celebrate

Ten thirty am on Sunday… the rhythmic ‘whosh’ of the dishwasher lulling me into a groggy doze on the sofa. Last night we hosted a little birthday party for Trudie which must have been a bit of a success as the last people left at 11:30! 

We were all happy to gather to celebrate with Trudie - her birthday often goes uncelebrated as they are usually somewhere warm this time of year… alas, I believe southern trips are off the table for them going forward though… life sometimes throws curveballs that hit us out of nowhere and somehow we just have to cope and do our best to make each day count.

We basically did a ‘re-do’ of the New Years Eve menu with a bit less food - almost everything got eaten so I didn't way way over cater!!! Jirina brought homemade cream puffs which were absolutely wonderful :-) Who doesn't love a cream puff? Gio brought a giant panettone imported from Italy. It has to be the best panettone that I've ever had - it was so light and fluffy and the flavour so citrusy :-) Marie brought a huge tray of cold meats - I think she overcaters as well!

Lupa of course loves these gatherings… once she gets over her initial apprehension, then she's all over everybody's laps, settling for a few minutes with each person before moving on. I've long given up trying to train her away from guests, but it's a losing battle as most people seem charmed to have her visit them… speaking of Lupa - today is her 3rd ‘getting day’ anniversary! It seems we've had her forever, but it's ‘only’ been 3 years! She was a little puff of scraggly hair ❤️ The first few weeks I lamanted getting her… I was still grieving for Spike and with her few weeks of nightly diarrhoea, and non-stop motion, I was seriously sleep deprived. But here we are now and if I were to go back in time, I'd still pick her 😀 

Last night was our 5th ‘gathering’ here since mid December which is some sort of miracle as there have been many days where I've barely gotten out of bed and I'm pretty sure I've worn the same clothes for a week… I've felt a bit perkier the last few days - I think the benefit of having a responsibility that cannot be shifted to someone else (and Carm is very good about picking up the slack when I'm down), should not be downplayed. I had to get up and get things done so guess what… I did. It wasn't easy at first but it did get easier.

I did spend 3 days this past week in a bad way though… perhaps the worst I've been for ages… I wouldn't say I'm exactly depressed but I was well on my way to getting there. I don't feel sad or like crying, but I do have an overwhelming feeling of dread and a strong desire to isolate. Staying in bed with the curtains drawn and the covers over my head was about all I could manage. When the chemicals shift in my brain, words get stuck in my throat making it difficult to communicate… It's like being in some sort of mute grey cocoon devoid of caring. Cause that's really what it boils down to - I just didn't have the energy to care about anything…

I don't give him a shout out often enough, but gosh, I don't know where I'd be without Carm's constant, steady presence… The last year has had a lot of ups and downs and some challenges, but everything felt doable with Carm by my side. And on those days when I can barely function, I might not say much but I do appreciate his support and that he doesn't put extra pressure on me… I'm generally hard enough on myself!

Awesome!

“gathering of friends for Trudie's birthday”

“cream puffs & panettone”

“Lupa making new friends”