three times 21

Thank you for all the birthday wishes :-) It seems like just last year that I turned 21 but also another lifetime ago… multiply that by 3 and here I am! Three times older! And maybe 3 times better! 

Thinking back to my 21st birthday is like visiting ancient history - from what I remember, I was living in Ottawa with my boyfriend Steve and our friend Alan in a 2 bedroom townhouse. My parents had come to visit, maybe bringing my brothers, but I don't remember Kirsten being there. I remember being sad as I knew it would be the last time I'd see Thor, my childhood dog. I got a briefcase from Mom and Dad, and some table legs and a bench from Steve's family. I still have the bench (it's in the main bathroom) but the briefcase is long gone…

I seem to remember struggling with a bit of depression at the time but that was a common occurrence back then, maybe even more so than now. I know I didn't have the self confidence I have now, that took a long time to develop (and I credit much of that to Carm's unwavering support)... If my fairy godmother showed up with her wand and offered to send me back to that time, I would refuse! Twenty one wasn't my best year, in fact it was during that year that I first came closest to ending it all… it was actually a really terrible year! 

Multiply 21 by 2 makes me 42 years old, another turning point year. On my birthday I was on sick leave with major depression… I hadn't been diagnosed bipolar yet, that would happen at the beginning of October of that year. That was a pretty tough year but I learned so much about myself and it started me on the path of learning how to better navigate life… 

I'm not unique in having obstacles - everyone has challenges thrown at them and I know you are all awesome at dealing with everything. It was actually a bit depressing to look back but after thinking about it for a while, I feel good about my journey and feel that there were way more ups than downs.

This year? I feel great physically and emotionally. So yeah, life is good now!

Today the sun is shining and it's a balmy 25C, perfect for a trip to the golf driving range. We went on Monday and I was able to hit the ball reasonably consistently… but only for 80 yards max… today I struggled a bit more but I was feeling tired from walking over 8km in the morning and my arm was still a bit sore from a vaccine yesterday. But it was fun! Next summer I'm going to try to work on hitting the ball so that maybe I could do an actual golf game ha ha!

We did get into the pool briefly this afternoon… just so I could say I did! It was a chilly 19C or 66F… brrr.

We are still eating tomatoes and hope to have a few more before the week is out. I'm not sick of them yet! I've started the process of making focaccia for tomorrow's lunch with Jo Ellen and Don. Although the tomatoes are so good we could probably just have plain white bread!

Carm cut down a giant tree in the backyard that has been throwing lots of shade on the pool and lower deck. It's really opened up the view from the deck and will maybe stretch out the season a bit by letting the sun warm up the water. It was a tremendous amount of work which is still ongoing, although I think he got the last of the wood split and stacked this afternoon. Unfortunately there are a few more that have to be cut down… the darn Manitoba Maples are a pita, seeming to sprout out of nothing into suddenly huge trees that are a challenge to deal with.

Last Saturday most of the family got together for lunch at Mom and Dad's. We were missing a few people but it was still a crowd. Carm was off to his 'friendly golf league' banquet so missed out on some of the fun… he didn't get home until quite late which upset Lupa tremendously… I had to stick her in her crate to calm her down. We know who's dog she is 😉 

The weather has been warm and sunny so far this fall but we are in desperate need of rain. The earth is cracked and dry, even in the area below the house that is usually a bit wet. It's crazy but I guess the whole world is crazy right now… weather and other…

Awesome!

"beautiful fall weather"

"feeling awesome at 63"