Monday, June 18, 2012

It Will Be Forever

The "funny" thing about living with a mood disorder is how each mood phase is perceived. When I am depressed I am sure that it will last forever, there will never be a change and I will always feel this way. The same thing occurs when I'm in a good phase. I'm sure that it will never end, I just need to do all the things I do to manage my illness and the bad symptoms will never return.

For the last few months I've been feeling great and life has been awesome. I was thinking "I've finally found the secret! I'll be this way forever!". I was smug (and probably hypo manic and not normal at all). Then reality struck and my mood changed again. This time probably because of the change in medication, but I was so sure that everything would be fine. Oddly, it was only this morning that I realized the forever thing - I generally try not to live in absolutes, but I was. I hope that acknowledgement of  the changing nature of my moods will help me to live with them with more harmony.

We had a whirlwind father's day. It started with an 8am mass for Carm's dad. It was long, or at least seemed that way cause it was 100% in Italian. Then we picked up our groceries and raced to my parents. We stashed the groceries in the cool hall, and freezing freezer so that we could enjoy some time with them. As usual my Mom made a lovely meal for us - waffles, eggs, bacon, and a lovely fruit salad. I have to admit to a certain amount of weakness - I had all items, even the non vegan ones (can't live in absolutes, right?). After breakfast we dashed off home as Carm was meeting someone for golf.

I was nicely relaxed in the afternoon when the phone rang. It was Carm. He was bringing his friend home for supper. What!!!! OMG what will I make for supper? I was happy that it only took me a few minutes to figure out a decent dinner to serve a guest. Green beans with preserved lemon (garlic & rosemary), marinated and grilled mushrooms (lemon, garlic, hot pepper flakes), and brown rice. Everything turned out great and Adrian seemed happy enough with his vegan meal. We have been living this nutrarian lifestyle long enough that I'm getting a good repertoire of recipes. There are still some to try in the new recipe books, and the internet is just filled with great recipes.

Speaking of recipes, I made a batch of cookies yesterday using a different recipe from the last batch. This one was much better than the first (Adrian ate 2 last night), and with the raisins they are plenty sweet. As soon as I have a few minutes I'll be posting it here.