baseline

This is going to be a long and whiney, repetitive post so feel free to skip reading!

The last few days I've been mentally struggling with getting my head around this illness and what it means for me… I'm deep into the book that I downloaded (Get Your Life Back) which is helping but making things worse. It's given me a plan for recovery but honestly, the plan sucks.

I go back and forth on what is real and what I am making up in my head. Is my own brain imagining my fatigue and illness and if I could just convince my brain that I'm actually fine I'd be back to my old self? Or is it real and my body truly is sick - or maybe both can be true at the same time? I feel stuck in this conundrum.

From what I've read, it is a true medical condition where the mitochondria are not working well to produce ATP which is the energy for our cells. There are other aspects to it, but they boil down to this (from what I've understood so far). How did it happen? Sometimes it can be triggered by a cold or flu, or sometimes by extended stress. I didn't have a cold or anything when this all started - although I'm not really sure of the initial stages. Did the stresses of last few years (Mom’s cancer, my cancer, Mom's meningitis, Graham's passing, Dad's failing health, the situation south of the border, pushing myself to exercise and get fit) finally overwhelm my body? I don't know and I guess it doesn't really matter because here I am now.

A few days ago I felt optimistic -  “I've got this”. I'd had a busy week last week which made me feel pretty sick but was recovering and had a few better days. I was keeping within an energy window - in other words I wasn't doing much… I would have a leisurely coffee in the morning, walk for 10 minutes on the treadmill, rest for a while, do 20 or 30 minutes in the kitchen, rest, take the dogs for a 10 minute walk in the field, rest for a few hours, make a simple supper, and maybe some light puttering throughout the day. After 2 days of this I woke up feeling pretty good. Mentally I felt good! Physically, I was a bit fatigued but not dragging myself, and was not feeling nauseous or dizzy. My brain was not in a muddle for a change!

That was a good day. I did my usual morning routine, including 10 minutes on the treadmill (just 10 minutes!), then we went out to a shop in the village - a 30 minute outing. I did a few other things throughout the day but nothing energetic.

The next morning I woke up exhausted, fatigued, and feeling sick to my stomach. One of the hallmarks of me/cfs is ‘post exertional fatigue’ or PEM. It's a 24 - 48 hour delayed response to ‘over-doing’ it. I know that this was not in my head as I was NOT expecting it at all and thought I was starting to be on the mend and that it would be another great day. This was not part of the plan!

From the book, the first step in recovery is finding your ‘baseline’. Or the amount of energy that you can expend without triggering PEM. I guess I've found my baseline and it's not great. It doesn't even include a 30 minute outing! Friday, the first day I crashed, I did the bare minium… no treadmill, minimal time in the kitchen, not much at all. Lots of lying in bed or on the sofa, trying to read or listen to the book but having no luck as my brain fog was brutal.

Yesterday we had to drive to get the dog's raw food - it's a 45 minute drive each way but even as a passenger it was exhausting. We got home, got the food into the freezer (after rearranging and shoehorning in the blocks of food), and then I crashed for the rest of the day. I felt nauseous, dizzy, and exhausted. There were times when I could barely get the energy to take another step. How am I today? Not great but not the worst either, but mornings are usually my best time. I've started doing supper prep in the morning while I still have energy…

So there we have it. My baseline is low. I can barely do anything other than the absolute bare minimum. I cannot get myself to accept this! I'm supposed to find my baseline and stick with it for 2 to 4 weeks until fully stabilised, and then I can add a tiny bit more activity while keeping within my energy budget for another 2 to 4 weeks. This continues until I am recovered in 6 to 12 months. THIS FUCKING SUCKS! How am I supposed to do basically nothing for so long?

We are going to the trailer for 2 nights this afternoon so we'll see how that goes. It's an hour in the car but no traffic so it's a little easier on my brain. Then at the trailer I have to walk the dogs a few times a day. A few weeks ago we were there and I actually had a few good days, so maybe even with the extra walking and socializing I stay within my baseline… or worse, maybe my baseline has gone down even lower since then… I guess the next few days will tell.

I usually go to the trailer with heaps of food, but this time, tomato sandwiches… I did make focaccia on one of my better days last week which has been in the freezer. A tomato sandwich on focaccia is not a hardship and in fact I can eat them day after day without getting tired of them! Thank goodness Carm has no problem eating sandwiches as that's pretty much all I've made lately.

