battening down for winter

Time has a way of getting away from me, somehow slipping away without leaving a mark. I started writing this post several days ago but keep forgetting to get back to it… 

I'll do a bit of time travel and am sure to mess up the tense as I update what I wrote a week ago!

The Thursday before last, (October 16th) we went to the villetta for a few nights - a last hurrah before bringing the beast home. We eeked out every last minute of enjoyment and then Saturday morning we were up and at'em after a quick coffee. It didn't take long to get travel ready… well, not long considering we'd been parked for 4 months and had settled in comfortably. A few pictures came down off the walls in the bedroom, the baskets were hoisted down from above the high cupboards, carpets were vacuumed and rolled up. Odds and ends were secured.

It was an easy hitch and we were on our way after a teary good-bye. It will be over 7 months before we return. It's a long time to wait, but I also know that the time will fly by and we'll be driving into our spot before we know it.

We got home with no trouble, got backed into the laneway after a few high emotion tries, and we were home. The weather was good so I got right to it, initially thinking I'd just empty the fridge, but as these sorts of things go, once inertia is overcome the job flies. By mid afternoon the camper had been emptied of everything that can freeze, including all the food, and various odds and ends. Carm carried loads of stuff into the basement - we've gotten a lot more organized over the years and what used to take a few days is now compressed into a few hours. For years, the dining room table would be covered with 'stuff' to be distributed around the house, but now, dedicated bins and duplicates of everything that doesn't freeze makes it a breeze with no giant mess.

While I finished up inside, Carm got the pink anti-freeze ready to run through the water system. And then it was done!

Sunday was another beautiful day in the high 20s, so we got busy and planted the garlic. While Carm worked at that, I deeked away to wash and wax the hardwood in the camper. Two jobs done! There are just odds and ends left in the trailer - easily taken care of over the next few days. So that leaves us mostly ready for our trip in 10 6 days!

But surely we've done more than that! I've made a few trips into the city to visit Mom & Dad, we've run errands, I've walked on the treadmill but have been too lazy to do weights. We've had covid and flu vaccines. It's taken me over a week to recover from the busyness of the previous few weeks - I don't have the stamina for long periods of activity. It's always been that way for me but it's worse since I started all my bipolar medications. It's great when I'm a bit hypomanic, unfortunately I can't call that up when needed!

This past Saturday we had lunch with Jo Ellen and Don. They treated us to a Greek lunch at their place which was lovely :-) 

The spare bedroom looks like a tsunami of clothes crashed upon the bed and desk. So many pairs of shoes are heaped on the floor. How many bathing suits should I pack? Is 4 pairs of shorts too many? I've got my dinner clothes all sorted out along with their accoutrements (those shoes again!) - that was the easy part. 

A throng of suitcases have been brought upstairs, most empty except for the giant one that contains our dedicated travel paraphernalia. The idea of sorting through all that stuff has me paralysed on the sofa. Most of my clothes are ready to be folded and tucked into bags. Carm is easy - I have historically packed his things and will continue to do so. I've been mostly successful but did forget proper socks one trip which resulted in him getting a bad blister - I'll do better this time! (update: I packed a few extra pairs jic!).

The weather has been more seasonal since the weekend with not enough much needed rain. But we did manage to get Grace's cage hefted out of the house and pressure washed. It seems to get heavier each time!

Today Carm got the hitch out of the truck and more hoses picked up… slowly but surely we are getting battened down for winter!

Through all of this I've been struggling a bit mentally. Vestiges of sorrow have been joined with seasonal ugh… but I've been pushing through and mostly managing well. It's not really a surprise after such an emotional fall. Having our trip planned has been a blessing and a curse… I'm finding the preparations to be overwhelming even though there's really not much left to do. Even packing is mostly done, I just need to shift a few things around and then add the hanging clothes so there's really no excuse for feeling so discombobulated but I guess I'm used to it!

I have to remember to tell myself that 'today is a better day' and get on with things!

"you are no longer where you were, but you are everywhere that I am"  Victor Hugo

Awesome!

