supper ready (corned beef & cabbage) for Trudie and Leo, finally home from their trip. We missed them! 

Christina came over on Saturday and again today for some Adia training. She is a great partner as she understands the training process. We quickly moved from greetings with and without a hello, to walking past Christina with distractions. The squeaky toy was a challenge, as was her food dish, but as always Adia excelled. 

Sunday morning we met up with Kirsten and Nissa for a giant breakfast - I couldn’t believe how much bacon was on my plate. This is when Adia was left loose. 

There have been a few oddities with Adia over the last few days. Initially I thought she might be feeling off from her jabs. Friday night when Trudie and Leo were over she was on her best behaviour. I couldn’t believe how good she was about not mobbing the guests on the sofa but thought that she is just getting so much better behaved from all the training. Then yesterday I tried to get her to do a long down in the sofa area but she wouldn’t stay and tried to hide in the bedroom. As soon as I got her back to her mat for a few seconds I released her - no point in training a break in the stay :-(  I was perplexed as usually she is cooperative and eager to play the training game.

Last night Pat was over for supper (we had a lovely time - thanks again Pat for cheering me up), and if you remember from last week Adia got a nasty shock from Pat. Adia greeted her at the door enthusiastically, was basically well behaved at supper, and when it came time for us to sit at the sofas she disappeared into the bedroom. Huh? And then it hit me… she associates guests and sofas with shocks. I want her to be comfortable with guests, and don’t really want her hanging around in the living room so have to figure out how to balance the two opposing goals. Thankfully she emerged and got a good pat away from the sofas so the association isn’t just Pat.

It just goes to show that you have to be aware of what you are reinforcing, either positively or negatively! Christina helped me work on this a bit today but I don’t have a clear plan on how to move forward.

Today’s quote made me cry… it resonates with what I have been and where I have come from, and gratefully where I am not now. I think of all who have been at the precipice of oblivion and those that are there now. I don’t revisit those times often (for good reason), but maybe it is good to remind myself to keep working hard and that those moments that I want to yield to the temptation of temporary darkness and hide in my bed, must be fought against. My memory has faded and at times it tries to trick me into thinking that surrender would be easier - thankfully the stronger part of my mind knows this is a lie and gives me the encouragement that I need.

My world falls apart, crumbles, “The centre cannot hold.” There is no integrating force, only the naked fear, the urge of self-preservation. I am afraid. I am not solid, but hollow. I feel behind my eyes a numb, paralysed cavern, a pit of hell, a mimicking nothingness. I never thought. I never wrote, I never suffered. I want to kill myself, to escape from responsibility, to crawl back abjectly into the womb. I do not know who I am, where I am going—and I am the one who has to decide the answers to these hideous questions. I long for a noble escape from freedom—I am weak, tired, in revolt from the strong constructive humanitarian faith which presupposes a healthy, active intellect and will. There is nowhere to go.”

~Sylvia Plath

school days

The snow blustered around me as I gripped Adia’s leash. Up and down the laneway we walked, waiting for her to puke up some ancient food/dog treats that she’d uncovered. Oh, it was our fault - we’d put it outside on the ground for the squirrels not thinking about her laser focused nose. To say she is food-driven would be a massive understatement.

Late this morning I caught her eating up the last crumbs so rushed her inside to grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide - 3 tablespoons for a dog her size - which is said to induce vomiting. This seemed like our best chance of avoiding hours of diarrhea. Unfortunately, either because the stuff was old, or maybe she’s one of the rare dogs it doesn’t work on, there was no vomit. She may also have gotten it early this morning when I let them out for their business…

So, we wait. I’ve cancelled my manicure appointment (way overdue), as I don’t want to take a chance of an accident while I’m gone. And to tell you the truth, all this thinking about puking has made me feel a little queasy.

Last night was Adia’s last class of Basic Good Manners I - it was fun with a bit of agility at the end. I’m not sure she’d be stellar - she sort of shut down on me after going over the jump several times - but it was fun, and maybe if we mixed it up and had better treats than kibble she’d start to like it. Later in the summer we’ll sign up for a class. After the rally-o class. And the BGM II class that starts next week.