I can see now why so much of the book focuses on mindset and acceptance. It is impossible to recover if you don't accept your limits. This is the hardest part. I don't tend to have a ton of patience and do have the habit of pushing myself. I'm finding it very difficult to accept that this is my reality, at least for the next little while. 

I'll finish with a small whine about missing out on my trip to Alberta for my cousin Aura's wedding… she danced at my wedding as a little toddler - I'd hoped to dance at hers… I don't cry for myself much, but this did bring some tears to my eyes…

—-----------

I have friends going through even worse things so I feel bad about complaining - I have it easy! But I've found that I can have two opposite truths: it sucks, but it's good (i.e. it could be worse). So I'm grateful but railing at the same time! And I see that almost everyone has something that they struggle with - I don't want to dismiss their reality!!! Maybe I've articulated some of their own mental struggles…

 —-----------

The weather has continued to be on and off again. And the mosquitos are still keeping me off the deck :-( Today it is pouring rain… yes, more rain!!! There were even more mosquitos when I took the dogs out a few minutes ago - they seem to be able to manoeuvre through the raindropp. It's been the wettest summer on record - the grass in the hayfield never browned off, the grass on the lawn has been growing at a ferocious rate all summer - no late July/early August reprive…

I'm going to end this by saying that yet again, Carm has been my rock. I don't know what he thinks about all of this but he has been doing double duty in keeping the household going. And all without a complaint, although he did have trouble understanding that I physically couldn't rotate the king size mattress yesterday!

Awesome!

“a freezer full of dog food”

“cheerful budgie chatter”

“and yes, tomato sandwiches again/”

mindset

I got a little bit of puppy therapy this afternoon 😀 Kirsten dropped by with their new family addition, a 13 week old Swiss Mountain/Bernese Mountain dog mix. He's totally adorable and will grow up to be a gorgeous guy! We wanted to introduce him to our crew - Adia was very interested and perhaps a bit pushy with sniffing, while Lupa was totally out of control and had to be leashed the whole time.

We did a lot of approach/retreat which eventually led to her ‘quietly’ sitting - and by quiet, I mean totally focused on the next bit of food I'd give her! Still, it was progress and while it would be great to have a ‘simple’ dog without all her baggage and high anxiety, it's not our reality - at the end of the day, I have to deal with the dog I have in front of me, and not some hypothetical dog that doesn't go to 11 on the dial!

In the same vein, I'm learning to deal with my reality and also learning that I can't force my way to better health… I've been researching me/cfs as that's my likely diagnosis - much tracks exactly, including periods of PEM, or post exertional malaise.  PEM is a delayed response to over exercition, physical, mental, or emotional. It doesn't always show up right away but often the next day or even the day after that. All my years of record keeping is coming in handy - I've even added a few more fields to track energy and level of awfulness so that I can see more detailed trends.

A few days ago, I realized that I could continue to rail and rant against what is happening to me or I could accept that this is my new normal and build from here. I immediately started to feel better, not physically yet, but mentally. Some of my reading is depressing - not everyone gets better - but I've also stumbled on positive ideas for recovery. Some of what I read suggests that pacing and not pushing is what will trigger recovery… I had the start of a plan!

Making that simple change to my thinking made me feel more positive and that I am going to get through this! I started getting videos in my feed from an organization called CFSHealth. They have a 4 week recovery program but it's $500 - I'm not desperate enough for that yet, so I’ll see what I can do on my own.  BUT! Yesterday afternoon a post came up - they also have a book - which turned out to be free through Amazon's music & podcast app! The timing was perfect.

The first few chapters have been about creating a growth and recovery mindset which I was already developing so I'm on the right track. Part of the mindset is taking responsibility and not waiting for someone else to fix it… that's the easy part for me in some ways - I've spent 22 years taking responsibility for bipolar, so this is a natural step.

Now I'm reading about pacing and how important it is to keep within my energy envelope - it boils down to gentle activity with rest periods before my energy is too low. I’ve already adapted to having less energy - I've gotten used to my arms and legs feeling like lead! But now I'm learning how to listen to my body better - when my head starts to get fuzzy and dizzy, and the fatigue drags at me, I stop what I'm doing (this is the hard part! Don't finish the dishes!) and lie down for a little while, then I can build enough energy for another bit of activity. I'm learning that the trick is to stop right away which is against my normal way of being - I tend to push, push, push myself which only sets me back and even lowers my baseline.

So here we are… I'm learning to listen to my body and to be patient with myself. It is what it is, and fighting it was just making me progressively worse. But now I have a guideline and a plan! This is what I'm good at!

