the (second) longest day

 It was a long night. Spike was still totally out of it and crashed out on the living room dog bed. I wasn’t going to move him so I stayed with him, starting on the sofa (which is reasonably comfortable), but moving to the floor when he started whimpering. Poor guy eventually got up so Carm took him outside. Once back in he walked into our room and settled on the dog bed there (luckily I’d already put a towel down). We slept soundly till 5am. Outside, back to bed, and up again in another few hours. 

It could have been worse… memories of my last night with Kabira were at the front of my mind.

I don’t know how he could have needed to pee all those times as he hadn’t drunk anything since coming home other than a bit of water I had syringed into him but it was a miniscule amount.

I have learned something: I am too old to sleep on the floor on just a thin mat.

Today we took turns watching him - it’s easy when he’s asleep but once he starts walking around we need to watch carefully as he gets himself boxed in corners and behind furniture, or slides on the floor and can’t get up. He does this a little bit anyway but it’s more pronounced.

He’s gotten a lot better through the day and is sipping water and even ate a bit of supper (yay for canned tripe!).

I played around with the window valances and have decided to keep them up. It looked like when a woman forgets her lipstick when going to a party - good, but not quite finished.

During the long wait yesterday I read back to some of last year’s blog posts - it’s interesting to see how much angst I felt at the beginning of the pandemic, I suppose from not knowing how it was going to roll. Now I just have a numb acceptance and don’t rail against circumstances so much. The most recent talk about vaccines is that we’ll be done by May or if you listen to the other doctor, by September. Still hoping for a big birthday bash!

“For just one second, look at your life and see how perfect it is. Stop looking for the next secret door that is going to lead you to your real life. Stop waiting. This is it: there's nothing else. It's here, and you'd better decide to enjoy it or you're going to be miserable wherever you go, for the rest of your life, forever.”

~Lev Grossman