Sunday, July 5, 2020

all my brothers sisters and me

I usually have the first few sentences of my post all figured out before I sit down with my tablet but today my words have left me. So instead of trying to be literary, I’ll just detail the past few days simply. 

I’ll start with where I left off last week: Wednesday Olaf, Freya and Stephanie left for Mom & Dads. Thursday I lay around like a wounded animal barely able to summon the energy to do more than lie around watching mindless youtube videos. It would have been a good day to watch ‘Francis the talking Mule’, but even that seemed like too much effort.

After another long sleep on Thursday night I was slightly more energized Friday, which was a good thing as I was driving to Kirsten’s for another sibling night, this time with Graham. The four of us (along with the nieces, Shawn and Steph), had a lovely evening. We were more subdued than previous ‘parties’, but I think we all had a nice time anyway.


The plan was to come home Saturday after Mom & Dad got to Kirsten’s, but I managed to convince myself to stay till just after 6. I’m glad I did as it was so nice to have the family together, although we were missing Carm, Erik, and Juliette. Time passed quickly and I struggled with the idea of staying another night, as the day wore on I vacillated between staying and going, but in the end came home. 


The drive is nicely broken up into little way points so the 1 hr 5 min seems to go quickly. I was tired, but not so tired that I was falling asleep. I was pretty happy to turn into the laneway. The dogs were ecstatic to see me, and Carm might have been glad to see me too. A hot bath and a hotdog finished my day - it wasn’t much later when my head hit the pillow with a crash.

The weekend could have been better if we had brought the trailer to Kirsten’s place. We have a spot picked out and a long extension cord. If we like the parking spot we can put in a 30amp so that we’d have air conditioning. It would be awesome to be able to have little ‘camps’ every few weeks, but Carm is reluctant to take the trailer there.


It is sometimes hard to recognise and accept that my bipolar brain cannot do everything that everyone else can do. Fatigue is a killer for me, skewing my thoughts and physically impairing me. I was afraid that after another night of restless sleep I might be too messed up to drive home. I’d have probably been okay. Anxiety settles in too, making it hard to think straight. It’s not pretty!

I’ve had such a wonderful time these last two weeks that it might tide me over for a little more covid isolation although I might have a bit of withdrawal and need a bit of tiny pony time!



Headline tonight: 2,981,002 cases with 132,552 deaths in the US. There are a total of 105,535 (104,772 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 8,684 (8,642 yesterday) deaths today.


“Therefore, let the moon shine on thee in thy solitary walk; And let the misty-mountain winds be free to blow against thee.”
~William Wordsworth

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