Through all of that, we had a busy week that I'm finally recovering from - no nausea or dizziness for me at all today or yesterday… 

Last Tuesday we had supper out with Leo & Eleanor, then Wednesday Tina & Bruce came for supper and the night. They left around 11am Thursday, so I rested for a few hours before heading to my parents for a farewell dinner for Kari. It was not a great night for me - I felt awful: sick and tired. The fatigue is bad - it can be like moving through quicksand, but the sick feeling is horrible. I had to leave the table after I finished eating to lie down in a chair. I had flights to Alberta for my cousin's wedding - leaving tomorrow - but I realized that there was no way my body would deal with 6 days of travel… luckily it wasn't a huge penalty to cancel my trip. I'm sad not to go and will miss out (too much FOMO!), but it was a relief as I honestly didn't know how I would pull it off!

So much for the shoe shopping!

Anyway, Friday was a rest day, with a bit of cooking to prepare for Sunday. Saturday was Trudie's celebration of life. We gathered at the cemetery - it was a beautiful day - and then reconvened at a community centre for some reminiscing. I think Trudie would have been (mostly) happy with how it turned out…

Sunday Jo Ellen, Don, Deirdre, and Chris came for lunch - how many years did I have morning coffee with Jo Ellen and Chris. I'd need more than my fingers and toes to count them out. Tomato sandwiches again! The joy of August has to be the never ending stream of tomato sandwiches! Wednesday second supper, Friday supper for just Carm and I, Sunday lunch, last night's supper, and finally today's lunch with Kirsten. All on tasty homemade focaccia! I made a new batch of focaccia to take to Kirsten's next weekend for yes, more tomato sandwiches! hurray!

Yesterday Mom & Dad dropped by to bring their budgies for us to babysit for a few weeks :-) They are a bit freaked out still, but eating and starting to sing a bit. It's a lot for them to take in!

I do have one major complaint to make though… the mosquitos are HORRIBLE! They swarm as soon as you step out the door. Even the back deck is uninhabitable… I tried with no luck to read outside this afternoon. We took down the shade and came inside. Boo hiss! There isn't much summer left for the deck. We've never seen them so thick and aggressive. I can't recall ever being forced inside from the deck except at dusk. Never during the day 😞 

We have been seeing lots of giant dragonflies though! Did you know that hummingbirds also eat tons of flying insects?

Awesome!

“tomato sandwiches”

“Kirsten's new puppy”

“a visit from Mom & Dad”

“friends together”

7 zucchini on the counter

So much time has passed since I last wrote (July 20th!) but nothing much has changed. Summer is racing by and it seems like it will be a short one this year 😞 It started late and the weather forecast going forward isn't great… last week we had 217mm of rain - that's over 7inches! The hayfield swale is still draining water, the creek was in flood, and the ground everywhere is saturated. It's the total opposite of last summer which was such a drought that even the car wash places were closed!

Today is gorgeous though! I stupidly wrote down the wrong time for my doctor's appointment this morning so I drove all the way there and back for nothing - 55 minutes wasted - dooh! That used up my allotment of energy for the day but luckily Carm was back from golf to drive me back this afternoon.

I did get some time to sit outside! Last week we had so many rainy days, and then there are the days when it's too much effort to even take the cover off the sofa out there so today was a bonus :-)

I still don't know what's wrong with me… 😞 My doctor and his resident are leaning towards me/cfs but I have more blood tests to rule out a few other things. I thought I was starting to be on the mend last week so started with a bit of time in the kitchen, then after a few days 10 minutes of walking, gradually increasing to 20 minutes, but then I hit a wall again and I'm back to barely able to do anything. My arms and legs feel like jelly… Even cooking can be a trial as I get so tired that it's all I can do to stay standing up - at times I feel such a strong need to lie down that the floor seems an option -  I've managed to keep upright so far!

It wouldn't be so bad (yeah right), except that when I get really tired it's like having a horrible hangover - my head gets foggy and dizzy and I feel nauseous on top of barely being able to move. It's really frustrating! I am so over this!!! It's time to get better now! I keep singing a little song to myself about all my cells being happy and healthy which may or may not help (but doesn't seem to hurt at least!).

We spent a few days at the trailer last week with Kirsten. Carm didn't have golf so he hung around as well. We did discover that a lightning strike took out our tv, furnace and airconditioner… luckily we had cool nights so we were able to sleep. We met up with the insurance adjuster yesterday to get the ball moving. It's too hot for the next week to do sleep-overs there though!

