Memory is the treasure house of the mind

A mild form of insanity took over yesterday making us decide to drive into town to visit Costco. Imagine… 3 days before Christmas and every single person that has taken time off work was cramming their way through the gaping doors. We stuck close together as we never would have found each other among the hordes of cranky shoppers. The crazy thing – we only needed a few groceries! (although I did have my hand on the little vacuum that I want – someday…)

After Costco we went to Home Outfitters which had good sales, but we wisely kept our wallets in our pockets – not so with Home Depot. We left with some plastic bins to help when we start to tackle the basement. I have a thing for plastic bins… I have them in all shapes and sizes, from small ones just big enough for a tube of toothpaste to giant ones filled with all manner of junk, all ready to be employed when a moment of organizing mania strikes. I like things neatly contained, although you wouldn’t know it from our house!

I was emailing my niece this morning about the memory that is triggered by cicadas. I am 6 or 7 sitting on the lawn at my grandfather’s place in Kelowna. The grass is dry from the hot summer sun, the towering pine trees seem to crackle as they march down the steep slope towards the lake. The lake is way below us – too far to walk – we are probably a km above it in the mountain. The smell of pine and grass is imbedded in my memory. I had to go through my file of hundreds of scanned slides to find a picture, but they don’t seem adequate.

While I was browsing through the slides (1350 of them!), I ran across a photo of my little sister Kirsten and I standing together wearing matching Christmas dresses. I don’t know if you’ve seen the photo that is floating around the internet of two little girls, approximately the same as as Kirsten and I were, the older one scowling while the younger one shows her pleasure at matching her older sister. The caption for both girls is “I’m wearing the same dress as my sister”. I almost fell off my chair laughing when I saw this one of us! Oh my, how times change – now I’d be pleased just to be near enough to her to have a matching outfit. In fact, we bought matching dresses the last time they were here – I decided on mine after she bought hers! We didn’t actually wear them at the same time, but still there was a connection to each other.

 

Memory is the treasure house of the mind wherein the monuments thereof are kept and preserved. ~Thomas Fuller

WYL #27 Happiness

Last weeks topic was happiness. While I have had so many happy memories, not to mention having had an overall happy life, these few hours stand out. I’ll let the story tell the rest.

~

A piece of straw stuck into my neck as I tried to get comfortable. The bed was hard and unyielding, but I'd done my best to make a cosy nest, and since the weather had taken a turn for the worse I was bundled up to my ears. This was my third night on watch and I was hoping it would be my last. I'd already checked Dora's milk umpteen times that day and was certain I'd seen a slight change. I lay there watching her as I tried to read my book; she seemed restless, like she was trying to get comfortable, stirring the butterflies in my already churning stomach. Throwing back the blankets, I got out of bed to check her milk yet again, but there was nothing obvious. I stood close to her, feeling her pendulous abdomen for signs of life - a heavy sigh escaped her and I felt myself relax a bit. Glancing up at the clock on the wall, I saw it was 9:30pm and almost time for lights out, so I made a final dash to the house.

Stepping back into the barn I was relived to see Dora still standing - I hadn't missed anything. After wrapping her tail "just in case", I flipped off the lights and made my way to the bed. I lay there watching her, struggling to force down the feelings of excitement that nearly overcame me - I wouldn't get any sleep at all if I got too wound up, but I'd been anticipating this event for much of my life. Just as I started to doze off I heard a quiet rustle as she lied down in the deep straw. My eyes flew open as I tried to discern if she was just asleep or if the moment was finally upon us. She lay there grunting for a moment and then laid her head down in the straw. My heart pounding, I slipped out of bed and crouched beside her, sliding my hand carefully down her haunch. As I sat there in the dim light I heard a soft whoosh - her water had broken. This was it. I put aside my excitement and got ready for action.

Quietly making my way over to the pile of supplies, I put on a waist pouch filled with the essentials and used the intercom to call back to the house. I crept back to sit behind Dora and she lifted her head giving me a soft, welcoming nicker.  With her tail pulled to the side, I could see a balloon of silvery grey material starting to protrude and a foot soon appeared, still wrapped in its slippery wrapping. I carefully slid my hand inside her to check for the other foot. It was right where it was supposed to be - good - no need to call in the vet yet. A few more pushes and I could see a nose. On the next push the rest of the head appeared. She rested for a moment and then with a great heave, he was here.

I looked over my shoulders and saw Carm standing there - the sparkle of tears in both of our eyes reflected the wonder of what had just happened. 

I quickly broke open the sac and cleared his nose so he could take his first breath - right in my lap - I gulped back the rise of emotion and got back to work. Listening to his soft, rhythmic breaths I pulled the amniotic sac back and started rubbing him dry. A gnawing question burned in my mind - colt or filly - so I slipped my hand underneath him and discerned that it was a boy. I felt a flash of disappointment - I had been hoping for a filly - but the feeling quickly passed. Dora rested on her straw bed, gaining the strength to expel the last of the pregnancy.  After a few minutes, she struggled to her feet and the afterbirth slipped from her body. I sighed with relief - all had gone well.