Carm had to snowblow again - it’s been a weekly event for a few weeks!

These endless days of cloud and snow are starting to get to me. Flashes of rage pound themselves against Carm for the smallest infraction. Immense pleasure violently seesaws with gloom. I’m doing a pretty good job at fighting it, but I can feel the tendrils move within me. Looking back at what I wrote a few weeks ago, I can’t help but laugh - the words were obviously written by someone in the middle of mood states. It’s funny, no matter what I’m feeling, if I’m normal, hypo-manic, or depressed, I feel that I’m going to be stuck there forever. When I’m feeling good I feel confident that I’ll never feel bad again and that by the gift of extreme intelligence I’ve somehow worked it all out!

With Trudie & Leo gone for so long, and Jo Ellen & Don stuck at home, there aren’t enough dinner parties to keep me occupied. The whole burden has fallen on Pat’s shoulders. Thank goodness for the training I’m doing with Adia - that activity is rewarding and is what’s keeping me sane this winter. 

8:30 pm - no sign of stomach upsets for Adia… this is the dog who couldn’t eat a tiny piece of dried liver without immediate diarrhea…

“I am terrified by this dark thing

That sleeps in me;

All day I feel its soft, feathery turnings, its malignity.”

~Sylvia Plath

inordinately pleased

To say that I’m pleased with the big red whirling dervish would be an understatement. You could say that I’m inordinately pleased. Today we had an opportunity to practice outside the house: first in a parking lot, and second at a somewhat busy PetSmart.

In the parking lot we were able to practice some loose-leash walking in an unfamiliar, but not overly distracting location. There were cars moving about and the occasional person. She got to do some polite greetings and also met a kind lady in a wheelchair. The leash wasn’t always loose, but overall she did really well.

We went inside the PetSmart right away as there was a lot of salt on the walkway. Inside the door is a fairly open area which is great for getting our bearings. Moving down the aisles was challenging at first - lots of sniffing and she wasn’t responsive to ‘leave it’ or ‘on by’ - there was just way too much stimulation. But in less than 5 minutes things had improved greatly. We were starting to get some really great loose leash times and were able to pass some dog interesting areas - pee on the floor was the hardest to get by!

Her automatic sits were almost there, especially as time went by. We got downs, stays, and even a recall past food bags. With some help (and lots of reinforcement), she did a sit/stay in the toy aisle while we picked out a new toy for her. It was doubly hard as there were some tasty Kong treats right beside her.

Adia met a few people and some dogs. I have to think what I want the people greetings to be like. I was having her sit, and rewarding the sit, but in the end she was more interested in the food than in saying hello. With Spike I had a release command - ‘do you want to say hello’ was his cue to greet someone. I think Adia is getting good enough at the sitting part for me to add the release. I think we need practice where sometimes she gets to greet and other times not, with a clear cue as to the difference. 

It is so nice to see the progress we’ve made over the last few weeks. There is still a long way to go before she is anywhere near as good as Spike was, but I can see that she has it in her to be that good :-) 

“Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.”

~Winston S. Churchill

a flash of insight

It seems that I will never learn… a flash of insight last night inspired me to give Spike a haircut this morning. Instant revival. He’s jumping around happy and energized, playing with Adia again and eagerly participating in training games. The poor guy was just hot.

Last night we had a good visit with Pat. Everything was going great until Pat gave Adia a big shock on her nose… well, you would have thought that Pat was trying to kill her. It took lots of treats and coaxing before Adia slunk up for another go. I hope she has a short memory! We’ll have to install a grounding rod for Pat to touch before she pets the dogs :-)

It was grey with light snow falling still this morning, overnight we got 7 or 8 cm of fluffy snow - Carm had to snowblow - but gosh, the snow is lovely and fluffy. Adia went crazy in the drifts that lay across the field. The sun was determined to make an appearance and by 1pm it was shining and bright. Drawn outside, I closed my eyes and imagined that it was a hot summer sun warming my back. It is the kind of winter day that makes me believe that I could love winter. It was glorious!

Adia had her first ‘test’ of being out of her crate while we left the house for a ½ hour. She didn’t settle down right away, but wasn’t in a panic either - she mainly walked around looking out of the windows. She did get up on the futon and sort of relax a few times. It was just good luck that she was laying down with Spike when we got home - excellent positive reinforcement. She cried a tiny bit but there was no howling from either of them. We feel good about leaving her for a few minutes longer next time.

Have you been following the Corona scare? I read a blurb written about being in quarantine by a guy in China. He and his family are coping, I wonder how others will manage. How would I ride it out? 

I’m on a Sylvia Plath tear. I get most of my quotes from the GoodReads website - I can search by topic or author - you can probably guess that I’ve got pages and pages of Plath quotes to choose from. Oh, I pass many by, saving them for later, even though I love them, as I’m in a good place mentally right now. Some speak to me so loudly that they demand to be included. 

This quote insisted on being pasted… many times I’ve wondered which would be worse: to be physically ill, or to have a mental illness. I see people with a horrible disease that are so positive and I don’t think that I could be that way… my illness, when I’m really sick, makes such an outlook impossible. The brain can help heal the body, but what heals the brain when it is the sick one?

“I wanted to tell her that if only something were wrong with my body it would be fine, I would rather have anything wrong with my body than something wrong with my head, but the idea seemed so involved and wearisome that I didn’t say anything. I only burrowed down further in the bed.”

~Sylvia Plath

safe in the bosom of my home

Eddys of snow churned against the house, blasting us with all that winter had to offer. Thankfully, Olaf and Freya had arrived safely and we were all safe in the bosom of my home. Once supper was done and Freya asleep in a warm nest of blankets, Olaf, Carm and I sat around visiting. The evening flew by and soon it was past the witching hour and nearing 1am - time for bed as it would be an early morning… little girls have early internal alarm clocks!

Saturday we putzed around for ages before making breakfast. Not as much chatter as we were all somewhat bleary-eyed. Carm looked up owl info with Freya while I nursed a coffee. Funny animal videos kept her amused until breakfast time.

A miracle: Freya had a little pot of yogurt that wasn’t fully eaten and it sat on the coffee table for an hour - Adia did NOT try to take it! Good girl! She’s been really good about not stealing food for quite a while now.

On Saturday morning I was drawn outside to revel in the awesome landscape sculpted by a blizzard.

Ever since Adia went to school on Wednesday night Spike has been gloomy. He cried quite a bit while we were gone and hasn’t really bounced back since. I’ve tried to coax him into playing training games, but he soon gives up and wanders back to bed. It breaks my heart and I’ll have to be honest, it’s dragging me down too. I tried getting him to bring my socks (which I haven’t asked for ages), he was happy and excited to do that but then went back to bed. Or maybe he isn’t feeling well physically… it doesn’t matter which, either way he’s not happy.

Oh, see… now I’m tearing up.

The day started off sunny and brutally cold, but the clouds have rolled in and it’s warmed up a bit. Carm’s gone to shovel Leo’s propane tank access paths. I have to get busy sweeping and doing some prep for supper. It’s hard to overcome inertia. Loud music might help!

Last night we had great fun at Mom and Dad’s celebrating Dad’s 78th birthday. We were all there except poor Shawn. It’s wonderful having everyone close.

I was dancing around the house shouting out the lyrics to ‘Freak Out’, when I realized how far Adia has come… in the early days she’d be the one freaking out and running away when I started my  ‘Elaine’ dancing moves. Now she just looks at me, no longer scared but perhaps wondering why I’m so weird.

Note to self: loud, fun music and dancing lifts my mood. 

“I told him I believed in hell, and that certain people, like me, had to live in hell before they died, to make up for missing out on it after death, since they didn't believe in life after death, and what each person believed happened to him when he died.”

~Sylvia Plath