the start of better days

Let's give this another chance… I wrote a few paragraphs a week ago but haven't had the mental accum to write any more since… my brain is still not working at full capacity though!

Sunday, Aug 24th…

Well, it's been over one and a half weeks since I last took up the logical pen… It turns out that my immune system was not working well and I ended up with an infection which brought me to my knees for a few days before I finally called the doctor… he took care of the problem and then prescribed 5 days of antibiotics…

I've always been a bit sensitive to medications and this antibiotic was no different as it caused days and days of fatigue and nausea… some of the days I barely moved around the house but gradually I was able to start getting busier. By late last week I was almost back to normal - just in time as there were heaps of tomatoes and zucchini to process and preserve.

Our harvest has been on and off again… the brutal heat of July and the first half (or more) of August slowed down the garden, but with a few cooler days lately it seems to be flourishing… that is, if we can keep enough water on it. It's been a long drought and no relief in sight yet 😞 

I had my last appointment with the radiation oncologist last week - hurrah… now I'll just have regular checkups with my family doctor and annual mammograms. Meanwhile, I'll keep up with a mostly healthy lifestyle and keep my fingers crossed that stopping tamoxifen was the right decision!

Thursday we had Pat over for supper and a tv watching night, then Friday we packed up and went to the villetta for the weekend. 

Carm and I decided Saturday was a perfect day for a drive and lunch out so we headed over to Chaffey's Lock for lunch at the Opionicon, a grand old resort from time past. Sadly, they closed all the accommodations 10 years ago, but 3 restaurants remained on site. We lucked in with a table on the porch overlooking the grounds (sadly not the water though)... I had arancini which are fried balls of rice and mushrooms, an Italian street dish, while Carm continued his quest for the best club sandwich in Eastern Ontario. We took back roads that wound through the wilds of the Rideau Lakes. I would have loved to have been on my motorcycle (oh so many years ago)!

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And wait! This was yesterday…

so that was 5 days ago and not much has improved. Monday I thought I was getting better so did a bit of resistance exercise and then a walk… well, that wasn't such a great idea as I was still struggling with nausea and fatigue but I thought maybe I could force myself to get better! Alas, it didn't work out that way and I just ended up still struggling…

I also thought it would be a good idea to cut out my sleep aid for a few nights to see if that would make a difference, but then I was just exhausted from lack of sleep and constant hot flashes!

And then, just because my body wasn't assaulted enough, we had our first twinrx vaccination on Tuesday… cue more fatigue and nausea. 

I can't say I'm much better today except I will tell myself that I'm feeling stronger every day and try to focus on the improvement! Goodness knows, I've probably been making it worse by whingeing about my woes ad nauseum!

We did get a day of rain yesterday! Thirty six mm of rain was enough to soak the ground but probably not enough to end the drought…

This morning I walked with June - logically that is! She lives in Basal, Switzerland but with a video chat as we walked it was almost like being in person :-)  It was fun to see more of her neighbourhood. And we managed to chat each other up instead of just complaining about our woes for the win! I did feel better and more energized after our chat - just goes to show how much our thoughts affect our bodies.

Wednesday was a horrific day for the dogs… first they had their teeth cleaned and then their nails clipped - I wonder how excited they will be for the next car ride!

Yesterday I made 3 more containers of pureed tomato sauce - my new method is to roughly chop the washed tomatoes until the instant pot is filled, then 10 minutes at high pressure and a natural release. I strain the liquid out, which at that point is basically tomato flavoured water (I'll call it juice). The rest, pulp and skins is whizzed with an immersion blender and voila! a simple sauce ready to be turned into anything. The only waste is the stem!

I also made Pat's recipe for chocolate zucchini cake - yum! I'll make a few more on the weekend so the freezer will have a cache of desserts.

Oh yes, Monday I also had a great visit with Christina :-) We drank heaps of tomato 'juice' while we enjoyed a cooler day on the deck. Alas, I believe the heat of summer is over and certainly the days of lazing around in the oppressive heat are over as well - boo hiss!

Today is going to be the start of better days… today is going to be the start of better days… today IS the start of better days…

Awesome!