She turned to us, me on the floor with her new foal on my lap, and helped me dry him off.  Once that was done, I started the first phase of imprinting him,  a lengthy procedure to ready him for a life with humans. I started by touching him everywhere, until he was relaxed with each touch. Then, I gently moved his head and legs continuing until there was no resistance. I finished by rubbing a crinkly plastic bag over his body and around his legs and head. After the last plastic bag was ruffled over his head, I clambered to my feet to give the mare and foal a chance to bond.

Caught in the spell of the miracle of life, Carm and I held hands while watching the foal scramble to take his important first steps. We held our breath each time he tottered on his unsteady legs and groaned when he crashed back to the floor. It was impossible to hold back and soon we were cushioning his falls and helping him to balance against us. He soon got the hang of it and started searching for his first milk. Dora nudged him into place, nickering encouragement as he searched her belly for the nectar of life. As he suckled, I could feel her pleasure at having completed such a grand feat.

Once he had figured out his feet, and gotten his fill of milk, I went back to the house to change, but didn't linger there. Back at the barn, where all my hopes and dreams lie in a pile of straw, I sat down beside the sleeping foal, caressing his soft fur, marvelling in the perfect form.  I got up and wrapped my arms around Dora's neck, burying my face in her plush fur, and thanked her for the gift.  I'm not ashamed to say that I shed a few tears. 

For as long as I could remember I had the dream of breeding Norwegian Fjord horses. It was a fantasy that I never believed would be possible, one that I was sure would require the funding of 649. Then I met Pat Wolfe and sat in the sleigh behind his two geldings with their butter coloured haunches and fancy black stripe. My eye could not get enough of them, and moved me to increase my efforts to make my dream come true. Two years later, after searching high and low for Canadian breeders, I had my mare, Dora. The first step of my dream had come true. And with that exquisite, wobbly legged colt, I was well on my way to living the life that I had desired.

~

Remembering

Carm turned on the Remembrance Day service at about 10:45. I had a few minutes to reflect on the lives of those who served for our country. Sadness washed over me – it seemed as if the emotions of so many were borne on the wind. I stood at the window and let the tears flow blurring my vision. I thought of the mothers sending their sons into the unknown, and worse, getting the notice that they were lost and perhaps in one of the unmarked graves that sanctified the earth. Husbands leaving wife and child. So much lost.

As the service started I turned to watch the tv. Old men stood with time-worn faces that showed little emotion. They were trained soldiers after all. But their eyes seemed haunted. What memories were reeling through their minds? What fallen friends were missed? Do they ever get the bloody visions of war out of their thoughts? I wept for them.

After the fly by of the F18s on tv I ran outside to see if I could see them. In years past they have flown right over our house so I figured the odds were good. Well, I waited and waited (and froze), finally I gave up and came inside. I wasn’t in for more than a few minutes when I heard a roar over the house – I ran out in my bare feet but couldn’t see them. I guess they were long past by the time the sound came to me. When I was back inside I could hear them in the distance, so I put on some shoes (it was near zero and the ground was wet) and went back outside – this time they were too far north, but I could hear them clearly. Oh well. I guess hearing them is almost as good. It sent chills down my spine.

By now you may be thinking that all I do is cry! I don’t actually cry all that often – honest!

After the service I started poking through the piles of stuff from the camper to see what I could purge. I managed to pull out quite a bit of stuff… I feel calmer. It will be okay. It will be a challenge and I love challenges!

Merikay asked me why we are doing this since we love our old camper so much. An excellent question, but one that doesn’t have a logical answer!

• our camper is a 2004 so we wanted to trade in for something newer while it is in such good condition and is still worth a bit
• the new camper is a bit longer, but it has two slides (room extensions) across from each other in the living room which makes for a spacious room (good for dogs and people). There is also a slide in the bedroom
• we got carried away
• we were attracted to the two power awnings
• I may have been a bit manic (which would explain yesterday and the day before of total meltdown, and that now I’m 100% fine again) 
• we really like this brand of rv but they don’t make them anymore so we want to get one while we can (yeah, okay, there will always be some up for sale). The new one is the newest model made (2010) by Titanium before Glendale folded.
• I might have been a bit manic
• the new trailer has tons of bells and whistles. Not only is it a nice brand of rv, it is loaded with all the options plus more. I like nice stuff!
• we went to an rv sale and got caught up in wanting something nicer. Then on a rainy day we went to an rv dealer and saw a nice rv (but giant and expensive)
• we wanted a bigger fridge (the new one has a 10cf fridge vs our old 8cf)
• I worked out where all the storage matches up and where things will go before we went to see it (I thought). I forgot some of our cupboards. And the basement is a bit smaller. And it is short one storage area outside. But in my mind it all fit. Until I started emptying the 29
• we really like the new one
• I can hardly wait to get it home so that I can start making it ours

 

Today was a teacup day. Sometimes it is nice to get out some pretty things!

 

 

One must always maintain one's connection to the past and yet ceaselessly pull away from it.
Gaston Bachelard

Trailering... Horses that Is

We are on the 401, past Brockville, on our way to look at a trailer. We just stopped in Brockville for a quick breakfast at the traditional McDonalds. We used to stop at this one when we were taking horses to Margs in Picton. We'd get off the 401 at the first exit and drive through the nearly empty industrial area (which is now crowded with big box stores), and pull into the parking lot. There is a good location for a truck and trailer. We'd check on the horses then head in for breakfast.

