Monday, October 19, 2015

let it rain

Everything was frosted with a heavy white glaze this morning. No, not snow. Just plain old plant killing frost, the kind that turns the impatiens to mush. It isn't without beauty, if you get on your knees and look closely at the grass and clover they are adorned with tiny crystals. It is even prettier when the sun lights it up (which it was doing this morning).

Despite the cold, or perhaps because if it, the dogs went crazy. They ran and ran, even Kabira who still had her pajamas on. Spike pounded down the driveway and around the apple trees in a perfect suspended gallop, quite a feat for a dog with no greyhound in his background. Eighteen days worth of constrained leash walks powered their exuberance as they raced into the hay field and did laps in the centre.

Monday's are 'creative writing workshop' day so I chugged a cup of coffee and made myself barely presentable. I wasn't sure how the class would pan out - what would it be like to have my story critiqued? Would my feelings be so hurt that I'd cry? I'd already told myself that I'm doing this to learn, not to already be good (if you know what I mean). I find it hard not to be really good at something - most of the things that I've done in my life I've had an aptitude for, so it's been easy to excel and haven't had to try very hard. Horseback riding was not one of those easy things, nor is writing. Writing is hard for me, although it has gotten easier over the almost FIVE years that I've been writing my blog - that's a lot of practice!

It wasn't hard at all. The critiques were well balanced with comments on what was good about the story so I didn't feel overwhelmed or picked on. Instead I felt encouraged to try different things. The next assignment involves dialogue - that is totally outside my realm… gulp.

When I got home I tried to avert my eyes from the piles of stuff in the front hall, and the table in the great room. Imagine an 8' long harvest table piled with everything that you'd need to live with. Well, not everything, there is still plenty of stuff left in the camper… cans and boxes of food, spices, bags of stuff from the bathroom… it is all piled high on the table and somewhere, somehow, it has to be put away till the spring. When I walk past I try to dim my eyes and not see it - I'm not ready.

Usually chaos or mess disturbs me and may even cause a mood shift. I read some previous blog posts from this time of year and it is clear that I was entering winter from a bad place. This year is different though - I still have the same calm contentment that I did during the last 2 months of camping. I'm not bothered by the table's 'bounty'. This year is going to be different.

For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow