floundering in life

 The birds were singing and the sun was shining this afternoon. The day started off cloudy but as we finished strapping on our snowshoes, the sun broke from the clouds :-) It was gorgeous! Blue sky, white snow, above 0 temps - it felt a bit like spring. 

Motivated by the warmer weather, and perhaps also from chatting with Kirsten, I folded up the burgundy blankets, pillows, and other decor to switch back to the blue that I love. I think I’ll start frequenting our local thrift store for some blue & white pottery - I have a few pieces but given how much joy they give me there’s room for more!

This morning I read a short book about Positive Thinking. It had lots of good ideas, including many that I already practice (but could do better - a goal!)... it also highlighted some thinking that needs work.

I sometimes feel that I’m floundering in life with no clear direction or goals and I think that might be part of the root of the occasional anxieties that I’ve had, especially over the last year. At the beginning of the pandemic my goal was clear: focus on doing things to improve my mental health. That first year of lockdowns, which could have been filled with anxiety and stress, was one of my best years yet… I can’t pinpoint the exact reason but think it might have something to do with expectations - I was managing them - I had a clear goal - I had very few ‘shoulds’ and I let myself ‘off the hook’ for some sorts of things. I focused hard on finding the small pleasures.

Since last year, starting with Spike’s passing, I’ve forgotten about this goal, or if I haven’t exactly forgotten, it’s not been my focus. But also, it’s time to start looking for other goals, things that will get me out of bed in the morning with anticipation. But what?

Some of my satisfaction comes from time in the kitchen. There is something about making food that gives me a feeling of contentment topped with a bit of achievement to ice the cake. It’s a bit granola/pioneer woman/farmers wife… In many ways, feeding people is my love language. It makes me happy so I’ll do more of this! Is it a goal? I’ll find a way to make it one. 

I want to embrace my inner Aunty Rena!

In those first days of the pandemic I made it a mission to cook new recipes every week… I’ve been coasting for a while so it’s time to get back to experimentation. Maybe I need to do a Julia Child challenge :-) Today I made tortillas to have with our lentils & red peppers. They were good! And so incredibly easy, although somewhat time intensive, not that time is an issue for me most days.

What gets you out of the bed in the morning? (ha ha! I just inserted the photo of Lupa above this sentence and yes… she gets me out of the bed in the morning… whether I want to or not!)

Awesome!

“sunshine”

“fresh tortillas”

“Leaping Lupa in her snowsuit”