We were remembering our various trips with the horses. Our first trip with the trailer was with Britt and Viktoria to a long-lining clinic with Olaf Nyby. My friend Deirdre came with us and took her turns with Viktoria (if I were home I'd have a few photos). The next trip was to pick up Rose. It was the end of April so she was still a fuzzy little filly. It was a beautiful day - a perfect one for the 5 hour trip. It was our first long trip with the trailer and we were shocked to watch the fuel gauge drop before our eyes. It cost us a ton of gas!

When we got home, Rose was put in the paddock with Venn who made quick friends with her (after chasing her around a bit). He was just 6 months older than her, and I think he was excited to have someone his own age.

We made many more trips, most uneventful. But one eventful one does come to mind. We had installed a camera system that let us see what was going on in the trailer from the truck. We were driving back from Margs with three bred mares (now that's another story of insanity), including 2 new mares. So they didn't all know each other. Viktoria and Clara were loaded in straight stalls at the front, with Luna in the back. I happened to look at the monitor and saw a little 1/2 buck... it looked like the partition between the front two mares was loosened. So Carm carefully pulled us off the 401 and we got out to look. Sure enough the partition had come off its hinges and was lying against their legs.

OMG.

I wasn't strong enough to get the job done so Carm squeezed in between two mares who obviously hated each other, with scary transport trucks zooming past,lifted up the partition into place, and got back out of the trailer in one piece. We got back on the road but it wasn't long before I saw the same thing happen. S$%@. Pull over again, get it back in place, this time take a rubber bungie and wrap it around the divider pole so the partition can't jump up. Fixed. And everyone safe and sound. It was truly a testament to Fjord horses good temperament that Carm got out of there safe and sound.

Part 1 of today... more to follow.

p.s please excuse any typos or weird formatting - working a touchscreen while bumping around the highway can be tricky!

Twirling Them in a Cheerful Jig

The other night on the news there was an article about the passing away of the man who started "Sam the Record Man", an iconic record store chain in Ontario. The newscaster asked if people remembered their first purchase at Sam's, and while I couldn't remember mine, I did remember the first records I ever bought myself. It was at the Kmart on Portage Avenue in Winnipeg, probably in the fall of 1974. I can't remember who I was there with (maybe Melody), but I can picture the record isle clearly. First I picked out 10cc "How Dare You" - they were one of my favs, introduced by a family friend;  then I picked out a Partridge Family album! What the *&@ - 10cc and Partridge Family - my music tastes have always run weird. I can listen to Black Sabbath one minute and Bach the next, throw in a bit of pop and folk and a ton of 70s music and I'm good to go. I like romantic ballads, Celtic whirls, the odd bit of Johnny Cash and I couldn't do without Leonard Cohen's dirge. One might say my tastes are  eclectic or perhaps just strange!

Today I’ve been listening (and listening) to a newly discovered singer, Katie Melua – here’s one of hers, and there are several others that I like. I ended up downloading her whole album. I’m not sure if they make me feel happy or sad, but they are mostly about love. I think a romantic evening with cheek to cheek dancing is in order!

 

Nine Million Bicycles

I liked this one too:

A Moment of Madness

It was a beautiful day today, full of sunshine and warm temperatures. While I did spend some of inside working on our finances, there were a few trips outside to enjoy Nature. (oh – and the wind wasn’t really sighing, it was dancing over the land, sometimes caressing leaves in a soft waltz, while other times twirling them in a cheerful jig.)

I Meant to Do My Work Today
Richard Le Gallienne

I meant to do my work today—
But a brown bird sang in the apple tree,
And a butterfly flitted across the field,
And all the leaves were calling me.

And the wind went sighing over the land,
Tossing the grasses to and fro,
And a rainbow held out its shining hand—
So what could I do but laugh and go?

A Challenge

Bjorn took me up on the weight loss challenge (5lbs by the end of October) - does anyone else want to join in? I always find it motivating to have a goal and to be accountable, even if just to this blog.

Yesterday as we drove into town the colour of the leaves on the big maples down the road brought to mind my restart into riding 17 years ago. It was this time of year that my friend Deirdre and I started leasing horses at a little farm not too far from here. It was one year after moving into the house, and at the same time that I quit smoking, both events which seem like they were another lifetime ago. Anyway, I don't recall how we found out about this place but we went to see it mid September and right away signed up. We used to meet there 2 or 3 times a week, sometimes we'd putz around the arena, but most of the time we headed out on the roads. At that time there wasn't much traffic on the local roads so we were able to ride along the country lanes (not so now, the roads are busy with crazy fast drivers). We had fun - we were re-living our childhood dreams. It makes me a little sad to think that it was so long ago... perhaps it is time to re-live those dreams again!

Yesterday we had another eating frenzy (I'm going to have to do some serious fasting to get to my goal at this rate). We started off with lunch at Carm's mom's. It was the usual Sunday lunch - pasta with homemade tomato sauce, meatballs (delicious homemade ones) and sausage. And cake. Always cake.

