My hands shook as I opened up my tablet and selected the file. It was my turn and I was nervous. Everyone else had already taken their turn, reading their stories about the important people in their life and each had been interesting. With a gulp I started reading. The first part was easy, it was about my parents, Carm, and the people influenced my career. My speech started to slow… was I getting to the next part, the part that revealed me. I took a deep breath and continued. It was bound to come out sooner or later - after all this was a class about writing a memoir.
I couldn't write about the influential people in my life without including the people who saved me when I became ill, so i forged on. I didn't dare look up. There wasn't a sound other than my wavering voice - I wondered if they were in a stunned silence. It took a few, long moments after I stopped reading for anyone to say anything, but gradually discussion started and questions were asked, one lady had a bipolar brother, someone else knew somebody that was. I felt suddenly that I hadn't made a mistake. As the group broke up a few even make a point to tell me how brave they thought I was, and welcome to the group. Whew!
My 52nd birthday was spent as my birthdays are often spent. Just a quiet day with Carm and I. I slept in, we went to the golf course for breakfast, I walked the dogs, we had a steak dinner, and I was to bed early. Nothing spectacular, although if I had thought about it, I would have brought some sparklers from home!
We watched a Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart movie yesterday afternoon - "To Have and Have Not". It was their first movie together and when they first fell in love - you could feel the heat between them. I have a later one recorded - it will be interesting to see if the same sizzle is present.
It is mostly sunny but cool here today. I sat outside with a blanket around my shoulders to draw across me when the sun took a trip behind the clouds. The dogs are being driven berserk by the squirrels running everywhere. Bella stares intently out the windows for hours.