Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Life Stands Before Me

Life stands before me like an eternal spring with new and brilliant clothes.
Carl Friedrich Gauss

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I had a few teary moments on the treadmill this morning - over the 5 1/4 miles, I actually ran (jogged) one whole mile!!! I never dreamed I'd be able to do this, but it just shows that perseverance pays off. I'm seeing progress in the other strength training exercises, but my gosh it is slow. I am SO out of shape it is shocking.

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With the change in medications, the exercise, some productive thought, good nutrition especially omega 3s, and mantras I feel as good as, if not better than before I got sick 8 years ago. It pains me to write that, as it seems that those were 8 wasted years, but there is no point in lamenting the past, instead it is better to celebrate the present and dream for the future, for life stands before me. And it’s looking pretty good right now.

We moved our patio furniture, and Grace's summer cage out to the back deck yesterday. Sitting down on the swing it hit me that yes, it is summer now! I think we scared away the robins that were building the nest. I was looking forward to watching life unfold as I walked (and ran!) on the treadmill. Perhaps they'll come back, but I doubt it.

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Merikay left a comment the other day about having periods of depression herself. I would be surprised if there were anyone who wasn't either touched themselves or knew someone who experienced it. There are two books that have helped me tremendously. I am sure that I would have far more periods of darkness if it weren't for these two books. 

The first is "The Mindful Way through Depression" by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn. It talks a lot about the harmful self-talk that we all partake in. This kind of thinking makes us sick! Not only do they address these conversations, they also give advice on how to change. It is a form of cognitive behaviour therapy. As a bonus there is a cd with meditations on it. I think it is well worth the money.

The other book is "Spontaneous Happiness" by Andrew Weil. I've talked a lot about it on this blog. It is another fantastic book that gives so many tools for managing your own illness, without anti-depressants. His is a holistic approach that includes nutrition, herbal supplements, mediations and mantras, among other things. I think the two books pair well together. I don't even lend either of these as I refer to them on a regular basis (same with my Eat to Live book), but I have purchased them for loved ones as I think they are just that good!

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The good thing about these books? They give us some control over our lives. They empower us.

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Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.
Charlotte Whitton