Then we drove to friends Eric & Betty for the afternoon, capped off with homemade pizza for supper. Yum. Friends Adrian and Julia were also there - it was the first time we met Julia - she is lovely - she immigrated to Canada from China, making the move all by herself. I think that is so brave!  Eric and Betty have an interesting story as well. Eric was in Tucson at a conference (along with Carm), he was early for a planned supper so sat down at the bar to wait, where he met Betty - they hit it off right away, and a year later they were married. They split their time between the northern climes of Ontario and the hot sunny south - a perfect mix. One never knows where love will find you :-)

Here’s how it goes with Kristen Lavransdatter – after reading this you’ll understand why sometimes I have to re-read a paragraph several times – especially as I am reading right before lights out!

“Night  after night he had knelt with close-shut senses and limbs benumbed, till he saw  the vision. The hill with the three crosses against the sky. Yonder cross in the midst, which was destined to bear the Lord of earth and heaven, trembled and shook, it bent like a tree before the storm, affrighted that it should bear that all too precious burden, the sacrifice for the sins of all the world. The Lord of the Tents of Storm held it in, as the knight curbs his  charger, the Chief of thee Castle of Heaven it bore to battle. Then was made manifest the wonder that was the key to deep and ever deeper wonders. The blood that ran down the Cross for the remission of all sins and the boot of all sorrows, that was the visible miracle. By this first wonder the soul’s eye could be opened to behold the yet darker mysteries – God that descended unto earth, and became the Son of a Virgin and Brother to mankind, that harried hell, and stormed with his booty of souls set free up to the blinding sea of light, wherefrom the world hath issued and whereby the world is upholden. And towards those bottomless and eternal deeps of light his thoughts were drawn up, and there they passed into the light and vanished, as a flight of birds passes away into the glory of the evening sky.”

 

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.
Aristotle

Me... At 50

50 Pleasures for 50 Years

In no particular order!

1. western bling
2. music - classical, Irish, 70s, rock ... pretty much everything
3. dogs - unconditional love
4. wide open views
5. houses with lots of windows
6. sweatshirts
7. dinnerware - what can I say, I love plates & dishes
8. the smell of baking bread
9. sunshine
10. crisp winter snow
11. tomato salads with basil pesto
12. Thai food
13. making love in the afternoon
14. snuggling up under the covers with a book on a rainy day
15. looking out my kitchen window
16. my computer and tablet
17. champagne/bubbles - any reason is a good reason
18. looking at maps
19. overgrown gardens full of flowers
20. sleeping with a little dog pressed against me
21. September - I love the cool, crisp days
22. listening to Grace (parrot) talk
23. wearing jeans
24. my house
25. cowboy boots and my Blundstones
26. having friends over for supper
27. green leaves against a blue, blue sky
28. laughing and being silly
29. white t-shirts
30. cooking
31. raunchy humour
32. Disney movies
33. merino wool socks
34. looking out over still water
35. the smell of autumn
36. lying in bed looking out the high window and seeing the tree branches
37. watching old movies
38. pink peonies
39. my bathtub and all its windows
40. pine trees
41. strong arms
42. a snowy afternoon walk (a special kind of hush)
43. dancing - at weddings, or just around the house
44. Queen Anne's lace
45. going for drives
46. my camper - truly a cabin on wheels
47. a thick rare juicy steak (for the inner carnivore)
48. my family - I am blessed
49. all the pleasures that I've mentioned here over the last few years...
50. and last but not least, Carm

I truly am blessed to have such a wonderful life. Much of it is made possible by my wonderful husband, a man who never ceases to let me know how loved I am. And my parents who always make me feel special. Of course friends and other family members play no small role. When I think to how my life could be, without all those mentioned I am ever more grateful.

Now enough of the maudlin stuff - let's PARTY!

Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words.
Plautus

Isn't Technology Wonderful

I took my tablet with me on our walk this morning so that I could map out the track for distance, etc. I hadn't used the "My Tracks" software before so I did do a minor screw up... but it is still pretty neat. Not only did it map out our route and calculate the distance (until I inadvertently stopped it), when I was done it zoomed into Google Earth and "walked" us around the route - it even paused at the right times. Not only  that but I can send the track to Google Maps and access it later at my conveniece. How cool is that. Of course it would be WAY MORE COOL if I had a phone as well and wasn't carting my tablet around in a backpack (geeks unite).

I started my career in IT fresh out of high school with  no computer experience. Mind you in 1981 there weren't computers where ever you turned. I started on a contract with my friend June's father, documenting master files. I took to it like a duck to water. While I was on that contract I was offered a more permanent job if I took a typing class (being able to type make life much easier), so of course I did. Twenty nine years later I retired/quit from the same spot. Of course I wasn't doing the same thing, but had learned some programming, how to install and manage computer systems, as well as being involved in a slight degree of Data Management, not to mention how to torment developers with requests for documentation that was actually understandable. But, back to the point I was going to make - computing came to me naturally. All these things were intuitive. I sometimes wonder what I could have accomplished if I had a university education (I would have liked engineering I think as I love to problem solve).