"camper parked safely in the driveway for the long winter"

"164 cloves of garlic tucked into the nourishing ground"

"the new food basics in the village"

"house cleaner"

but to the happy, I am at peace

It's been close to 3 weeks of an emotional rollercoaster, culminating in Graham's Celebration of Life which was held last night. The days raced by but the minutes creeped. Now we can start to move forward and somehow process the loss without the distraction of preparations. I can see that it won't be easy…

The celebration (it's honestly hard to call it that as who can truly celebrate an untimely death after years of struggle), perhaps I will call it a Remembrance, was heartwarming, Hearing stories of Graham from people I had never met and how he touched other people's lives helped me to remember him before things went so badly. More people attended than we expected and I was personally touched by my friends and family who dropped in, some from long distances. The momentary respite from grief in the arms of those I love was a balm that helped me through the night. Each warm embrace strengthened me.

When it came time for the words of remembrance, Shawn took the helm, introducing each of us as we said our words. Olaf did the eulogy in the form of a poem that he wrote; Juliette was composed, sharing her memories of her father; Erik managed his speech well. Kirsten and I read a simple poem together - I knew I wasn't strong enough to do more than that. Standing beside Kirsten made it possible to speak. Shenna stood with Nissa while she read her beautifully written tribute which was followed by a recording of 'Over the rainbow'. I couldn't tell how many dry eyes there were as my vision was obliterated by my own tears.

I can write my feelings (and yes, cry while I'm doing it),  but saying those same words out loud would have been impossible for something so raw. As it was, I practiced reading the poem over and over again until I could get through it without breaking up.

Remember Me by Margaret Mead

To the living, I am gone,

To the sorrowful, I will never return,

To the angry, I was cheated,

But to the happy, I am at peace,

And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.

So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,

As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,

Remember me.

Remember me in your heart:

Your thoughts, and your memories,

Of the times we loved,

The times we cried,

The times we fought,

The times we laughed.

For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.

Then it was over and we gathered his artifacts that we used to personalize the space. Pictures, musical instruments, a mini drone, his viking horn drinking vessel, the carved Valhalla sign, other odds and ends were collected into a green bin. I carried Graham into Mom's van to be taken to theirs, where he will rest until some ashes are spread. A full but tragic life broken down to a few tokens. 

Mom brought most of the flowers to her place, while I brought the beautiful arrangement from Trudie & Leo home. I might press a few flowers to make a little frame to tuck on a shelf.

In the afternoon, before the event, twenty one (I think) of us gathered at Mom and Dad's for catered sandwiches and sweet treats to fortify us for the long evening. We should have done a family photo as we were all dressed up and looking fine… but it would have seemed so weird and somehow inappropriate.

Thankfully Pat was here looking after the animals so that was one giant load off my mind - thank you Pat 😊 

All that was just yesterday and doesn't account for the multiple trips to the funeral home, trips to the photo printing stores, shopping for frames, making this arrangement and that arrangement. Posting the final copy of his obituary was a moment of reality. Lots of little tasks to keep us busy between the tears. 

Uncle Graham arrived last Tuesday to help share the load and to support Mom and Dad. He shared a name with brother Graham which must have been triggering - seeing your name on the door to a funeral home would be confronting - a double whammy - today's loss and glimpse into the future.

Last weekend the siblings gathered at Kirsten's for our annual night with Juliette and Erik attending to represent Graham. It was a night of high emotion and crazy release. I danced like I was afflicted by the 1518 dancing plague, music played, skull shaped shot glasses were toasted in his honour, some with black skull vodka - Graham was big into skulls - we dug out photos of better days, Erik's girlfriend Nourlynn impressed us with her rendition of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' - we all sang along, raising our voices in harmony.

Difficult times forge strong bonds.

I've learned that grief comes in waves… sometimes it's barely a thought that suddenly turns into a pit of regret and sorrow. Regret for what I did say but more regret for what I never said. If I had sent him a link to a song he might like, or a funny video, just to say that I am thinking of you, would that have helped to keep him in reality? If I had said 'I love you' more; if I had apologised for the times I didn't listen; if I had met him with Lupa like he suggested would he have felt more seen? I was too concerned with accidently saying the wrong thing and triggering a rage and kept him at arms length, communicating through texts for the moment. 

I didn't want to risk closing off the lines of communication, but now he is cut off forever, the opportunity wasted. Of course that's all hypothetical and honestly, it seems that the ending was written in the wind, but those what if's haunt me.

