Saturday, October 18, 2014

More Spacious than Heaven

I stood gripping the back of the pew in front of me. The chanting prayers of the priest and his acolyte echoed in the holy space. I was looking up, mesmerized by the brightly coloured murals on the ceiling and walls. All the colour and sound was making me feel a bit dizzy. I shifted my eyes towards the front of the church where a painting of a large person with a smaller one in front of them took centre stage. Arched around these characters were the words “More Spacious than Heaven”. I focused on the words, unsure about what they meant, but surely it was something important to have such a prominent place.

Some movement and a small cry caught my attention. At the front of the church, our little grand niece, Marissa, had just been fully dipped into the font of holy water. I would have made more fuss, as it was cold in the room. The melodious prayer continued (I will admit to thinking about how all the singing was somewhat like 'Les Miserable'). She chortled as the towel soaked up the precious water, and wiggled as they dressed her in a beautiful gown. Carried by her godmother and godfather, and joined by all the other children in the church, she made three circuits of the altar, and then paused for the rest of the ceremony.

The celebration continued in the reception hall, with appetizers, soup, salad, main course, and dessert. Marissa, of course, is far to young to enjoy such bounty, but the rest of us waddled out of the hall, stuffed to the gills. One of the desserts was a granular cake, almost like a cornbread, flavoured with honey and rosewater. Very unusual and very delicious.

When we got home, the dogs were frantic with the need to get outside. Once outside they cried and ran and leapt and cried, oh, and peed. They were starving too and surely thought we were never coming home again. It didn't take long for them to settle down though.

This morning, we got the camper winterized, and a bit more stuff unloaded. There is still some work to do, but the stuff that will freeze is off. Come on winter - we are ready for you… JUST KIDDING!

I was not in the greatest of states this morning, I could feel my mood slipping into a bad place and as I sat, almost overcome with negative thoughts, I reminded myself that I needed to change my thinking. Oh sure. The fact is, winter is coming, and our house is not spartan; wherever I look is chaos. So I started formulating a plan. Step one: buy some boxes that will fit well on my storage shelves. Get some pretty labels. Step two: one room at a time organize and purge. Another step: move some of the stuff from the basement into the barn (maybe garage sale some of it). Small steps of concrete action. I started to feel better. I no longer felt like I was going to fall apart. I can do this. Yes, I can do this.