condensed into a bottle

 Iˋm rocking gently on the swing bathed in the scent of wildflowers. The hot and humid air has trapped the fragrance; if it were condensed into a bottle Iˋd have the perfect winter room freshener. Alas, all Iˋll have is my memory of this perfect morning.

Music was blasting until I picked up my tablet to jot down some sentences for my blog - I need less distraction to fish up the words that will form my recollection. 

Itˋs beautiful here… the plants on the deck are lush and colourful; the view across our land is pastoral; the cool blue waters of the pool are a contrast with the parched, hot landscape; the hawthorn trees in the summer pasture have already started turning reddish brown giving texture to the land. I wish I could paint. The buzz of cicadas remind me that itˋs August and that summer will soon be over.

The sky is not cloudless… fluffy clouds are slowly gathering together… I imagine weˋll have thunderstorms this afternoon. (edit: no thunderstorms yet at 6:30pm)

Not much has gone on over the last week (yes! a full week since I posted). We got home from Kirstenˋs on Tuesday, in time for Adiaˋs mani/pedi. Sunday Spike had 2 pee and 1 poop accidents in the trailer so obviously his schedule was mucked up… I stayed with the dogs for most of the day Monday, not wanting a repeat. In the shade of two sprawling locusts Grace enjoyed her time outside while I relaxed, ready to host Graham and Kirsten for leisurely visits. I think we were all a little tired though from fun the night before! The dogs also relaxed in the shade, Adia choosing to spend some of her time baking in the sun while Spike sprawled on the grass, sound asleep. 

Carm golfed a few times. Heˋs up to his 34th game this summer - his legs look like Iron Man legs after all those steps.

The weather has been a mixture of hot and humid with a few days of impending rain so we havenˋt had anybody over to visit. Except Pat - she came one sunny midday when the shade was still on the deck for a lovely visit. 

The days have been lazy with not even much cooking. Very lazy.

Iˋve been getting into the pool almost everyday, missing only a few days this summer. The weather has been hot and cold so thereˋs been a lot of arctic swimming! Iˋve set up an outdoor shower on the back deck so most mornings swim, shower, then swim again. It is a certain kind of bliss feeling the water from the hose turn from hot to icy cold.

I did have a few days where my mood plummeted but thankfully with a bit of hard work I was able to get that turned around. As a reminder, I just saw another article about being grateful for the small things in our lives. Itˋs hard to remember but is a good habit to get into!

Awesome!

“heady scent of wild flowers”

“the distant sound of a lawnmower”

“hearing exciting news”

“reading about my last few weeks of work before retiring”

“picking a giant yellow summer squash - Iˋll make fritters tonight”

“harvesting big handfuls of lemon-thyme”

“a monarch butterfly”

rekindle

 It had been years since weˋd seen them but our seats hadnˋt even warmed the chairs before it was like weˋd seen them yesterday. I often think that Iˋm so chill, but I had tears in my eyes when we left. Ruth used to hand raise our baby parrots; Carm and John played golf together so weˋve known them for decades!

Itˋs cooled down tremendously - we went from a sweaty sleep to one burrowed under the covers. But thereˋs not a cloud in the sky to shadow what will be a perfect day for hanging around outside. 

On Ray Bradburyˋs writing advice Iˋve started a list of words and phrases that will hopefully trigger some memories that can be woven into stories. I had trouble coming up with words other than what I could see around me, let alone a story about it, but Iˋll persevere. Iˋd like to get back to writing like I did when I was part of the writing group.

We had a conversation last night about the steadiness of our emotions and if they fluctuate wildly or are a smooth line. I realized suddenly that Iˋve finally settled into a into a comfortable evenness, but more than that itˋs become a pleasure.  For years I struggled with feeling flat, it seemed so blah after years of ups and downs, but now I welcome the feeling. Awesome!

Iˋm on real medications for bipolar but on a lark in January I started taking CBD daily. I have now had 7 months with no anxiety (which was a nearly daily experience), and not only that, I feel great! Almost euphoric but not quite. Iˋm pretty sure Iˋm not having an extended period of hypo-mania although in some ways I feel like I do in the first few hours/days of that mood shift. It might be psychosomatic but thatˋs okay too :-) 

Awesome!

“catching sight of old friends”

“gathering around the table for fun conversation”

“stepping into the villetta”

“Grace said ˋOh my Godˋ when we stepped back into the camper”

“flashes of insight”

dugout

 No precious moments were dredged from my memory today, instead the story of a strange man clawed its way out of the tar pit. 

~

It happened when I was 7 during summer vacation on one of those carefree days that seem to stretch into eternity. I was horse crazy even then and rode around the base where we lived, my bicycle standing in for a four-footed steed. There was nowhere that my blue pony wouldnˋt take me and I ranged far and wide.

One morning I ended up near an old baseball field so I dropped my bike and went to investigate. The dark shadows of a dugout caught my attention - stepping down into the cavern the smell of old urine clogged my nose and as my eyes adjusted to the dark a man stepped out of the shadows, his pants down. I remember staring for a moment and then turning to run, his image forever seared into my brain.

I got outta there fast and probably peddled hard until I was in more familiar territory. Was I in danger? I donˋt know. I may have just interrupted some strange man with a fetish for baseball or maybe he followed me there, Iˋll never know. 

I donˋt remember it affecting me much as I probably just chalked it up to experience and I certainly didnˋt tell my parents as I knew enough that my bike riding would be curtailed. I remember stopping at home for lunch, sitting at the table, my feet dangling, and eating a peanut butter sandwich. But that might have been another day.

~

The weather has continued to be hot and humid, a final blast of summer. Of course it means lots of dips into the pool and dinners of salads with pan fried meats. I made the tastiest chicken breasts the other day: first they were cut into cutlets, then pan-fried in a mixture of butter and garlic olive oil. When they were done I set them aside and added more garlic and a dollop of cream. In just a few minutes the tasty sauce was completed. Easy and a new favorite!

I think we harvested our last zucchini :-(  Next year when we plant the plants from the nursery weˋll toss a few seeds in as well for a staged approach. I want more zucchini bread! I saw an interesting recipe with nuts and dried cranberries. And I saw an interesting recipe that includes garlic, lemon, thyme, basil, walnuts and zucchini.

We gave a try at clipping Spike a few days ago but he was almost hysterical so I gave him ¼ tablet of trazadone and waited for it to take effect. It did the trick (mostly) but gosh he was stoned for almost 2 days. Luckily we had a vet appointment for something else so I was able to talk to Dr. Cardi about it. Weˋve got another drug to try if ⅛ of a tablet doesnˋt work. Poor little guy!

Awesome!

“makeshift outdoor showers”

“garlic”

“Adia doing the zoomies in the field”

“walking through acres of wildflowers”