the beauty that still remains

I was still thinking about Anne Frank when I woke up this morning. I don’t know why I’m wired this way but tragic stories affect me deeply, too deeply really and often it’s hard to shake the feeling. This morning was no different… I should say, now is no different.

I looked through the ‘good reads’ site of her quotes, there were lots of good ones but I settled on the one at the end of this post. She wrote with so much maturity for a 15 year old - it seems impossible for one so young… her words are ones to live by.

Segue to the trouble I was having with Google Photos - my mood took a decided downturn as frustration and anger mounted. Carm helped me debug - part of the debugging was removing all local versions of my photos - I almost lost it at that point - it is partially working now but I haven’t tried editing a photo from our network storage and storing it on the cloud yet. 

I slouched around the house some more, doing the odd thing but generally too discombobulated to do much. I felt fragile. And angry with myself for being so emotional. ‘Get a grip!’. I don’t know about you, but I feel afraid for our future. My future. The world’s future.  I don’t want my life to change… Thoughts on how the USA, who used to be a big brother in the world, has fallen down with its leadership, leaving room for China or Russia to step into the void. What if they become too powerful and impose themselves on our lives? What’s going to happen with the Ebola outbreak in Africa without Obama to intervene like he did last time? Is this all a prelude to climate change? Are we going to be really fucked? 

Sometimes I think too much.

Cue some uplifting music: 

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

My, oh, my, what a wonderful day

Plenty of sunshine headin' my way

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

Mister Bluebird’s on my shoulder

It's the truth, it's "actch’ll"

Everything is "satisfactch'll"

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay

Wonderful feeling, wonderful day!

Disney to the rescue!

It’s cold and windy with clouds zooming past the sun. Not a bad day, but not great either.

Is it wrong for me to wish covid-19 on all those protesters in the states? Not to mention their leader as he maliciously encourages people to protest the stay at home orders. Watching the news often ratchets up my anxiety levels.

Headline tonight:  709,201 cases, with 37,135 deaths in the US. There are a total of 31,927 (3,106 yesterday) cases of Covid-19 in Canada today, with 1,310 (1,191 yesterday) deaths to date.

“'I’m filled with joy. I think of going into hiding, my health and my whole being as das Gute; Peter's love (which is still so new and fragile and which neither of us dares to say aloud), the future, happiness and love as das Liebe; the world, nature and the tremendous beauty of everything, all that splendor, as das Schöne.

At such moments I don't think about all the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. This is where Mother and I differ greatly. Her advice in the face of melancholy is: "Think about all the suffering in the world and be thankful you're not part of it." My advice is: "Go outside, to the country, enjoy the sun and all nature has to offer. Go outside and try to recapture the happiness within yourself; think of all the beauty in yourself and in everything around you and be happy."

I don't think Mother's advice can be right, because what are you supposed to do if you become part of the suffering? You'd be completely lost. On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance. A person who's happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery!

~Anne Frank