But I digress again - back to the early days of work. We worked on a mainframe computer as well as a PDP11 mini computer. Some things I did with PUNCH CARDS. There were no PC's. We had a terminal room where there were a bunch of "dumb" terminals for us to do our work on. It was only a few years though until PC's made their entrance, and not long after that we had connectivity to the mainframe from our PC - we could work in our office (which was good and bad - there was so much data transfer by working side by side with people). Using DOS. And then Windows came along. And years after that the internet.  Now look at the information that people have at their fingertips. No trips to the library for them.

Years ago, we got new data dictionary software (Rochade) that installed on Unix with a windows front end. It was just newly available in North America as it was a German product. Well, I can't count the number of times that I fell to the floor laughing so hard cause an error message was displayed - one giant word that was almost the width of my screen... in German.  The first time I ran to the bookstore downstairs in our building to see if they had a German/English dictionary. They did. The word was not in it. These days it would be a simple query on Google!

Anyway, despite my 29 years or perhaps because of them I am a computer junkie and a gadgeteer. I love technology and would go into serious withdrawal if I didn't have automated tools like Excel, Word (wordperfect was my favorite - I loved macros), Advanced Diary, MyMemories Scrapbooking software, digital photos, CALENDARS!!! oh and Email... and of course I can't forget Blogger.

In fact I wrote the majority of this while sitting out under the awning, glancing up at the water sparkling in the distance and hearing the rustle of leaves in the trees. It is hot - 28C - amazing for mid September. Now time for my book, Kristen Lavransdatter, which I am slowly getting through.

The sky is the daily bread of the eyes. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

I don't normally look too closely at myself in the mirror - I prefer to view myself though my minds eye, the one that keep me looking as I did when I was 30. Today was different though, you see I purchased hair dye the other day with the plan of going back to my younger, blonder hair. What does that have to do with anything you may ask...

After waiting the requisite 48 hours after testing on a patch of skin, I was ready to proceed. I carefully followed the steps and emerged from the shower 30 minutes later with a strawberry blonde head of hair. Without my glasses on I put on some bright coral lipstick, my new "kiss me" mascara, a pair of dangly earrings and a nice top. Time for the glasses for careful scrutiny. OMG. Who is that old person in the mirror? I realized full on that I now look like an almost 50 year old woman.

There is just no denying it. I am struggling to come to terms with it - is that really even possible? How does one make the leap from young woman (in my delusional mind), to woman growing old. I'm FREAKED OUT!!! Where did the years go? How could I have deluded myself for so long (sure I knew I didn't look 20 any more but I never really looked, or I looked but didn't see).

Where have the years gone? What have I accomplished? Sure we had the parrots and the horses - those were life dreams for me, and yes I've spent the last 8 years battling bipolar (and isn't that a waste in itself?). But where is the meaning? What do I mean by meaning? I don't even know. I suppose working might have had meaning - I like to believe that what I did helped our government department have better computer systems (again, there's that delusional thinking!). Breeding the parrots started out having meaning as we felt that we were helping to save species in the wild, or at least creating a domestic genetic pool that could be drawn upon to help re-introduce species to the wild. But I think that was just delusional as well. Breeding the horses helped to fill a demand for quality family/show horses - I don't think I'm deluding myself here). But what about now?

Growing older isn't just about looks (although I'd happily take my 20something year old looks back), it is also about being content with oneself.

I thought I was ready to turn 50, but now I'm not so sure.

Then again, maybe it's just the coral lipstick...

Essence

I was going to go through my calendar and try to figure out what we did each day when Kirsten was here. However, since I don't really remember the exact days we did things I thought instead I could capture the essence of what we did and how their visit was.

Here are some things we did, sort of in order, but not totally:

First day they were here we went to the Sunset Ceremonies (written about previously)

The next day was Canada Day, and I drove in to visit.

I think the next day (Monday) my brother Graham brought Kirsten and all the kids out for a swim. Kirsten & girls stayed over.

Tuesday we went camping.

Wednesday we were camping. We did a bit of shopping in Morrisburg.

Thursday my mom came camping and we went to Upper Canada Village.

Friday they all left and Carm came to help me tear down and drive the camper back home.

Saturday & Sunday Kirsten and the girls were in Montreal with their aunt Kenda.

Monday... is that the day we went shopping with Mom for her dress?

blur of shopping, visiting, swimming & sleepovers (Wed I didn't see them - dr. appointment). One of the nights they stayed over - I can't remember what we had for supper. We did go to St. Albert for curds and an icecream.

Friday we did something but I can't remember what. Maybe swimming?

Sunday I went to Jade's shower (Carm's nephew's wife to be)

Monday Kirsten, Shenna and I went shopping for a dress for Shenna for the party. We found a pretty (demure) black lace one for $10.00 at one of the cheesy shops for young adults. Then Graham and Carole took us out for supper (delicious sushi!).

Tuesday during the day the kids were over for more swimming. Kirsten must have brought them out for just a few hours. Juliette is so much more comfortable around the dogs. I think it is really great that she is overcoming her fears – you go girl!

