Saturday, September 15, 2012

Rekindle the Inner Spirit

It rained cats and dogs last night so we cuddled up and watched a silly movie - Tower Heist with Ben Stiller - he always cracks me up since seeing him in Zoolander which might be one of the funniest movies ever. It was a cute movie, although there were some parts that I had to cover my eyes - serious fear of heights made it such that I couldn't watch the scenes from the top of the building.

I never mind a rainy day or night in the camper. It is so comfortable to me, not just physically, but emotionally as well. When ever I walk into it I have a feeling of being home.

After such a wet night, and with the forecast calling for showers and cloudy for Saturday we were pleasantly surprised that we had to roll down the awning to get out of the blazing sun! What a bonus :-)  It was perfect for a nice long walk with the dogs and then curling up with a book (Still Kristin Lavransatter: I). I'm  up to page 178 already - I'm finding it easier to read, perhaps my brain is getting used to the English.

Just a few minutes ago I wanted another water bottle so I asked Spike to bring it to me. He had been asleep but he got up right away and brought it to me. No encouragement needed. But he did get a little treat for being such a good little dog (for a change!). Speaking of the dogs they had a great chew yesterday and today on some lovely big knuckle bones that Trudie had given them. I don't think there is anything much happier than a dog with a bone, except maybe a dog with a bone camping.

We were in Morrisburg this afternoon looking to refresh the stock of junk food. It's birthday week you know so that's my excuse to indulge. While we were in Giant Tiger we found some more sparklers. Now I have 4 packs of 8 - not 50, or even close to 50, but it should be enough to celebrate with. I'm thinking I'll light 5 in the morning, 5 in the afternoon, then another 5 when we open the bubbles, and 5 more with dessert, and 5 at bedtime. That's 5 times with 5 sparklers which still doesn't add up to 50, but if I think hard enough I'm sure I can find a way to make it make sense! It is a pretty lame celebration I know - just Carm and I and a bunch of sparklers - but I can't think of anything else. Plus I had that fantastic trip to Alberta with my parents - that has much meaning for me.

The other day Ruth commented about not knowing what to do to help when I'm in a depressed state. I can only speak for myself but guess that others are the same - when I'm in that state of mind I can't ask for help, it is just too hard and I just want to be left alone, BUT at the same time I desperately want/need personal contact. Don't take my word for it! Leaving me alone with my thoughts is the worst thing as they can spiral down into places the mind should never go.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you suspect someone is depressed please reach out, with a phone call or email or in person - even if at first they turn away. There have been a few times that Ruth has sent me emails exactly when I needed them, it seems to me she's called at the right moment too (thank you for that). Please don't take it personally if the person rebuffs you at first, cause it is not you they are rebuffing, but is really themselves. Family and friends are more important than you can imagine to a depressed person. They may be life and death important.

Whew... that was hard to write as it conjured up so many feelings... but now it is time to get back to thinking when I'm going to sparkle all those sparklers!

(If it be your Will sung by Antony just played in my mp3 player - I can't get enough it)

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Albert Schweitzer

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