Saturday, October 28, 2017

I saw a bee

I saw a bee today. And Carm is out golfing. Is it really the end of October, or perhaps time stopped a few weeks ago and we are fresh out of September. The trees with naked branches reaching for the sky tell me no.

We’ve been doing the long field walk the last few days. I finally have enough energy/strength to get all the way around. For several months my limbs have been like rubber and I haven’t had the energy to do much more than exist. Something was wrong but I didn’t know what. A few visits to both my doctors showed that my thyroid levels were low and my lithium high. Since the two are known to operate hand in hand we tried the easy change first, so I lowered my lithium dose last Thursday. It wasn’t an immediate change, but over the last week I’ve gotten stronger every day. I’m glad to be feeling so much better, but a little bit peeved with myself for not pursuing it earlier - I more or less spent my summer on the sofa and often didn’t even have the energy to get to the swing.

Of course the question of why my lithium was so high is a big unknown. Hopefully it won’t shift again and leave me manic or depressed and without a doctor to fix me…

Back to the field! The dogs are doing so much better as well - were they mirroring my energy or is the cooler weather energizing them? Maybe they are in better shape since our trip to the bird sanctuary (where I did do some walking but at a snail's pace - I’ve always been a speed walker but couldn’t keep up with Carm). Regardless, they are running around and having fun in the field again. I bring lots of treats to reward good recalls and Spike has restarted his thing where he waits while I walk ahead and when I turn around and give him the signal to come he runs as fast as he can to me. I sometimes get pretty far from him too. It always makes me laugh and of course he gets a tiny treat.

Yesterday Carm helped me get both instant pots fired up with pumpkin soup. I made enough for 7 suppers for two of us, so there are 6 in the freezer - that’s six nights that I don’t have to cook :-)  We had roasted brussels sprouts on the side last night but a kale salad would work too.

It's difficult. I take a low dose of lithium nightly. I take an antidepressant for my darkness because prayer isn't enough. My therapist hears confession twice a month, my shrink delivers the host, and I can stand in the woods and see the world spark.”
~David Lovelace

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