If there is anything to be learned, it's to tell loved ones that they are loved. It's to reach out in little ways to let someone know you are thinking of them and that they have a residence in your heart. It's to forgive and to have compassion for other's struggles. It's to not take things personally and realize that sometimes people act out because of inner challenges and unhappiness which has nothing to do with me. It's to remember.

Awesome!

"friends and family"

heartfelt thanks

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and support from everyone. Your kind words have taken a share of the sadness and grief from my heart - thank you.

I started trying to write to everyone individually but you'll have to excuse the single post… it just became too hard to put into words the feelings that I've gotten from reading your messages and honestly how much crying can a person do in one go? As it is, I have a handy box of tissues for this simple message.

Plus you know how verbose I am! Why say something in 10 words when I can say it in 1000!

It's times like this that we find so much comfort from family and friends. There is a drawing together that strengthens bonds in the shared grief. But more than tears, there is laughter and warm feelings as we remember Graham through the years. So many funny stories remind us of his sense of humour and fun - it's been good to remember him as he was years ago.

That renewal of connections has been a gift. Years ago the minister that gave the eulogy for my Great Aunt Jean's funeral talked about how the gathering of everyone is the final gift from the departed and that we should not only grieve with each other but also rekindle the relationships between all of us, family and friends.

Mental illness and addiction are such hard roads to travel, for the person experiencing it as well as for those around them. Is there more help that we as a society can give those suffering? I don't know. My hope, and this has been my own journey for years, is that sharing and talking about these things brings it out into the open where maybe something can be done. It doesn't help anyone to keep struggles locked away out of sight, at least that has been my experience. Stigma is a killer.

On a more personal note, (making this about me as usual!), I feel blessed for my own mental health as his journey could have easily become mine and honestly, that scares the shit out of me… Maybe that's partially why I feel so much angst about what he was feeling and going through. I have always felt a connection to Graham through our shared illness as maybe I have more of a feeling of what he was experiencing than someone who has never had the black demon… but maybe I'm delusional and just projecting…

Unfortunately that feeling of shared connection made it more difficult for me when he would reject my help. I wanted to help him find his way to a more stable life but he didn't always want to hear it which caused friction between us. I always felt that if he would just take my advice, life would be better for him but of course we all have to make those decisions for ourselves. I hope that he knew my advice was coming from a place of love and caring.

I wanted to fix him which of course no one can do. All we can really do is be the support for when he did want to hear. I never really learned that though…

We are still in the process of making the arrangements. Mom has been amazing at keeping it together as we go through things with the funeral home, etc. Basic decisions seem so hard to make and talking about them seems unreal, almost as if I was sitting outside of my body, watching myself go through the motions.

I know that all of you have experienced your own losses and I appreciate your sharing. I see you all and see that you've gone through bereavements which helps me to believe that it will end up okay here too. A load shared is a load lessened. 

Hold your loved ones close. ❤️ 

Awesome!

"everyone who has been so kind"

"family"

long goodbyes

I never expected to be writing here at one in the morning but I can't sleep and need someone to talk to. I won't post this for a few days, once everyone has been notified… (update, it's less than 24 hours later).

My baby brother Graham passed away suddenly and unexpectedly sometime Sunday or Monday morning. He was found in his room at his apartment but details are sketchy leaving us with lots of questions that will probably never be answered. There is no cause of death yet and won't be for a few weeks. We are all in shock and having difficulty believing it.

Mom and I were able to tell his kids and ex wife all at once and in person on Monday afternoon. I can't think of more heartbreaking news to tell someone…I don't feel that I imparted the news well but I guess in the end, the news is the news and no matter the delivery, the result is devestating.  I have my own sadness but it can never compare to their's… please keep them in your thoughts as this will be a difficult time for them all. And my parents. Maybe especially them…

A bunch of photos of Graham and the kids came up in my photo memories yesterday just before Mom and Dad called me. They were fresh in my mind when I got the news so the picture I have of him in my mind is from when he was healthy and things were better.

from a few years ago

Graham will be remembered by many people in the community for his caring and empathy. He was kind to strangers and seemed to attract the downtrodden and lost souls. He always wanted to help people. Maybe giving help to others gave help to himself… I don't know. Wild rabbits would sit with him on the front porch. He loved nature. He had a curious mind and was interested in so many different things. He walked the city taking photos of people, sharing his talent and hobby. He befriended the shop keepers where he frequented, and the dog walkers, and the larpers who gathered in his favourite park. And others that we didn't know about.

