October fifth… the deck has been put to sleep for the winter. Summer is now officially over - boo hoo! Carm hoisted giant pots of plants into the house and then we wrestled the sofa & chairs in… the house looks like a showroom from ‘the Brick’, with four sofas and an extra chair! It's also a bit like a jungle in here and who knows how many earwigs got transported into the house. But here we are… for another seven and one half months… yes 7 ½ months!!! OMG.
I don't remember the exact day - it was somewhere between the 3rd and 6th of October in 2004 that I got hit with my bipolar diagnosis - yes, TWENTY years ago! Gosh, it seems like forever ago. I remember sitting in that blue armchair like it was yesterday, reeling like I'd just gotten a life sentence…
It was early in the week and Carm was scheduled to leave for a business trip on the weekend. I was suicidal with a plan… thankfully I was thinking clearly enough that I had Carm hide away everything that I needed and then hunkered down for a week on my own… I was able to get friends to come visit some of the days, and Carm phoned a few times a day, but I was mostly alone… I didn't even have work as a distraction as I had started 6 months of disability leave… it was a long and hard week, perhaps the worst week of my life, but I made it through!
It's been a journey for sure, but overall, I'd have to summarise the two decades with ‘life is good’!
Today I'm thinking that the fatigue is soon going to pass - I did 70 minutes on the treadmill and got off feeling pretty good - not good enough for situps, but good enough to do ten squats… yes, just 10 but that's more than I've been able to do for ages! Things are about to turn around! (does wishful thinking help? or is it more toxic positivity!).
Awesome!
“getting the plants in before the first frost (maybe tonight!)”
“the ferns”
“dogs sleeping in a sun spot”
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