Kirsten and I spent some time at a dog show that wasn't too far away - she was interested in the St. Bernards (and we saw a couple of very sweet dogs). I don't need another dog at the moment but did meet two ladies with schnauzers and gosh, I was very tempted to get another puppy - which would be absolute insanity right now with my energy levels!!! But wouldn't it be fun for Lupa to have a sister her own size 😀 

Oh, and we went shoe shopping one day when I was feeling a bit better. I ended up with two pairs to try out at home - I like to test them out on the treadmill to see if they'll work on my fussy feet! I'm keeping both pairs ;-)  One is a pretty pair with sparkles (of course!) to wear for dress up times, and the other is a platform shoe, less dressy but still nice. Two weeks today I leave for my cousin's wedding in Medicine Hat and now have my dress and shoes sorted!

I see that I mentioned doing a ‘stress test’ in my last post. Well, I did it and it went well. It showed something possibly unrelated, but overall it said I had above average fitness and the technician mentioned that my heart rate recovered quickly. So at least my heart has been ruled out! My blood work ruled out iron, thyroid, b12, d, blood sugar, etc. Which is good I guess, although I'd hoped it was just a low iron issue which would be easily sorted out!

I have been complaining about my energy levels, but I guess I'd be remiss if I didn't also mention the heaps of zucchini that I've been dealing with! I made 2 loaves of a lemon zucchini cake last week. Then I used the mandolin to do long thin slices that I layered with homemade tomato sauce like lasagne. I cooked it for a bit, and then cut it up and airfried sandwich sized pieces. A sandwich with prosciutto (the one processed meat that I will eat as it has no additives), some black olives, fresh mozzarella, and a stack of zucchini slices makes a 5 star meal! So messy but delicious. I had it again tonight - yum!

Monday I thinly sliced some zucchini for a salad, but never got around to adding the dressing (which I did make)… tomorrow I might mix them with a homemade pesto, eggs, and lay them out on a baking sheet to cook. Maybe for a sandwich or maybe just to eat plain.

Well, this was just a whining post. I know that others have it so much worse than I do so I feel guilty about complaining… I try to keep that in mind and to be grateful for everything good in my life!

Awesome!

“the rain finally ending - should we start building an ark?”

“getting sandals!”

“lots of zucchini”

“just one schnauzer who likes to cuddle against me”

what is lovely never dies

We lost a dear friend yesterday. Trudie was an incredible woman, full of energy and life. There was never a person that she wouldn't give the shirt off her back. She was generous almost to a fault. And she was always up for a party! Trudie & Leo were neighbors to the west of us, a mere kilometre of farm fields between our homes. Over the decades, many nights were spent together - the weather was never too bad for supper and a glass of wine (or two).

Trudie had a green thumb the size of a planet - her yard was filled to the brim with plants, flowering and otherwise. She and Leo would shlep pots and pots to and from the greenhouse every spring and fall, creating a backyard paradise. Her two magnolia trees in the back were magnificent! We have a giant Katalpa tree that was a baby from the giant one in their backyard.

We always figured she'd be close to immortal as her strength of will seemed impossible to tamp down, but alas, her body betrayed her and struck her down with PSP (Progressive supranuclear palsy), which is related to Parkinson's. It took her quickly. But now she is with all her dogs, birds, cats, and other creatures that she loved so much.

We got the call yesterday morning so quickly got cleaned up and drove to their new place a few villages away so that we'd be with Leo when they came to get her. It was sad for sure… We stayed with Leo then drove Andre home… my head was spinning for the rest of the afternoon…

This morning a bunch of us gathered with Leo for breakfast at our local greasy spoon. We made a pact to stay in touch… Trudie was the central character in our friend group. 

Again, I was exhausted when we got home so stayed in bed until supper time. Sometimes even sitting up seems too hard. I've been keeping my daily steps low which helps a bit, but I don't feel like I'll be on the treadmill anytime soon. I'm scared that I'll get stuck mentally and keep myself feeling low even if my body has recovered… am I really tired or just tired because I keep telling myself I am?

Tomorrow I have a treadmill stress test at the Heart Institute which will hopefully exclude any heart problems (and honestly, that is the last thing that I think is wrong with me - I think my heart, while weird at times, works pretty well!). My follow up appointment is in two weeks but I'm hoping for a miraculous recovery by then!

