I will

Yesterday a photo of Spike and I at the office popped up from ‘this day’ in 2009… it was maybe his first day at the office as a service dog… Coincidentally, yesterday was also the 3rd anniversary of his death. I won't lie - I had a tiny cry but also took a few minutes to think about how much Lupa has partially filled the hole in my heart that he left gaping. She's curled up against me on the sofa as I write this, warming my legs, and my heart. ❤️ 

The days are racing to Christmas and yet all I have is the tree up for decoration. I got Carm to carry it upstairs last week and that's about as much effort as I've put in and it was Carm that put in the most effort. I don't want to be a whiner, but I will for a minute… since August, when I started the tamoxifen, I've been draggy and low. Not terrible, just not motivated. Everything is an effort. Luckily, I've had 20 years of overcoming lethargy to practice getting myself going! Most of the time!

Today I put a single word on the treadmill to motivate me: THRIVE. That's what I want to do and keep doing! Most days I put in a herculean effort and walk for an hour - today I did 3.8 miles, over half at 6% incline, a bit at 7%, and the rest at 5% - and have been adding 10 minutes on the bike and today a few minutes with weights and planks. By the time that is all done, I'm finished for the day and barely get anything else done… but I'm at least getting fitter! I still see improvements in my muscle tone and am excited to start the weights for my upper body  😀  My legs are in great shape and are so much stronger than when I started last February.

We had doctors appointments yesterday, just the usual annual prescription renewal and overall checkup. The doctor came in fresh from seeing Carm so he'd already heard about our weight loss and my exercise, and of course our plant-based diet. I lamented to him about having to exercise for an hour and restrict my calories to keep the weight off but he confirmed that it's a common theme for women who lose a lot of weight, especially at my age, and to just keep doing what I'm doing. He asked if I was planning on losing more weight and was supportive for another 5 pounds to come off. He also reiterated that keeping the weight off and keeping up with the exercise was important for long term health with regards to breast cancer. 

And that's what motivates me the most - keeping cancer at bay. I don't think of it often, and usually only in a ‘third person’ sort of way, but sometimes when I'm justifying my choices I think to myself: ‘I just fucking had fucking cancer! and have to take drugs for another 4 ¾ years! to reduce risk of a reoccurance’. If that isn't motivation to eat healthily and exercise I don't know what is!

The doctor has also set me up for a holter monitor and referred me for a heart ultrasound to make sure that my abnormal ecg results are not an indication of anything serious! When I was in for surgery last May the nurses and doctors kept making comments about my low heart rate and I had to reassure them that it was normal for me.

Not everything has been a drag though! Last Friday I met up with Kirsten and Mom for our annual trip to Ikea! We poked around for hours and of course stopped for lunch - who can pass up the meatballs, mashed potatoes, gravy and lingonberry jam 😀 I chose the plant balls rather than the meat balls which I actually prefer. They were moist and flavourful. Unfortunately they don't sell them frozen or I would have brought some home with me. I have a couple of nice plant ball recipes so I'll have to get busy in the kitchen - they are a lot of work though!

I've gone from being hot all the time to freezing all the time! Not sure what has precipitated that change but I'm not happy about it! Carm has been my hero by taking the dogs outside most of the time so I don't get even more chilled. xoxo my honey

Well, that was more than a minute of whining! Sorry!

We've had a lot of meals on repeat this fall so this week I've been trying to make some new things. One night we had lentil loaf with mashed potatoes & green beans, but also chopped up some peppers and sauteed them with garlic, ginger, basil, and a bit of kale to use as a side. It was good! Tonight I roasted sweet potato cubes, and in another pot sauteed garlic, ginger, chopped red peppers, cherry tomatoes, kale, Thai garden red curry paste, and white kidney beans. We tossed it with the sweet potato and some roasted broccoli for a flavourful dinner.

I find it too easy to get into a cooking rut and all my old favorites are off the table as they have ground beef or pork in them  😞  As it is, yesterday I made a giant pot of soup which we will eat for supper several times this week! Thank goodness that Carm loves soup and would eat it everyday without complaint ❤️. 

Awesome!

“seeing new muscles in my legs”

“dogs asleep in the afternoon”

“my new earbuds!”

“giant pot of bean & vegetable soup”