He especially loved his dog Gimli.

He was also a lost soul with demons dragging him down to an almost unreasonable hell. I hope in his last minutes that he knew how much we all loved him. That is my hopest hope.

One of his favourite songs is 'somewhere over the rainbow' sung by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole, the beloved Hawaiian singer. somewhere over The rainbow 

We spent many hours in the past listening to music together and sharing our favourites.

Graham is the youngest - this was at my wedding when the boys were just little kids.

Tuesday night: we all got together this afternoon to empty his apartment of his belongings. The housing case workers talked about how much everybody liked Graham and how he seemed to bring out the best of a rag tag group of misfits… however it was not enough and he was dragged down by a few. He was naive, thinking only the best of people which left him vulnerable to being taken advantage of and being led astray. 

Steph and I took a turn keeping an eye on all our vehicles while the others started sorting through his things. While we were there, the neighbour in a nearby house came out to talk to us and share with us her experience of being friends with Graham. Gimli and her dog often got together to play. We are so grateful to hear the stories.

Countless flights of stairs later the cars and truck were loaded with what was his. We unloaded everything at Mom and Dad's, milled around not sure of what to do next then gathered in the family room to share stories, tears, and laughter. The kids, Olaf, Steph and I met up with some of the boy's high school friends. Shawn and Carm were able to join us. We had some heartfelt conversations over some IPAs before calling it a night. I'm back at Mom and Dad's for another night - tomorrow we'll start figuring out funeral arrangements - none of us have done this before and I guess we aren't rushing to get the job done. Perhaps it seems so final and an invitation for reality to barge in.

It seems like another era but just a few days ago we had a great visit with Olaf and Stephanie. They even played 9 holes of golf on Sunday (was that really just two days ago?). I went along for the walk. It was an absolutely stunning day with a cloudless blue sky and the perfect temperature for a country walk.

It seems unreal now. Juliette said it best when she said we have been grieving him for a while and now it starts all over again. So many mixed emotions of sadness, guilt, remorse, and yes, a bit of relief and hope that he's in a better place, free of pain and unhappiness. Graham, we loved you and you will be missed. There's been a hole in our family that we all hoped was just temporary… but now that opportunity has been lost.

Olaf and I with Graham's kids.

Awesome!

"golf"

"seriously though, I'll have to pass on the awesome today, although I could say that family and being together was good"

three times 21

Thank you for all the birthday wishes :-) It seems like just last year that I turned 21 but also another lifetime ago… multiply that by 3 and here I am! Three times older! And maybe 3 times better! 

Thinking back to my 21st birthday is like visiting ancient history - from what I remember, I was living in Ottawa with my boyfriend Steve and our friend Alan in a 2 bedroom townhouse. My parents had come to visit, maybe bringing my brothers, but I don't remember Kirsten being there. I remember being sad as I knew it would be the last time I'd see Thor, my childhood dog. I got a briefcase from Mom and Dad, and some table legs and a bench from Steve's family. I still have the bench (it's in the main bathroom) but the briefcase is long gone…

I seem to remember struggling with a bit of depression at the time but that was a common occurrence back then, maybe even more so than now. I know I didn't have the self confidence I have now, that took a long time to develop (and I credit much of that to Carm's unwavering support)... If my fairy godmother showed up with her wand and offered to send me back to that time, I would refuse! Twenty one wasn't my best year, in fact it was during that year that I first came closest to ending it all… it was actually a really terrible year! 

Multiply 21 by 2 makes me 42 years old, another turning point year. On my birthday I was on sick leave with major depression… I hadn't been diagnosed bipolar yet, that would happen at the beginning of October of that year. That was a pretty tough year but I learned so much about myself and it started me on the path of learning how to better navigate life… 

I'm not unique in having obstacles - everyone has challenges thrown at them and I know you are all awesome at dealing with everything. It was actually a bit depressing to look back but after thinking about it for a while, I feel good about my journey and feel that there were way more ups than downs.

This year? I feel great physically and emotionally. So yeah, life is good now!

Today the sun is shining and it's a balmy 25C, perfect for a trip to the golf driving range. We went on Monday and I was able to hit the ball reasonably consistently… but only for 80 yards max… today I struggled a bit more but I was feeling tired from walking over 8km in the morning and my arm was still a bit sore from a vaccine yesterday. But it was fun! Next summer I'm going to try to work on hitting the ball so that maybe I could do an actual golf game ha ha!