Tuesday evening I had dedicated time to do the music for the anniversary party - power outage from 3pm to 3am. Instead we went in for a visit - Uncle Graham and Aunt Barb had arrived from Medicine Hat, and the Foleys from Scotland. It was a full house!

Wednesday was the music day. Everyone else went to Mackenzie King's estate for tea, but I was stuck in front of my computer - ALL DAY and into the night. Who knew it would take so long...

Kirsten and the girls came out Wednesday evening for the night. We had a quick supper of gnocchi and then dashed over to the Dairy Queen before it got too late.  Everyone enjoyed their last taste of Dairy Queen (blizzards for Kirsten, Nissa and I, some kind of chocolate sauce icecream bowl for Shenna and a strawberry sundae for Carm.

Thursday we all (except Carm) headed back to town where we helped out and ran some errands.  I had an appointment at 4pm at Brittania Yaght club where the party was being held. Kirsten drove and I navigated... what can I say, between the traffic from rush hour and the bad directions we didn't make it there till 4:30. Luckily Brianna was still there... so we could find out that their cd player didn't work at all... and their ipod dock may or may not have an input. It certainly didn't have one that matched my mp3 player so off to Best Buy to see what we could find. Through the rush hour traffic we forged. Luckily they had the part so we rushed back to see if it worked. Hurrah! It did.

A few more errands and a stop to share a hamburger (the place was voted best hamburger in Ottawa, of course we had to try it - it was good). Finally we were home by almost 8pm. We were wiped, but I still had to finish up with the music. Mom had a few more songs she wanted to add, and then finally it was time to load  the music onto my mp3 player (Creative Labs Zen). When I first opened the Zen software it showed a list of music that was a fraction of the songs, then right before my eyes the number started going down. 31...30...29...28...27... At this point I'm hyperventilating and quickly checked the directory using Windows My Computer - all the songs were there. I figured it might have something to do with the number on songs in the directory so I quickly divided it up into 5 directories. Suddenly it all started working and I was able to load the music. Whew. It was past 9:30 and I was done for - I couldn't remember feeling that tired. I was glad I was staying the night and not driving home (plus it gave me a few more minutes with Kirsten!).

Friday was the big day - my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary Party. Excitement was high as Mom, Jane Foley, and Shenna arranged the flowers.

In the afternoon (Uncle) Graham and I ran over to DiRenzios to pick up an order of sandwiches that Carm had placed. More things to organize, showers to take, and dresses to arrange. Finally by 4:15 flowers, cake, dresses, etc. was loaded into the van and off Kirsten, Shenna and I went... through rush hour again. The Foleys went in their own “packed carefully with flowers” car. They took a different (better) route and got there way before us. We finally got there in one piece and got to work. Once we were done the place was transformed. It looked so pretty, I knew my Mom would love it. We got into our dresses and got the music playing with some romantic big band music just in time for the guests to start arriving.

The night turned out perfectly. Except... hardly anyone danced... my music was a bust. Kirsten had to play the hip hop music on her phone so that at least the kids would have fun. The place didn't have any air-conditioning and it was hot which most certainly contributed to the lack of motion on the dance floor.

 

Kirsten, Shenna and Nissa

Juliette is always colourful

Carm and Dad

Graham, Carole, Juliette and Erik (looking so cool!)

No rest for the weary though - Saturday Mom was hosting a get together for the out-of-town family. I knew that bbqing for 25 people would be a bit of a hassle so Carm and I made Pepproncini beef in the crockpot - with some pre-made salads, rolls, and the desserts that Carole had made we had an easy supper. And no one had to bake out by the bbq.

After everyone had left I followed Kirsten up to their room. She and the girls had to pack. With the scale out they made sure their bags were loaded within limits, and the items were evenly distributed. We joked that she'd have to pack the Frosted Wheat cereal that she got for Shawn in separate pieces - distributed in every nook and cranny. Luckily the box fit ;-)  After the packing was done the girls fell asleep and Kirsten and I talked into the night.

I've already talked about Sunday - the day they left. No need to rehash that misery!

I guess I ended up laying out much of what we did. Except that I missed what I really wanted to capture which was the essence of their visit. Suffice it to say we spent a lot of time together, but not enough. The girls are lovely, warm, funny, cute and it was just so wonderful to get to know them again. Shenna is reserved and a bit shy, but when she smiles it lights a room. Nissa is a clown and a bit of an actress. She is just a joy to be around. She's a bit of a nut! Kirsten is a bit zany, she likes to goof around and is very funny. She's a great mom. She's easy to talk to and fun to be around. We laughed at the same things. They are all a bit animal crazy like me (on their farm they have dogs, cats, budgie, ponies, sheep, chickens, ducks and who knows what else). Kirsten and I could talk and talk and it seemed that we never ran out of things to say.

They live too far away.

Finally, the essence of their visit can be boiled down into one word - LOVE.

I'm pleased to say that even with all the sleep disruption and excitement I managed the 3 weeks without slipping into hypo-mania. I'm glad we (doctor & I) bumped one of my meds back up a notch as I hardly experienced any anxiety. I felt good the whole time. Since they've left I've been catching up on my sleep (oh my gosh I was so tired by the end) and relaxing a bit. I am keeping myself busy enough to hopefully keep any depression away. We head out in just under 2 weeks for a trip to Presquille, and I'm planning a trip to NZ in late January so having those trips to look forward to is really helping.

