hope smiles from the threshold

The sky pressed down on us, the grey merging with the dingy snow. It’s a familiar sight as it seems the sun was left behind in 2019, although there was a faint glowing circle low in the sky where the sun might have been.

I ventured out a few times, dogs leaping ahead of me, seemingly unaffected by the gloom. It started snowing which might be considered pretty if my eyes hadn’t been dulled by the malaise that comes from a lack of sunlight. At least it covered the slick ice…

With music thumping I got busy and removed Christmas from the house. Not winter, I leave the little trees with their bright led lights, and the green sweeping garlands out until March. The sparkling lights lift my spirits and the green is a nice foil against the grey. 

Then I played with Adia a bit, thinking that mental exercise would substitute for some of the physical exercise that has been missing. It seems to have worked as she was quiet for much of the day. Spike joined where he could without her stomping over him. 

Much of the rest of the day I savoured some short stories by Alice Munroe. I wouldn’t say that her stories are uplifting, because they aren’t… they are actually a bit depressing, but she has such a way of phrasing things. I read bits over and over, vainly hoping that some of it will rub off.

Last night in keeping with my goal of good mental health, Jo Ellen, Don, and Romy came for supper. The dogs are starting to get along better - I think we just need to let them work it out themselves, (keeping them safe of course). Still, by the end of the night we had three sleeping dogs ignoring each other. 

On this day last year we were in LA, a few days before getting on our cruise to the Panama Canal.

“Hope

Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,

Whispering 'it will be happier'...”

~Alfred Lord Tennyson

lofty goals

I didn’t make any resolutions this year, at least not formal ones, instead I thought more about goals… the first of which is to put a bit more effort into writing. Part of that will be to spend more time reading, with extra attention paid to sentence structure, vocabulary, and the art of telling a story. I always find my writing improves if I spend a bit of time with Alice Munroe and others of her ilk.

I’ve signed Adia up for some obedience classes starting next week with the goal of having her trained enough to test with Ottawa Therapy Dogs, hopefully by the end of this year. She’s a bit of a nut and pretty excitable so this might be a challenge, but if I could train Spike to be a service dog and accompany me to work, it should be easy to get Adia to therapy dog level. I’ll have to get cracking… her training has been stalled since before we went to Europe.

It goes without saying that my most important goal is to keep myself well. Last year I worked hard to keep my mood stable: lots of candlelight suppers with guests (a’la Keeping Up Appearances), and getting myself out of the house. I tried to pay attention to my thoughts and where they might be leading me astray. I’m pleased to say that 2019 was my best year in decades and I anticipate that 2020 will be even better! I don’t think I even had one day in bed with the covers pulled over my head :-)

Speaking of milestones, we passed the anniversary of our 9th year of retirement at the end of December. I had a dream/nightmare about work a few weeks ago, but that’s the closest I’ve been to the office in ages. Even when Jo Ellen visits we rarely even broach the subject, except to maybe say that we got out in the nick of time!

On our little road trip today we stopped at PetValu to look at dog toys for Adia. She’s a heavy duty chewer so her rope toys are just about ready for the garbage… but we don’t think they are the safest toy for her. But she does love cloth things, hence her collection of towels and facecloths by the bed this morning… all my clothes were safely stowed in the closet with the door firmly shut… so I wanted something fabric. There was one toy that I thought looked like it might do, but Carm didn’t think so. Nothing else spoke to us so we left empty handed. I’d put a pineapple chew toy on our Amazon wish list so ordered that on our way home. I can smear peanut butter or tripe in the groves to keep her occupied. 

Yesterday we took another road trip: a loop that started at liquidation and ended at Costco. So many stops! The best stop of all was at our little Pho place that is tucked in a grungy strip mall. So good!

“Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”

~Hal Borland

auld lang syne

The Rose Bowl parade just ended, the traditional bleary eyed, and sometimes hungover entertainment for New Years Day. This year there is no hangover, but I can’t seem to keep my eyes open after such a late night. 

Overnight going into the 31st we’d had freezing rain followed by snow. It was beautiful but we worried that the weather wouldn’t improve for supper (it did).

It was early in the day yesterday when we heard that Jo Ellen and Don wouldn’t make it for supper - she had a tummy bug. We were disappointed but understood. I reset the table. Then a few hours later Jim let us know he wasn’t coming. I reset the table. New Years Eve was starting to look like a bust with just 2 guests joining us. I texted Kirsten and told her that if anyone else cancels I’d pack up supper and descend on them! We knew last week that Shawn’s schedule was such that they couldn’t join us here :-(

A text later in the day that Shawn’s schedule had changed… I was slow to figure it out but suddenly it hit me - maybe they could join us after all as long as we had a late supper. A quick phone call and it was settled, we were going to be 8 for supper!!! I was excited and quickly got busy resetting the table (third time a charm!) I happily unearthed another set of fancy plates and glasses. 

All the work the previous two days paid off as it was a rather relaxing day. I had a schedule on the fridge so I’d know when to do the last steps - I get rather distracted once guests arrive and can get off track.

Cathey was the first to arrive and we sat visiting while I put the final touches on the mushroom crostini. Cheese, baby tomates, and olives, gave us something to nibble on. Pat was next to arrive and we all quickly got talking. Then Kirsten called to say they’d be a bit earlier so I put the soup on a little earlier. The beef went in. Kirsten, Shawn, and the girls arrived. Now it was a party!

I was so happy to have them all there that I had a foolish grin on my face all night. Shenna and Nissa probably thought I was demented!

We gathered around the table for the final meal of the year. As I looked around I couldn’t help but think of my good fortune. Carm, at the top of the table, was my rock. He’d been a full partner in all our preparations, much like he is in the rest of my life. Friends Cathey and Pat were on either side of me. I felt blessed to have these friendships. And then, at the other end of the table were Kirsten, Shawn, Shenna, and Nissa. I was filled with the warmth of love looking at them - I’m so glad they moved back to Canada. There were absent friends and family who were thought of fondly. 

I thought back to the past year - it was a bit of a rollercoaster: trip through the Panama canal, trip to Caribbean, Kirsten’s visit… then there were a lot of tears. Kabira, then Bella, and finally Carm’s mom, left us. During all of this was news of Kirsten’s return, Adia’s arrival, and then our trip to Europe.

Cathey deeked out early, leaving the rest of us to shout out the final 10 seconds of the decade. The new year was off to a great start!

“What is there more kindly than the feeling between host and guest?”

~Aeschylus