We did get into the pool briefly this afternoon… just so I could say I did! It was a chilly 19C or 66F… brrr.

We are still eating tomatoes and hope to have a few more before the week is out. I'm not sick of them yet! I've started the process of making focaccia for tomorrow's lunch with Jo Ellen and Don. Although the tomatoes are so good we could probably just have plain white bread!

Carm cut down a giant tree in the backyard that has been throwing lots of shade on the pool and lower deck. It's really opened up the view from the deck and will maybe stretch out the season a bit by letting the sun warm up the water. It was a tremendous amount of work which is still ongoing, although I think he got the last of the wood split and stacked this afternoon. Unfortunately there are a few more that have to be cut down… the darn Manitoba Maples are a pita, seeming to sprout out of nothing into suddenly huge trees that are a challenge to deal with.

Last Saturday most of the family got together for lunch at Mom and Dad's. We were missing a few people but it was still a crowd. Carm was off to his 'friendly golf league' banquet so missed out on some of the fun… he didn't get home until quite late which upset Lupa tremendously… I had to stick her in her crate to calm her down. We know who's dog she is 😉 

The weather has been warm and sunny so far this fall but we are in desperate need of rain. The earth is cracked and dry, even in the area below the house that is usually a bit wet. It's crazy but I guess the whole world is crazy right now… weather and other…

Awesome!

"beautiful fall weather"

"feeling awesome at 63"

i would walk 600 miles

I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 hundred more - do you recognize the song by the Proclaimers? I'll do my own version, substituting 500 miles with 600 miles as that's how far I've walked on the treadmill so far this year! I've done some calculations (I made a spreadsheet!) and would have to walk almost 4 miles a day from now until the end of December to make it to an even 1000 miles… I don't think that's achievable but I'm on a mission to see how close I can get! I love a challenge and goals get me up in the morning!

Yesterday was Pat's birthday so we took her out for supper to the local restaurant in the village and then we came back here for cake and bubbles… and a few more episodes of the show she and Carm are watching together (a bit too much violence for me so I just watch out of the corner of my eye while Doom Scrolling FB).

The days have been zooming by… it seems impossible that we are already ⅓ of the way through September… pool use has gone way down but we were both in for a few nanoseconds this afternoon after cutting down a tree. We were hot and sweaty and the crystal clear waters beconned… thankfully no iceburgs but it was a chilly 17.5C/65F! Yikes! That is really my limit.

The harvest from the garden has pretty much slowed down… there's still all the butternut squash to harvest, a few more tomatoes, and we haven't had zucchini for ages. I still have 2 on the counter waiting to be turned into ribbons for a salad or chopped to be roasted. Last week I made 3 chocolate zucchini cakes for the freezer as well as a few bags of roasted zucchini… the freezer is filled to the brim, and that's after a giant garbage bag of ancient food was tossed. I've got lots of tomato sauce, a bit of roasted zucchini, some cakes, and hopefully some zucchini that can be transformed into scarpaccia on a cold winter day.

I had a few days on my own at the villetta last week for a 'girls' night. Kirsten and I walked a few times a day, I did a long overdue deep clean of the trailer, we played tennis with Nissa. And by that I mean I tried to hit the ball in the general direction of the other person… it was a big excitement to even hit the ball let alone get it over the net!

Last Friday we drove down to the St. Lawrence past some of our old camping stomping grounds. Lots of fun memories! I think we'll plan a few trips back this fall, with the dogs as there are some nice walks along the parkway. We had lunch at a (new to us) bakery in one of the villages. I had a Thai peanut chicken wrap which was delicious. Carm had an equally good Philly cheese steak sandwich. We finished off with butter tarts… our first ones this year. It brought back fond memories of 'buttertart' summers camping at Presquille. Oh so many buttertarts!

We've had some rain but the ground is still dry and cracked in some areas.

Today I'm actually cooking food! There's a soup in the instant pot with the last of 2024 butternut squash (yes!), mushrooms, kale, romano beans, etc… We've had lots of tomato sandwiches over the last few weeks which has been a great vacation from cooking!

Awesome!

"heaps of tomatoes in the freezer"

"birthday cake"

"spending time in the villetta"

"feeling confident driving to Kirsten's and back - I've come a long way with my confidence in the last two years!"