Of course sitting here writing this brings back some damp eye, but that's okay - it just means I had a good time :-)

Windy Windrows

The farmer from next door was over this afternoon raking the hay in our field into windrows in preparation for baling. It brought to mind our horse owning days - days when we'd keep the hay and it was so important to us. Terry would call us at work in the afternoon to let us know he was heading over to bale. We'd rush home anxious to get there in time to unload the first hay wagon. There were only three wagons so we'd have to work like crazy to keep up with the baler.

The first few years Carm and I did it ourselves but after that we tried to get help - often boys from the local group home. Once Kirsten and Deirdre also came out. It sure helped to have extra hands. Often I'd be in the wagon unloading it to the ground. On a good year I'd hoist 20 to 30 thousand pounds (in 40lb chunks) in an afternoon. Then there was the year that I had to get on top of the stack in the barn and Carm would hand them up to me. That was the last year I wore shorts for this job! If you've never handled hay lets just say that I had a million little cuts on my legs. And then I put Solarcain on them - stupid! I thought the agony would never end.

It was always very satisfying to see the barn brimming with enough neatly stacked hay for the winter. But it was a job that we came to dread so we started to get large square bales done. These would be stacked in the paddock and covered with tarps. As needed, a bale would be dragged down from the stack, sometimes with ropes and people power, but sometimes we needed to get the truck down there to pull. Then we'd cut the strings and flake by flake drag it into the barn and stack it ready for use. It was still lots of work, but spread out over the winter so easier to manage - and not all done on the hottest and most humid day of the year!

This afternoon is really the first time that I've spent any measurable time on the swing. Grace was beside me in her outdoor digs, playing and chewing on sticks.  It always amazes me how strong she is - the acrobatics that she can do with her little stick legs is amazing. I forgot to mention it the other day but she turned 14 on Sunday!  She's not even middle aged.

I've been a bit discouraged the last few days... as many of you know I've been working with my doctor to drop one of my medications. This is a painstaking process with month(s) between each small increment. Well, I was down another increment a few weeks ago and since then I've had periods of anxiety, and it is getting worse. I'd just be standing there, with nothing in particular on my mind, and this wash of anxiety would descend - not at all pleasant. So... after discussion with my doctor I'm back up to the last increment.  I had been hoping to be totally off by the end of summer but that won't be the case now. I'll try again in a few months after the summer madness has passed.

Today I did another 10K on the treadmill! I shaved off 4 minutes from my last time so finished it in 86 minutes - whew. I ran more than I've ever run in any length of time. The problem with these big workouts though is I'm STARVING for the rest of the day. DQ Ultimate burger anyone? (I resisted with great difficulty)

Wednesday I had lunch with some friends from work - my old coffee group. We went to a Thai buffet... need I say more? I LOVE Thai food, it might even be my favourite, and this buffet is particularly good. It was hard not to gorge, and I'm sad to say that I did (gorge myself that is). After lunch and my doctor's appointment we went to Marks Work Warehouse to check out what they had on sale. The next day they were having a 20% off the price, including the sale price so we wanted to figure out what, if anything we wanted to buy. As luck would have it we talked to a sales person and she suggested that we put everything on hold and pick it up on Wednesday. I can't believe the clothes we got for the price. We aren't big clothes shoppers (Costco is usually where we buy our stuff), so it was good to get a few other things to tide us over till we are skinny ;-)

Dreams are necessary to life.
Anais Nin

And the Rain Came Down

And ruined my peonies - sob.

The other morning I was walking on a little path Carm had mowed in the hayfield, when I turned to go back there was a little garter snake writhing on the ground. It was all coiled and moving on itself. I stopped dead in my tracks and took a step back. The grass was high on either side of the path, and I couldn't work up the nerve to step over it... As I stood there feeling stupid I remembered back to the time I fed Kirsten's boa constrictor.

She was looking after her then boyfriend’s snake while he was at university. The snake needed feeding and neither she nor my mom could do it,  so I made the trip to Montreal, went to the pet store, picked out a rat, and then travelled to the house with this rat on my lap. Hummm... grossed out yet? Anyway, when we got home Kirsten took the snake out for a little slither around her room. It came over to me and I realized that I must smell like rat! Yikes. Did I mention that this snake was over 6' long (hence the rat, not a mouse)? Kirsten put the snake away and then left the room leaving it up to me to put the rat in the cage, and then watch until the rat was safely consumed. Sometimes the snake gets a bad grab and the rat can chew at the snake, leaving it pretty injured. What I was supposed to do if that happened I have no idea! This whole endeavour was not a job that I ever wished to experience again... it took the snake ages to finally grab the rat, and then watching till the rat was fully consumed was just gruesome. No pet snakes for me!

One more snake story and then I'm done. My brother Graham was into reptiles as well and had a stream of lizards, snakes and other creatures. One day he came home with a 12' (I kid you not) boa or python... It was disgusting... I think it was overweight as it was so big around - it probably could have swallowed a basketball with no problem, and certainly the family dog and cat were in danger! Mom gave him a couple of days to find it a new home... which really goes to show how cool my mom is that she even let him bring it into the house at all!