"tomatoes every which way"

"heaps of zucchini, but somehow not enough"

Lindsie's Beginner's Glossary of Horse Riding Terms

I got an email today from a woman involved with a children's project. One of her charges, Lindsie, found my skjennagard.ca website about our horses and used that as one of her resources for creating an amazing web page with lots of information that people, (not just kids), would find informative. I was thrilled to hear that she enjoyed our ponies :-)  I'd love to add a link to her page on my website, but gosh, it's been over 10 years since the last time I made updates and will really have to put on my thinking cap to do so. In the meantime, I thought I'd link to it here so maybe it will get some views. 

Lindsie's Beginner's Glossary of Horse Riding Terms

Please check out her page.

inferno

We must be setting some sort of record this summer… it's been another stretch of blistering hot weather! Today looks like another scorcher… Carm golfed yesterday afternoon - it was 34C - but used a cart so he managed the heat well.., meanwhile, I relaxed on the back deck with occasional dips into the rapidly warming (again) water!

I say I was relaxing… but I felt like a damp wash rag wrung out until nothing remained. I had a really good run of energy and mood but yesterday I crashed in both. We had guests both days on the weekend (more about that later) and had a great time. Lunch both days was easy and mostly made ahead of time so it wasn't stressful, in fact I felt great… until Sunday morning after I got through my exercise… I don't know why but I was totally drained of energy - usually I feel tired but energized after I'm done (I know that doesn't make sense but trust me!)...

Yesterday morning I felt so weak that I couldn't even get through 5 minutes downstairs and forced myself to do a slow walk on the treadmill - if I hadn't been talking to Kirsten I'm not sure if I would have made it! Thanks Kirsten 😀 I wanted to do it as it's a big mood booster and I always feel like I've done something really good for myself… but perhaps yesterday I should have skipped it as it turns out that an injury that I have started to get infected and was spreading quickly, triggering a fever in the afternoon. 

I'm not sure what I did, but by bedtime the fever was going down and the spread of the infection seemed to slow. This morning much of the swelling is down and I have no fever so I'll hold off on going to the doctor. My immune system is working well for me!

I don't know if it was the infection but my mood also crashed, triggering a cascade of unwelcome thoughts… If I'd had more energy I would have made some black bean brownies or some such treat but there's the crux of the problem… no strength to do the things that would get my brain behaving again. Luckily this morning my brain is back to behaving itself! I'll take a day off from exercise but will get some things done instead of just being a lump on the sofa (outdoors this morning!).

Oh, so back to the last few days… we had lots of lazy afternoons doing nothing much last week (hummm - Carm played golf 3 times so he wasn't that lazy!)... the forecast for the weekend showed two more hot days with no storms on the horizon for the afternoon so we sent out a few invites.

Saturday Julie and Peter came for lunch. Carm worked with Pete 'back in the day' - they were married on the same day as we were so we have met for dinner to celebrate our anniversaries a few times and they've been here for parties, but I think this was the first time we had them here with just the four of us. It was a perfect (if a bit hot) afternoon for getting to know them better. 

Sunday it was Tina and Bruce's turn for lunch. As usually happens, they visit on the hottest day of the summer! In previous years they've come only once, and always around the beginning of August, often in hopes of seeing some meteors. This year they came in June as well - also a scorcher! I love having people over on these hot days - as long as they are swimmers! No hanging out in the AC for me on these hot days - they'll be over soon enough…

Awesome!

"picking food from the garden"

"eating food that we've grown"

quietly content

Carm was off golfing yesterday afternoon so I blasted the music blasting while I twirled around the house from distraction to distraction, leaving a trail of destruction and half worn clothes behind me. Half worn clothes? I've been trying on everything that I've purchased this summer for our trip! And since I really have no where to store them, they end up draped over chairs and beds! The spare room is a disaster, but only needs 30 minutes to be guest ready :-)

Today his golf game was early in the day so I slept in and then after a long leisurely cup of coffee, got walking… I felt good with barely a twinge in my back - hurrah!

I know that I go on about plant-based eating and trying to keep up with healthy eating but it's such a big part of my life that it's hard not to talk about it! I'm not trying to be superior or holier than thou… I don't feel that way at all, in fact I feel very much the opposite… but it's a daily struggle for me… and not a one and done thing! 