"no cooking for weeks"

the start of better days

Let's give this another chance… I wrote a few paragraphs a week ago but haven't had the mental accum to write any more since… my brain is still not working at full capacity though!

Sunday, Aug 24th…

Well, it's been over one and a half weeks since I last took up the logical pen… It turns out that my immune system was not working well and I ended up with an infection which brought me to my knees for a few days before I finally called the doctor… he took care of the problem and then prescribed 5 days of antibiotics…

I've always been a bit sensitive to medications and this antibiotic was no different as it caused days and days of fatigue and nausea… some of the days I barely moved around the house but gradually I was able to start getting busier. By late last week I was almost back to normal - just in time as there were heaps of tomatoes and zucchini to process and preserve.

Our harvest has been on and off again… the brutal heat of July and the first half (or more) of August slowed down the garden, but with a few cooler days lately it seems to be flourishing… that is, if we can keep enough water on it. It's been a long drought and no relief in sight yet 😞 

I had my last appointment with the radiation oncologist last week - hurrah… now I'll just have regular checkups with my family doctor and annual mammograms. Meanwhile, I'll keep up with a mostly healthy lifestyle and keep my fingers crossed that stopping tamoxifen was the right decision!

Thursday we had Pat over for supper and a tv watching night, then Friday we packed up and went to the villetta for the weekend. 

Carm and I decided Saturday was a perfect day for a drive and lunch out so we headed over to Chaffey's Lock for lunch at the Opionicon, a grand old resort from time past. Sadly, they closed all the accommodations 10 years ago, but 3 restaurants remained on site. We lucked in with a table on the porch overlooking the grounds (sadly not the water though)... I had arancini which are fried balls of rice and mushrooms, an Italian street dish, while Carm continued his quest for the best club sandwich in Eastern Ontario. We took back roads that wound through the wilds of the Rideau Lakes. I would have loved to have been on my motorcycle (oh so many years ago)!

—--------------

And wait! This was yesterday…

so that was 5 days ago and not much has improved. Monday I thought I was getting better so did a bit of resistance exercise and then a walk… well, that wasn't such a great idea as I was still struggling with nausea and fatigue but I thought maybe I could force myself to get better! Alas, it didn't work out that way and I just ended up still struggling…

I also thought it would be a good idea to cut out my sleep aid for a few nights to see if that would make a difference, but then I was just exhausted from lack of sleep and constant hot flashes!

And then, just because my body wasn't assaulted enough, we had our first twinrx vaccination on Tuesday… cue more fatigue and nausea. 

I can't say I'm much better today except I will tell myself that I'm feeling stronger every day and try to focus on the improvement! Goodness knows, I've probably been making it worse by whingeing about my woes ad nauseum!

We did get a day of rain yesterday! Thirty six mm of rain was enough to soak the ground but probably not enough to end the drought…

This morning I walked with June - logically that is! She lives in Basal, Switzerland but with a video chat as we walked it was almost like being in person :-)  It was fun to see more of her neighbourhood. And we managed to chat each other up instead of just complaining about our woes for the win! I did feel better and more energized after our chat - just goes to show how much our thoughts affect our bodies.

Wednesday was a horrific day for the dogs… first they had their teeth cleaned and then their nails clipped - I wonder how excited they will be for the next car ride!

Yesterday I made 3 more containers of pureed tomato sauce - my new method is to roughly chop the washed tomatoes until the instant pot is filled, then 10 minutes at high pressure and a natural release. I strain the liquid out, which at that point is basically tomato flavoured water (I'll call it juice). The rest, pulp and skins is whizzed with an immersion blender and voila! a simple sauce ready to be turned into anything. The only waste is the stem!

I also made Pat's recipe for chocolate zucchini cake - yum! I'll make a few more on the weekend so the freezer will have a cache of desserts.

Oh yes, Monday I also had a great visit with Christina :-) We drank heaps of tomato 'juice' while we enjoyed a cooler day on the deck. Alas, I believe the heat of summer is over and certainly the days of lazing around in the oppressive heat are over as well - boo hiss!

Today is going to be the start of better days… today is going to be the start of better days… today IS the start of better days…

Awesome!

"tomatoes every which way"

"heaps of zucchini, but somehow not enough"