What is lovely never dies, but passes into another loveliness, star-dust or sea-foam, flower or winged air." — Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Awesome!

“friends coming together”

“eggs benedict”

“zucchini from the garden!”

a long and whiny post

It seems that I have fallen off the face of the earth, but no, I'm still plodding along. I've been having increasingly worse fatigue and can now barely get out of the house without a crash that puts me in bed for a day or two… not sure what's going on - I've had a few tests on my heart which have been fine but am scheduled for a ‘stress test’ on Monday, my blood work shows no problems - it's all a mystery. 

I'm pretty discouraged as it's not something that I can push myself through, infact it makes me way worse. I haven't walked on the treadmill for over a week - I stopped all together when I could only do 10 minutes - I don't think I could even do 5 now…

My years of mood and exercise logs have come in handy as I've been able to give detailed information about the ups and downs I've been experiencing since March to my doctor. There is a definite trend and unfortunately it's not going the right way! He has some ideas, but we have to do some more testing before a diagnosis can be made… meanwhile my fingers are crossed for a miraculous recovery!

Anyway, aside from that, summer is progressing quickly! I can't believe that tomorrow we'll be half way through July! We've had a good run of hot days without thunder storms so have been enjoying the deck and its shade cover. Today it will come down as the forecast has some pretty wicked weather including the possibility of tornados and large hail - ugh!

We've been managing a few visits a week with Trudie in the hospital. Her spirits are good but her body is not cooperating with her - we wonder if she will be able to go home again 😞 

A bunch of us were signed up for the Girls Mud Run this weekend but I've cancelled for this year and hope that next year is better! I was so excited for the challenge but know that I couldn't even walk the 5k, let alone do any obstacles. It's hard for me to not rail against myself!

It's been so long since I wrote that even Canada Day passed without a post! On 30th, Ken and Francine came for lunch - unfortunately it was a stormy day so we were stuck in the house. Later that evening Olaf & Steph arrived for supper and an overnight stay. Kirsten, Shawn, Mom, and Dad, joined us here on Canada Day for lunch - it was a scorcher but we managed a few minutes outside before we had to dismantle everything for the storm that was bearing down on us.

As it turns out, it was a good thing we put everything away, including the shade cover, as we were hit with what felt like the edge of a tornado. I watched out the back window to see one tree fall into the hay field and a walk around later showed another big tree down at the side of the house. It was a dozy! I've never seen the trees whipped around so much! 

Luckily everyone made it safely home, although some had to skirt trees on the roads!

Sadly, I still haven't recovered my energy from those few days :-( Lupa has been glued to my side and sometimes won't even go outside with Carm without me also going… she's a bit of a pita!

Oh! And we had a lovely visit with Carm's brother :-)

Awesome!

“summer days”

furniture

Since the last time I wrote, just after we returned from the rally, summer has mostly deserted us… we’ve had a few weeks of rain and cold with the odd bit of nice weather as a teaser. Yesterday was beautiful - we were in the city with appointments and errands - and today is gorgeous as well. It was actually nice enough to FINALLY bring out the patio furniture this afternoon. I'm writing these first few paragraphs outside on the sofa! Hurrah!

The wind through the trees is the perfect accompaniment to the sound of birds singing to their babies. There seem to be nests everywhere - between the trees that just won't stop growing, the grass that Carm is in a constant battle with, and the birds, squirrels and chipmunks, it's a riot of life.

We’ve only been swimming a handful of times because of the crappy weather which keeps the pool temp low. Today it reached a balmy 72F/22C… the perfect temperature for an in and out but not for floating around for ages…

The plants on the deck are struggling - some didn't come through the winter with flying colours… the ferns really took a beating, palms are mostly dead, coelous is leggy and ugly. Will a few more weeks of sunshine help them recover? Some I think are too far gone but it's too late to get replacements. I just won't take photos!

Carm’s been getting lots of rounds of golf in… I haven't been up to much other than lazing around trying to get myself going… I've had no energy to do much beyond a slow walk on the treadmill - I'm hoping to get my energy back soon!!!! It will happen! This is just another infernal blip…

Last Thursday Steph came to pick me up for a girls night at Kirsten's. We had a fun time with some black humour hilarity bringing tears to my eyes, I was laughing so hard. Why is it that the awful things are the funniest once the immediate trauma is gone?