It's like if you got a new car… you'd talk about it for a bit then forget about it… unless you were having to deal with issues all the time in which case it would be a regular topic of conversation 🤣 pretty lame analogy!!! It's getting late 🫩 

I find it easy at times to just say to heck with it but then I remind myself that this is for long term health and vitality and get back to it. I've got lots of motivational videos saved to inspire me! Of course it helps that I feel great so it's hard to defend sitting on the sofa all day!

I read something about passion and discipline yesterday that really hit a chord - it's discipline that gets me to show up for myself everyday, even when I really don't feel like it. Oh sure, there are days when I can't get it together for much at all or maybe even manage just a walk, but I really want to try to limit those days. The last 2.5 weeks have been a setback but I'll pick up where I left off and get going again… soon.

"Discipline is what gets you out of bed when motivation is gone.

Discipline is what makes you practice when you don't feel inspired.

Discipline is what turns an amateur's dream into a professional's reality." unknown 

A few days ago I was feeling really great mentally and more like myself than I have for ages… it was wonderful but I didn't fully trust it which makes me a bit sad… it lasted for a few days then faded back to normal but I've had a few glimmers since… 

But what is normal? I've been medicated for over two decades and don't remember what it was like before. I do know that the meds flatten me out so that sometimes I barely feel anything but it's better than feeling like death! Hmmm, I'm going to rephrase that… I sometimes feel nothing but when I'm in a good space I feel quietly content which is actually pretty awesome and I'm grateful for that.

The weather has still been dry but has been a bit cooler. I'm sad to say that I didn't get myself outside at all today, it was breezy and a bit cool for sitting around outside… so other than a few trips out with the dogs I didn't venture out… oh, that's wrong! I did dunk myself into the 70F water this morning after my walk and other exercise.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm running out of zucchini! Yesterday I made 3 lemon zucchini loafs, today I roasted a bunch that I'll freeze to add to pastas in the winter, which has left me with just two small ones left! I might roast them tomorrow and hope that there are a few hidden out in the garden.

A few weeks ago I started following this fitness guy on FB - he's pretty fit and has some amazing fitness routines set to music which is all fine… however, the women that drool over him on his page are disgusting! Like have some self respect for goodness sake! And don't say gross things like 'he cured my menopause'... ugh… If he was a young woman that older men were gushing over everyone would be up in arms, but for some reason there's a double standard going on here!

Awesome!

"a full on walk"

"sunny summer days"

"freezing swim"

"a few days of feeling good"

"being happy with my life"

getting more mobile

Today I managed a full intensity hour long walk! The first in over 2 weeks. I even managed some extra weight bearing exercises as well! I feel like I'm almost back to normal… hurrah and finally, although I do have to protect my back a certain amount still. I just have to watch that I don't overdo it as I can push myself too hard at times… I don't know exactly what I did, but it sure put me on my back foot for days and days…

Yesterday I managed some time in the kitchen and came up with a few new 'recipes'... Pat was coming for supper and I wanted to zoosh up the black-eyed pea burgers that I already had in the freezer. I'd seen some things on FB that were basically a bit of grated cheese, some thin ribbons of zucchini, topped with a bit more cheese and then baked in the oven till crisp. That worked well so I stepped it up a notch and added some thinly sliced tofu that had been marinated in teriyaki sauce and then roasted with a bit of garam marsala sprinkled on (I'd skip this and use a different spice instead - maybe smoked paprika). I spread some chopped sun-dried tomato, red onion, garlic, la bomba spicy sauce, with a tiny bit of zucchini just to thin it out. The spread was pretty spicy so I didn't use much of it - next time I'll slather it on as the heat got lost in all the other ingredients.

Carm picked up some brioche hamburger buns which fit the burgers perfectly. All layered together, with a bit of ketchup, they were awesome! And much less work than the sandwiches that I made for Pat a few weeks ago… although the black-eyed pea burgers were already made, but I sometimes make a huge batch of them to have handy in the freezer…

Some zucchini salad with a lemon dressing and roasted radishes rounded out the meal. It was a good one and even better cause we could eat outside! Yesterday was a beautiful day, not too hot with low humidity. Unfortunately there was a smoky haze that blocked out some of the glorious sun.

We've had the sun shade up for a few days now!

Awesome!

"even more summer days!"

"black-eyed pea burgers"

"slowly getting more mobile"