Saturday, December 9, 2023

Old wild men

More grey skies today… fitting as Kirsten had to send Murphy, their English Cocker spaniel on his way to rainbow bridge. He turned 16 yesterday. Anyone who has lost a beloved dog knows how sad it is to lose them no matter their age and also knows that the loss sometimes squeezes your heart so hard the tears can't help but flow.


Monday it will be 2 years since Spike went on his final journey… that was such a hard day… most of the time I can look at his photos with a loving remembrance, only tinged with sadness, but today the sadness has settled into my heart, as sadness has touched the hearts of Kirsten and her family. Hopefully it won't be long before it eases into loving memory.





Murphy and Spike were only a few months apart in age, and I envisioned a few years of the ‘cousins’ enjoying each other's company in a doddering old way… now they can be together in our hearts only.




When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."

- Kahlil Gibran


I really have no excuse, but the last few days I've been so lazy! I’ve had no motivation to throw flour and sugar around to dance some cookies in and out of the oven! I have looked at the list of cookies I've made in years past but haven't even decided which ones to make… For sure I'll make shortbread and gingerbread. And also the cherry filled ‘topsy turveys’, perhaps the chocolate crinkle cookies, and probably the serinakakers too. I love the aperol spritz cookies and the cardamom cookies too, so if I get really motivated… 


Christmas is bearing down fast so I'd better get busy! Only 16 days! 



Awesome!


“birds finding the feeder”

Tuesday, December 5, 2023

ring that bell!

 It was an emotional few minutes this morning as Mom emerged from her last radiation treatment and rang the bell! There was a rushed flurry of photo & video taking… I should have stuck with photos as I don't seem to know the video controls of my phone camera - dooh! Luckily Kirsten got a great video - not sure about Graham's photos.



Saturday's birthday dinner for Marie was great fun with lots of spirited conversations and laughter. And we were home by 6:30! 


Trees from tiny to tall spewed from a bunch of plastic bins and bags on Sunday. Garlands supplanted window swags, gold bows glimmering under the coloured lights strung around the living room. The Christmas tree was triumphantly carried from the basement to its December place of honour.


opening her last present from the basket of daily gifts that Kari and her siblings sent.



Of course I spent a ‘certain’ amount of time looking for one wayward tree and a few angels. I'd like to say that it was a joyous day but unfortunately rummaging through our house full of junk dashed my spirits… Once it was done with all the candles and fairy lights, I sat back and felt happy, or at least as happy as I could with snow in the forecast... 



Part of my angst was triggered by the upcoming storm bearing down on us. The plan was for me to drive into town Monday afternoon to spend the night at Mom & Dad's in readiness for today's early morning appointment. No big deal right? Ha ha, for most people but I have an irrational fear of driving in the snow… like an almost freakout fear… I’d rather not be so stressed out but no matter what I tell myself, panic sets in. As it turns out, the snow stopped by midday on Monday, so by the time I left for the city, the roads were reasonably clear but slushy… Thankfully the traffic was light so I was able to take my time and I did it, sure my knuckles were white but still!



Kirsten spent the night too, so we had a nice little family evening with Mom dozing in her chair.



Awesome!


“the trees were gorgeous”

“arriving at Mom's safe and sound”

“twinkling lights”

“coloured lights”

and the most awesome of all?

“Mom's last radiation appointment!!!”

Saturday, December 2, 2023

pre mania perhaps

 The following was from Thursday morning… as happens so often, I failed to post right away, thinking that I'd do it later… but… here we are on Saturday afternoon!


I read a book once (decades ago), where the heroine had big thumbs (a quick google search for books with a woman who has bandaged thumbs garnered the correct book! ‘Only Cowgirls Get the Blues’). Why did that book pop into my mind this morning? Well, I've got a giant bandage on my left thumb since I sliced it open on a can in the recycle bin. Ugh. Yesterday I put on my task list to tidy one shelf of the pantry - I got on a roll, and Carm started helping by emptying and washing all the containers, plastic and otherwise, of ancient food, so I felt motivated to finish!


The chaos was slightly overwhelming - I almost gave up a few times - but perseverance along with Carm's help, got the job done! At the end of the cleaning frenzy, the recycle bin was overflowing with cans and plastic containers so I pulled it out and started organizing it to make more room - just as I was pulling my hand out - slice! blood! youch! So… now I have a giant bandage on my thumb.


Tuesday we had our biannual trip into the city for the dentist. We have our appointments coordinated which makes it more efficient - parking downtown can be tricky, not to mention the traffic is crazy around there, so I like Carm to do the driving!


The sun is peeking through the clouds this morning and it was sunny yesterday (but bloody cold and windy)! Hurrah for a bit of sun… we did get some overnight snow Tuesday night which is lingering… I think it's supposed to warm up to 6C today, so perhaps it will all disappear (one can only hope).


Those pumpkin muffins that I thought would be so great… mouldy :-( Note to self: freeze individually and thaw as needed. boo hiss! With my thumb all bandaged up it is nearly impossible to wash dishes etc, so I'll have to wait a day or two to make a new batch. It seems I've been experimenting on mould growth as I unearthed the rest of the orange cake and it is mouldy too, although I was expecting that.


I've been making a lot of cakes lately and have been throwing out the last few pieces as I get sick of them pretty fast. I don't recall ever getting sick of cookies so I think I'll transition my baking and start practising for Christmas baking ;-)


—--------


Back to today! We had a quick trip to Costco with Mom. Carm went off on his own as he likes to zoom through, while I stayed with Mom. It was so busy and we figured if we split up we wouldn't have to worry so much about getting separated… how many times has Carm been at one end of the store while I search through the crowds for him at the other end! Poor Mom didn't get to browse like she might have liked too - but maybe it's better to get out of the covid cesspool asap!


Yesterday I took Mom to her third last radiation treatment! She also had an appointment with the speech therapist - she's a lovely lady who was very encouraging and upbeat. There are some exceptional people on the cancer treatment team! Mom is pulling through like a trooper but is getting more fatigued, which is not helped by the terrible nights and (lack) of sleep she's been having.


I should backtrack quickly to Thursday after I wrote what was above. I decided that I would stick my nose into our closet and tackle one piled up mess of clothes… an hour or two later, I'd done most of the closet! I didn't purge as much as I should have, but did emerge with a tower of yoga pants that don't fit very well anymore, not that I wore them much anyway! Next week we'll drop them off at the thrift store :-)


I couldn't believe how many black t-shirts I have!


Also, two days of organizing in a row has me on high alert for a potential mood shift... organizing is usually the first sign that I'm tipping into mania and the other night my head was starting to spin so I've been adding some extra meds and taking a bit of quiet time to slow things down.


Have you seen the movie about Mr. Dressup? I didn't realize he was American and also didn't know that Mr. Rogers got his TV start in Canada on CBC. It was a nice tribute but also a bit of a tear jerker... I don't recommend it if you are feeling a little wobbly. Sometimes I feel just fine and then some little thing sends me into the deep end. It doesn't happen often but is a reminder to not stuff feelings quite so much!



Awesome!


“pretty snow covered trees”

sorry my list is a little short today! We are getting ready to rush out for a birthday celebration.