Saturday I made heaps of cardamom buns for the family gathering on Sunday - Father's Day and a hurrah to Shenna for becoming a doctor. 😀 Mom made ‘Christmas Morning Wife Saver’ which is an egg, bread, cheese, and ham extravaganza - it wasn't Christmas but we enjoyed it just as well!

Awesome!

“finally getting patio furniture outside”

“a sunny June afternoon”

“finding a dress for Aura's wedding”

“summer suppers of salads”

home again in both places

It's blistering hot out today which is awesome because we are home and the water in the pool is the perfect temperature, cool but not cold. I had my first outdoor shower of the summer! Hurrah! It maybe wasn't so great for Carm as he started to tackle mowing the long grass… he got the front done, muscling the hand mower for over one and a half hours.

The last few days of the rally have melded into one reel of scattered memories. Tuesday night we joined everyone at a Bavarian restaurant for schnitzel and borscht - both were delicious. I think I skipped the campfire that night - I was mentally done! 

Wednesday morning we did the normal coffee gathering and from there I joined Candi, Fran, and Hazel for a little shopping trip to the outlet stores. It was a lot of fun! It was great having a few extra eyes to give feedback - Carm always says everything looks great - which I know is not true - so it's not the most helpful. These ladies gave awesome feedback! 

I tend to not join in to group activies… I'm not sure why, maybe slight shyness or awkwardness. Maybe slightly low self-esteem and the fear that I won't fit in. You'd think that with a childhood of moving schools every 2 years that I'd be good at developing friendships but I never learned that skill. I remember many times as a child standing at the edge of groups but being too anxious to join in. It's strange because in general I'm fairly self confident (or at least I think I am). I stepped outside my comfort zone more this trip and I'm so glad that I did. I got to know a few more people better which left me feeling that I'd missed out on knowing them all these years! It's a lesson to be learned!

I even joined the ‘games’ afternoon and had a blast! John had organized 5 games: bocci, corn hole (such a strange name!), ladder ball, ping pong into cups, and finally kicking a soccer ball through a maze. It was lots of fun even without alcohol and even though I was pathetic!

The crazy thing is, everyone is lovely and so inclusive!

Finally at the end of the day Wednesday, everyone piled into trucks for the farewell dinner at the Mandarin restaurant. It was a huge ‘Chinese’ food buffet - of course they had the regular stuff like chicken balls and fried rice (hard pass on both), but there were tons of stir fry type dishes, a decent General Tao chicken, and a myriad of shrimp dishes. There was also freshly carved roast beef. Oh, and a bit of sushi. I went up THREE times! We sat with Mark & Marilyn, and Terry & Hazel. We know Mark & Marilyn quite well but this was the first year that we'd spent much time with Terry & Hazel - they are so much fun!

Thursday we got up early and after a walk and a coffee started packing up. After our good-byes we were on the road towards Kirsten's at about 10:20, arriving there around 11:30. Carm backed the trailer into the driveway like a pro and then drove straight into our ‘spot’ hitting the exact place that puts us level! Even the satellite dish was easy. It's great to be there - it feels like home and I LOVE our coffee mornings with Kirsten! Mom, Dad, and Aunty Kristine arrived a few hours later for a visit, and then at dinner time we got together with Kirsten, Shawn, and Nissa for pizza before retiring for an early night.

Both Shawn and Carm picked up a tick somewhere on the laneway 😞 Freaked out a bit by that!

Now that we are home, it's time to get back on track with eating! We ate like crazy, and nothing particularly healthy - there was barely a vegetable to be seen!

Awesome!

“shopping with the girls”

“getting to Kirsten & Shawn's”

“seeing Aunt Kristine”

“a great slice of pizza”

“getting home”

lazy day

Today the summer sun is blazing in the sky - it's a warm high 20s - too hot for a really long afternoon walk but we did amble the lake loop, taking our time and pausing in the shade occasionally. The dogs didn't seem too bothered but I didn't want to stress them. 

We fed them early tonight as we were meeting up with everyone at a restaurant about 25 minutes from here - they’ll have a bit of time to digest and won't feel stressed by hunger while I lock them into the bedroom. They are really calming down - I think they are exhausted! But Lupa is still pretty interested in other dogs but passes some without too much excitement.

And Lupa does make some noise when we leave them :-(

This afternoon as we wandered down the back forty road I let myself be immersed in the moment. A breeze warmed by the sun caressed my bare arms. The smells and sounds of summer were heavy in the air. The fragrance of grass drying in the sun combined with the odd flowering shrub for a perfume that would sell millions if only it could be bottled up. Birds were lazily singing their songs of joy. I tried to soak up every ounce in the hopes that I can conjure up the experience on a day that isn't so wonderful.

