Stuff from the basement is trickling out the door. One of the giant airline style dog crates left yesterday, with the other scheduled to leave soon - these things are 48" x 36" which leaves a gap in the storage room downstairs. Next week we'll schlep a huge bag of clothes and FOUR boxes of books to the Salvation Army. You would think that with all of this progress I wouldn't get struck down by anxiety when I'm on the treadmill…
That's 2 days now that treadmill stress has struck. Walking on the treadmill is the last time I'd expect for this to happen - exercise is supposed to help right? Marching along to my favourite songs, looking out at the snowy landscape should bring me to a good spot, but that expanse of snow is a blank slate for errant thoughts. The mood sticks to me like one of those sticky mouse traps and seems impossible to shake off, but I try and I try, unwilling to give up. I'm trying right now.
(re the quote – it sure doesn’t feel like freedom from this vantage point!)
Thank goodness that we have a sunny day though! It is a pleasure to stretch out on the futon with my tablet on my lap and pretend like I'm a writer of some sort.
Oh!!! Speaking about pretending to be a writer, yesterday the mailman brought me another treat. As in previous years, I printed 2014's blog and this year I even splurged on a hard cover. I don't know why, but it gives me great pleasure to flip through the pages, feeling the smooth paper, smelling the fresh ink, and seeing all my words in print – I feel a sense of accomplishment. It is indulgence on a grand scale. But wait! It gets better! I also printed Spike's tale of his trip to Alberta, also in hard cover. It is a thin book with just 47 colourful pages, as opposed to my giant blog book with 200 more pages!
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.