Sunday we went to the Saint Anthony’s day parade with Carm’s family. This was one of Carm’s dad favourite times so it was special to spend it together as a family. The parade is much smaller than Carm remembers from his childhood – he recalls up to 20 bands – Sunday there were only 2 (and one of them had bagpipes!). Different groups walked by with their own special banners.

I'm now down 30 pounds from when I was working! I still have 15-20 left to lose, but I feel pretty good :-)  I'm trying to add more intensity to some of my treadmill sessions - today for the first time I was able to run for 1/2 mile straight. Of my 60 minutes on the treadmill today, 1 1/4 miles of it were done running – this is a big thing for me. I've been doing some weights too and am starting to see the results. It is so cool to see muscle definition starting in my shoulders and arms! And my abs are getting stronger too. I've never done this sort of exercise before and I'll have to say that I'm loving it :-) Of course it doesn't hurt that Carm is always saying how great I look (very motivating!).

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!
Anne Frank

10K Race

Today was the big 10K race here in Ottawa and since it was a treadmill day I thought I’d see if I could do it. One and one half hours later I was done – 10K (6.25 miles). I was tired, but after a short rest and an electrolyte replacing smoothie (coconut water, banana, almond butter, and a bit of almond milk) I could have done some more (I didn’t!).

The dogs watched me (when they weren’t sound asleep) from the comfort of the futon – I think they might need their own treadmill so that they can start to get fitter.

I think I’ll put a long walk into my regime once every week or so. It might increase my endurance. I will also start working more on speed – I haven’t done any more running since I did the 1 mile in four little bursts… time to get back at that. Imagine being able to jog/run 10K… a girl can dream can’t she!

I got plenty of time to watch the robins in the tree outside the treadmill window. I think the babies hatched last night or this morning. They grow so quickly – I think they’ll be gone in less than 2 weeks. Much different from the parrot babies which would be weaned at 12 – 16 weeks at the earliest.

A morning-glory at my window satisfies me more than the metaphysics of books.
Walt Whitman

Music of the Night

Last night we were watching a show with Chet Atkins and a bunch of other musicians (Mark Knopfler, the Everly Brothers, Emmy Lou Harris, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, etc.) (Chet & Mark play “in your dreams”). They were all older musicians who have done their time on stage and in the studio. They must have played some of these songs thousands of times, yet you could see the joy and passion that they still had for playing. It was lovely to see - they are so lucky to have been blessed with a talent but even more so for their love and passion. I felt a little wistful and wished that I had that same sort of passion for something. 

I also watched "The Long, Long Trailer", a 1953 movie with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez. It is a pretty funny romp featuring a giant trailer that they are pulling through the mountains, with a car. There was one scene in particular that made me laugh. Dezi had to back the trailer into a narrow laneway, flanked by landscaping. There was a bunch of people all shouting different directions to him and of course he got flustered and ended up backing it into all manner of things. It reminded me of our third time out with our first trailer. At that point Carm had backed into our laneway (a tricky backup at that), but never at a campground. Well, we got to our site at UC Campground to find trees flanking the site - gulp. A group of people converged on the truck, everyone with different ideas about how to turn the wheel, etc. It was starting to be a remake of the Long, Long Trailer! Thankfully one guy whooshed them all away and helped Carm manoeuvre into the site. It was a bit of a trick getting in so Carm stressed the whole weekend about getting back out. As it turns out driving forward is much easier than driving backwards ;-)

The campground was a pretty funny place - we called it Hillbilly Land. There were mostly seasonal campers around us with all manner of "stuff" decorating their sites. And there were a million kids driving around on their bikes. It was a zoo! We even saw someone with a bloodhound - the perfect hillbilly accompaniment! On the campground map the bit of woods across from us was called the "Enchanted Forest". We laughed and laughed over that one - it was basically a swamp with some trees growing in it. But all that aside we were happy, we were camping!

Yesterday and today I worked on our closet - more organizing! It was stuffed to the gills with clothes and so disorganized. It is still stuffed but is now more organized. Carm was really good about getting rid of old stuff  (and shirts that were brand new but never worn), but I wasn't so good at it. I have tons of logowear t-shirts that I could get rid of, after all how many slouching around the house clothes does one really need, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I packed a bunch into a bag to store till later (where else but in the basement). And I still have tons of stuff. But strangely I never have anything to wear when we go out. Most of my clothes are t-shirts. I never was a fashion plate. One suggestion I read said to take a paper and inventory what bits go together to make complete outfits and then use that chart to buy new things. I just may try it.

I read an article today about how heart disease is caused by  inflammation, and inflammation is caused by what we eat - namely sugar, flour and omega 6 fats. So what did I have for lunch? Hotdogs on white buns, with chocolate milk on the side. All bad for me foods. Why is it that even when we KNOW something is bad for us we still indulge? On the menu for tonight though? Sautéed mushrooms, spinach & red pepper over a bed of brown rice & lentils - all good for me foods. Does that balance it out. Probably not :-(