In the distance was a small flock of swans - floating white dots on a sea of blue. Yesterday I saw close to a hundred out farther on the lake! The giant family of Canada Geese must have moved on to another part of the lake but the evidence of their presence was still visible on the road!

Awesome!

“huge flocks of swans"

“a leisurely morning coffee with the dogs chilling out on the grass”

“a few quiet hours in the afternoon”

“our site is booked for next year”

under stormy skies

The days here in Kingston have been passing by quickly. Saturday we went back to the outlet stores with Marilyn and Mark - I left them with Carm at the Columbia store and I deekd off to spent a sack full of money at La Vie en Rose! Everyone else came out of the various stores with bags of dresses and shirts. Happy shoppers!

Storms were threatening the evening so Marilyn and Mark brought their supper over to ‘our place’ for a sharing supper - sort of an informal pot luck! Luckily we had kept tabs on the radar so we set up the table inside - we were toasty and warm while it bucketted rain outside. After the dishes were done, we played a fun game called ‘Mexican Train’. We'd never even heard of it before but it was great fun - we'll be purchasing a game when we get home! Perhaps I thought it was fun because I won 2 out of the 3 games 😉 Winning is always fun!

Sunday morning was still a bit drizzly so we took a quick walk first thing. By mid morning it was drier so we headed out on another walk. My mind is foggy though - I know we joined the coffee group for a while in the morning. Christine and I took the dogs on a one hour walk at noon. Then at some point we gathered again. Then it was time for a pre supper walk for the dogs (so many walks as Adia hadn't pooped yet! and never did yesterday…). Then it was time to get cooking for the pot luck supper. I brought Greek potatoes which are super easy to make. I pre-make the seasoning packet so just have to cut up some baby potatoes - no peeling - toss them with the seasonings, juice of a lemon, and some stock into the instant pot. Cook for 10 minutes, release pressure. Remove potatoes, add butter and reduce. Spoon sauce over potatoes. 

The supper gathering was a far cry from years past when the picnic tables would be lined up in a long row - there must have been more than 10 tables all those years ago. Last night there were 4 tables and one of them only had 2 people at it… But even with fewer people, there was a ton of food! And everyone is such a good cook! I ate so much that I barely had room for dessert and certainly no room for a bedtime snack!

The dogs have been steadily getting better. They are nowhere near being as good as the ‘old dogs’ were, but considering the time they've spent camping I think they've handled it very well! I think walking 15,000+ steps a day is helping them be a bit more calm 😉  I even brought them over to the gathering tent this morning where they eventually settled on the blanket that I laid out for them. They remembered a bit of ‘hop it up’ from a few years ago… still, a work in progress.

Today the sun is shining - it is an absolutely glorious day - clear blue sky, not too hot, not too much wind. Perfect for walking! Carm and I did the lake loop first thing this morning, then at 1 Christine and I took the dogs through the whole park for a good hour long walk! Everyone was dragging their feet when we got back - thankfully it’s not too hot. The dogs got another pre-dinner lake loop which is about a 20 minute walk at a slowish walking pace - I think it tracked at 2500 steps on my fitbit. And then of course a shorter bedtime walk. I'm certain that they will both crash for days when we get home! As it is, the walks are getting less and less exciting for them…

Marilyn and Mark joined us for supper again tonight - this time outside under the gorgeous blue sky. It was a perfect evening… until the mosquitoes started their onslaught! Still, I braved the ‘campfire’ till past 9:30.

Awesome!

“walking with Christine”

“supper with friends”

“Adia walking past the guinea fowl without too much trouble (much better than yesterday)”

“perfect morning”

“getting a nice compliment”

enchantless

Our property is no longer enchanted, at least where ticks are involved :-(

With shorter and warmer winters the ticks have been slowly moving into the area - at Kirsten's, just an hour away, the ticks are thick and it's not a surprise to pick one off a dog even though they have tick protection. Here at home though… I've seen one in all our years of living here… until a few days ago… Carm got in from cutting the grass with a little bugger just latching onto his leg. I got it off him right away so no chance to spread Lyme (we hope), but I've got it saved in a bag just in case.

And now we are fully in tick land… we arrived at the Ti Rally just before 1pm yesterday after an uneventful drive. Even the 401 was okay with hardly any traffic. I stretched the preparations out over a week so there was no stressful last push, in fact, even the last minute fridge stuff was loaded on Wednesday so it was an easy morning with just the tires to check before we hitched up. Oh sure, there were little odds and sods, but there was enough time to relax with coffee and have a good breakfast.

The dogs were excited and a bit energetic on their leashes for the first walk around the lake loop, the second time out was better, this morning was great, and this afternoon in the heat was even better. However we didn't pass any other dogs this morning - that is our challenge with Lupa! She did stand around with another dog yesterday without making a fuss so I take that as a win! Neither dog has had any training or even leash work since last summer at Kirsten's and I don't feel that walking down their road is much of a challenge - there are rarely other dogs.

Of course it's great to be here after pretty much missing two years! The crowd has thinned noticably and there are only 2 titaniums so far - there used to be close to 40! Most people have traded in - some for class-B’s (easier for travelling), some for giant new trailers, and some for smaller more mobile units. The last year titaniums were built was 2010 (which is when ours was built) so they have pretty much aged out. Ours is still in pretty good shape but we do have some delamination (a leak in the wall) and it needs a really good cleaning. I hope it will be our villetta for many years yet!

We took a chance this morning and left the dogs locked in the bedroom while we ventured out for some retail therapy! Carm scored a nice summer shirt and another golf shirt. Oh, and some badly needed sandals. I got a totally unneeded bathing suit! Well, not totally unneeded 😉 I'll wear it on our November DR vacation! We might have to make one more trip to the outlet centre to check out the Laura store :-)

Last night everyone went to Raxx for ribs - I stayed behind as I wasn't sure about leaving the dogs just yet. Tonight I joined everyone at Raxx (again!) for their banger steak special! It seems to me that they have an excellent wing night on another night…. who knows, maybe all the food I packed will stay uneaten!

Awesome!

“getting here in one piece!”

“spending time in the villetta”

“visiting with everyone”

“a beautiful morning walk”

“giant flock of Canada Geese with dozens of little babies”

mornings

My mornings have started by stepping out the front door, into a virtual bowl of potpourie scented with lilac and honeysuckle. Some mornings I wander out with just a light sweater - this morning I put on my puffer coat! It's been blowing a gale for over 24 hours now! Yesterday though, I couldn't remember the last day that I had to put on a coat - how that can change in an instant! 

After a wander down the laneway to check out the apple blossoms (which are all gone now), I head back into the house for a coffee. I have been taking a detour to the back deck to check out all the little seedlings that we've planted.

I've been slowly dragging myself out of the pit I've been in… getting the garden planted and the deck outfitted with plants has given me a bit of a mental boost. Carm wrestled the plants from the living room and basement over a couple of days - some of those pots are big and heavy! The plants don’t look that great but a few weeks of real sunshine should perk them up. Last year I was pretty sure we should get new coleus, but all three plants made a miraculous recovery… I don't think that will happen this year so I'll keep my eyes open at the nursery!

Pat came for supper on Monday… she'll be back here for a week while we go to Kingston for the annual Ti Rally at the beginning of June. She'll take care of Grace and the plants. We've missed 2 years of the rally - 2024 because of my cancer surgery; in 2025 Mom was in the hospital. The dogs are out of practice being in social situations so it might be a bit challenging at times! I should be practicing ‘mat’ so they can sit outside with us without being a pain!

The trailer prep is going well but it seems as soon as I check something off my task list (hurrah for Google tasks), I add 2 more! Still, most of the work has been done… I did some cooking today, and there are a few odds and ends, but the important stuff is done. 

This morning I got up early so that I could get through the first part of my task list before my walk with June. So by 10:30 I'd made a rhubarb cake, airfried 3 blocks of tofu, made a giant pot of caramelised onions with red peppers & cherry tomatoes. When it started to ‘dry up’,  I tossed in some Thai basil and then put it in a few jars for the freezer. I'll be able to use it on pasta, with beans, or spread on naan for a pizza… After all of that I even managed to bath the dogs as well as a few other tasks! It was a busy day 😀 

The weather has been nice, but not particularly hot so pool use has been limited. We've been in a few times but it hasn't warmed up beyond 68F/20C… the other day when I went in it was 66F! That is a literal DIP, not swim! I did swim to the middle of the pool (not all the way across!), but then was out warming myself in the sun on my little deck chair.

Awesome!

“morning wander”

“lilacs”

“the grass is so green”

“fresh rhubarb”

“jars of rich tomato & peppers”